damn ma is it that serious

been styling my hair based on mountain dew flavors

who fucking litters. why do i ever see litter. who thinks that’s okay. who. who NEEDS to throw their fast food bag out the fucking window instead of waiting until they get somewhere with a trashcan. what kinda clown behavior. get fucked.

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

dandelions deserve more respect than they get

you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”

The dandelions aren’t gonna fuck you bro

they have and they will

hopefully they never take away the way you can drag the little post icons around the screen on the android app

iPhone user WISH they had this

everyone on android mobile stopped to do this after seeing the gif

posts that remind you to play with your balls(Android users only)

remember when you used to be able to play snake with the… hold on what’s it called

hmm. don’t think i’ll be calling it that. anyways i was gonna say remember when you could play snake with the buffering circle on youtube but. now i have other concerns

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.

Percy “Has Been Waiting to Use This Meme as an Excuse” Jackson, and Annabeth “Never Seen a Meme” Chase

halsin the barbearian

keep seeing Temu ads on here so just to share cause idk if people are widely aware

I hope this email just barely grazes your cheek

I hope this email gets stopped by the bible you keep in your breast pocket

I hope this email lands in your foxhole but doesn't go off

it literally drives me insane that so many companies refuse to send rejection emails like it’s disgraceful tbh. you put so much time and effort into putting together an application and they can’t even be bothered tell you via some measly automated message that you didn’t get the job. you’re expected to just infer

I've seen posts going around claiming that petting animals is basically tricking them into thinking they're being groomed, and it's bugging me because, like, there's no trickery afoot. Petting and scritching are grooming activities. They help to dislodge loose fur and foreign objects and more evenly distribute protective oils, among other things. Primates are social groomers, and the human impulse to scritch is the legacy of our primate ancestors. We see an animal we like, even a dangerous one, and the monkey brain says "groom that thing".

Sucking a guy's dick is basically tricking him into thinking he's having sex

derin why

I'm helping

i don’t get hyped for games anymore i just watch an announcement trailer and think “huh neat” then forget about the game until i see a youtube vid about it 2 years later with WHAT WENT WRONG?😱 overlaid on the thumbnail