as always l The Oatmeal l ⬇txt-edited

I resent the inevitable consequences the second law of thermodynamics has on my tea and the entropy of the universe. It always happens too damn soon.

The hell do you mean “use a tea light” you’re telling me those things can be used to heat tea???

Fam I’ve been lied to and deceived

Wait please what are you being told, this has raised many questions about tea lights for me.

Apparently the way you’re supposed to use tea lights is like this

Which no one ever told me is possible or exists and might now become my villain origin story after suffering years of cold tea

I'm sorry they're what

They heat tea. They heat tea because they’re tea lights. They’re named that way because they’re literally devices to keep your tea warm and somehow no one has ever told me this and they’re tea lights to heat tea and I might just—[CENSORED]

I’m glad we’re all having a normal one today folks

Happy Friday all! I'm off to see some GO fandom friends today and I'm still recovering from seeing Michael Sheen shake his ass in Nye. Anyway, hope you enjoy these hot off the press memes 😄

Previous meme dump!

i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

My show is being rebooted. We have better executives now.

When I was in the hospital, they gave me a big bracelet that said ALLERGY, but like. I'm allergic to bees. Were they going to prescribe me bees in there.

So there's a medication called hyaluronidase. It's used to make other medications absorb better, because it makes the cell wall more permeable.

One common usage is to make local anesthetic more effective during surgery, for instance. It's used in a number of injected medications.

Bee stings contain an enzyme very similar to this medication, so sometimes, people with bee allergies have an allergic reaction to hyaluronidase.

This is called cross-reactivity, where your body mistakes something for the thing it's actually allergic to, and has an allergic reaction anyway. For instance, sometimes people with latex allergies also are allergic to bananas and other fruits. They don't actually contain latex, but there are some similar proteins.

Apparently, hyraluronidase used in humans is derived from one of four sources: sheep testicles, cow testicles, cow testicles again, and GMO hamster ovaries.

tl;dr: They won't inject you with bees, but they might inject you with purified cow testicle juice, and your body might say 'eh, cow balls are BASICALLY bees' and try to kill you anyway.

The world is full of such beauty and wonder. Thank you for that sentence.

this is a callout post about the people in the Fiber Hell Discord

Their crimes; made me start watching Supernatural in the year of 2024

Me every single episode; what the FUCK

Ah, that explains the new side story.

This is how they got me.

I mentioned it would be fun to do like, a vacation fic, and the evil fuckers all went :)))))) Do you know what would be funny??? Do you know where it would be really funny to set a vacation?? There's a couple of Sad Boys who could use some adoptive parents and some shitty parents who could use some strangling!

Now I'm sitting here on season 4 like WHAT in the FUCK is GOING ON

Me; DEAN DIED???

Discord; okay which time

Me; .....WTF DO YOU MEAN WHICH TIME

Ooh boy...how far are you now?

The weird angel dude who gives me news on Tumblr just showed up

Hello I'm back on this bullshit and WHY are these seals on hell so fuckin breakable like wtf God fix your shit

I do love that the boys support themselves at least in part by hustling the shit out of pool in shitty bars.

COULD YOU TWO IDIOTS ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER JESUS CHRIST

DO THESE FUCKING IDIOTS EVER GO TO THE ACTUAL DOCTOR I'M

having adhd makes all of your thoughts feel like a 7-way venn diagram

and explaining anything like this

adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”

frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive

its mermay or something like that