I gotta actually upload art and shit but I’ve moved here! Got tired of the old one being a side blog and the tumblr purge ripped out so much art ;; I won’t be deleting anything but all new art will be going here!!!!

Just thinking about an overdue doctor waddling down the maternity ward, their macrosomic baby hanging lower and lower with each step they takes, their scrubs straining to cover thier impressive bump.

i threw some ocs at this concept but it reminded me so much of jack's first pregnancy and labor... everything is SO NEW at this institute, and he's SO big, and audrey is so nervous...

im like the guy in the infomercials they depict in black and white doing everything inefficiently and having a thousand tupperware containers fall on me when i open the cupboard

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought "why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff," so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It's alright if you can't because apparently I fuckin couldn't either

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don't need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let's say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

My friends: ew mpreg that's gross

Me, a man who can get pregnant:

tfw your thesis is due in a week but your triplets were due a month ago

First drawing

ovulating all by yourself, handsome?

cant stop thinking about a cute young first-time pregnant dad being mentored by a very experienced thicc round dilf whos been pregnant back to back for years

Knock Him Up November

rly wanna be pregnant with something dangerous/scary right now — like, something where bc of what they are or how they gestate i’m legitimately unsure if i’ll make it out of the pregnancy.

maybe just cause of how it makes my body feel: like i can’t catch up, always strained too far and then a bit farther. maybe just cause i don’t have any knowledge about what i’m carrying, no way to tell if my experience is normal or not, no way to tell if the symptoms and growth rate are typical, no way to know how long i can expect to be pregnant. maybe cause i *do* have some knowledge and i know that this species gets terrifyingly huge or is very parasitic or typically is delivered via bursting.

just want something to take over my body with no regard for me as its host and absolutely wreck me

struggling is so hot like YES please i want to have so many babies in me that it takes a few tries to sit up. yes i want to get slower and waddle around. what do you mean i'm only 4 months in...?

I want this, kidnapped by a cult, forced to undergo a ritual and watch my belly swell with life.

Knowing that soon contractions will begin and as they do my legs will be forced open ain preperation for pushing.

I'm going to made to birth some unholy spawn.

House M.D. (2004-2012) I 4.12 - Don't Ever Change