Assbutt Chronicles

The type of parents who argue that simply putting food on the table and keeping a roof over their kids' head is sufficient parenting are always so shocked when their children no longer want to deal with them once they've got their own place and can buy their own groceries. Like what else did you expect to happen? You told the people who had no other choice than rely on you for food and shelter that asking for any more than that is unreasonable of them, and then they don't go to you for anything once they can get those some other way. What would they go to their parents for?

They've got food at the house.

Pictures like this were everywhere back in my day but now theyre all gone

do you think, for a potato chip, being dipped in an onion-based condiment is like seeing an old friend for the first time in years, both of you fundamentally changed and soon destined to die but nonetheless still here in this moment?

I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes

“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”

and friend got kinda mad at me lmao

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

my new hobby is making fake alcoholic drinks out of jello

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

double checking the pdf im about to send to make sure the invoice i just scanned didn't magically turn into a full frontal nude image

Social anxiety has me thinking dumb stuff like “if I go in this store when they’re closing in an hour the employees will hate me and want to kill me” which is especially dumb to think bc I worked retail before, it’s only like the last 20 minute that they want to kill you

Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

The reason the establishment is so terrified of Aaron Bushnell's protest, is because they understand a point many of you seem to have missed

Aaron wasn't sending a message to the government (we know they don't care)

No, I think Aaron's message was meant for other service people like him. Because if the military refuses to participate in the genocide, it's over

And if you thought YOU were moved by Aaron's actions...

imagine how Aaron's unit is feeling right now

Mutinies have started for less

The exact moment every protest turns into a revolution, is when the army refuses to defend the establishment any longer.

And THAT was the message Aaron was sending out. How many units now are ready to reject orders? How low does their morale have to sink before they say 'enough!' How long until they stop pointing guns at the protestors outside, and run over and join them instead?

This is dangerous territory for a government that is hellbent on ignoring every crisis it creates

when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance

this post keeps breaching containment so IMPORTANT CONTEXT. it is HER living out the wattpad fantasy because she got shotgun married and is currently very happy with her honestly very attractive mafia husband. she was neo riche BUT deeply hated by her mother beforehand. it was kind of an arranged marriage situation to begin with so it’s ALMOST like being sold to the mafia if u squint at it from really far away. she also has blonde hair blue eyes and a penchant for messy buns. i on the other hand did infact confess my love to her at age 14 in a public pool and she did subsequently accuse me of faking being bisexual for instagram likes because of it. also i am a man now. she is unaware of this due to the fact that she hates me because she thinks i shit talk her behind her back. which i do. anyways. point is the house always wins. she won. she has the mafioso boyfriend and has happily escaped her abusive mother and now owns three teslas and several properties in puerto rico. i am not the protagonist of this story.

aaron bushnell knew exactly what he was doing. he states his intentions with total lucidity and sense of purpose. he knows what he's about to do is extreme--he says so. he speaks calmly, but he's clearly terrified. he takes a deep breath after pouring the accelerant over himself. he has to psyche himself up to light the flame. he struggles with the lighter. he says "free palestine" normally once before he starts to scream it. even through his agony he manages to say it one last time before he stops being able to speak at all. this is a man with total conviction. he wanted to help people, in any way possible. this action was a moral one, and any news outlet painting this as simply a mental health issue is a disservice to his memory. he knew what he was doing when he burned himself in uniform. he knew that there was a chance that sacrificing his own life could go on to save many others. this was the ultimate act of selflessness, and it should be treated as such. may he rest in peace.

So I found Aaron Bushnell's reddit and went through his comments/posts. That young man was well read and stable as they can be. Nothing in his writings pointed to someone who was "unstable" or "brainwashed".

He held leftist and anarchist ideals. He belong to the ACAB subreddit. He recognized the evil of the US Military even though he himself was a part of it. He hated TERFS and called out fatphobia. He understood the dangers of white supremecy and the evils of capitalism.

He had a cat. He liked the show fleabag and played elden ring.

Apparently in his will he wants to leave any money in his name to palestinian relief funds. He was trying to find a new owner for his cat.

Rest in peace Aaron Bushnell. The world won't forget & we sure as fuck won't let the media paint you out to be some crazy conspiracy theorist who had no idea what he was doing.