3 months later.

It's been 3 months since I lost you. I have a lifetime worth of memories and would sell my soul for a lifetime of more. The most random of things triggers the memories I have of us. I'll see places weve been and tell whoever is with me about it. The one thing that triggers me the most??

My dresser I still use today.

Always on my mind is the summer you practically spent every single day and night with me. We were in middle school. We would up all night and play monoply, do puzzles, paint our nails and listen to music. We had a crazy idea that because you were there everyday we would clear out my bottom drawer for your stuff. So we cleared out my dresser and wrote in fabric paint. "Natasha's stuff" were you stored your clothes.

Now fast forward were planning my wedding I still use this dresser the letter N has fallen off but the paint still shows it. You still store clothes in there. And we laugh about how it says "atashas stuff". And you make me promise that you can always have a drawer for you at my home I say of course.

Who knew a bottom drawer of dresser could hold so many memories. I miss you everyday. I love you Natasha.

Things to mark off my bucket list.

Seeing Chicago with my sister for the first time and tilting out of a 94th story window! It was sunny and snowy in the same weekend. I took the boat tour to see the sky line. And cried when I saw Chicago for the first time. Its a beautiful city. I knew Natasha was with me because her favorite number popped up everywhere. #27 April 26th-28th, 2019

The day my heart died.

My best friend Natasha died March 30th. She was was my best friend for 17 years. It was the worse pain i ever felt and i wouldnt wish it on my worse enemy. I miss her so damn much. I miss the nights where she would braid my hair, and i would do her makeup. I miss our endless talks and laughs. I miss our car rides where we would sing at the top at the top or our lungs without a care in the world. I miss driving to burnzone with her and when we were running late and i would sing "im in a hurry" by Alabama and she would laugh. I miss every monday after workout i would drag you to taco bell because we deserved it. Everyone around us thought we were the ultimate duo, the ultimate friendship goals. For 17 years she was my rock, my best friend, my sister, my other half, we got eachother through the good, the bad, the ugly, the best of times and the worst of times. Even when life dragged us down different paths we always came back to eachother and picked up where we left off. She is my best friend and no one will ever replace her. Before she died we had a bucket list of things we would do together. I plan to carry out all of them and a few of my own personal ones.

I hope i make her proud.