Cannibalism

destroy false idols

actually i love being a grown adult because i can stay up till 1am with work in a few hours and like. who is going to stop me. Myself? i have to laugh

will report back later on how this goes!

just found out about “star trek”. i think those kirk and spock guys are kind of homosexual. i wonder if anyone else has ever thought that

no youre the only one

okay sorry

hate whenever mfs in horror media are like “what was that noise…” bro you and i both know its creatures

it's barbin' time

Getting along with kids is easy. All you have to do is speak to them like an adult except with less swear words and pretend you don't know much about Smash until it's too late for them.

*taking out the trash at night* what if there was a monster. lol *walking faster*

men will make a reddit post saying their gf is weird and then describe the coolest woman imaginable

i just bought a velvet-flocked statuette of a crow wearing three delicate strands of pearls and the very gay salesperson took one look and said, "oh, i'm glad you're buying her. i love her. what's her story? where's she going? what are her plans?"

SHE!!!!

{this user wants you to toss them their keys}

{This user thought you said printer}

update

Just saw someone on campus stop the person ahead of me to ask for directions and this poor man just looks at the student's phone and goes "I don't know how to tell you this... you're on the wrong campus. You're in the wrong city."