- f.k.q

THIS IS MY LAST STRAW

Shut up and dance with the gays!

"Ava? Isn't it your day off today?"

"Can't I drop by to say hi, boss?"

Janenella for Mega Entertainment March 2023

still hopeless

The new hollywood sign is great. 

today is the right day to reblog this

After the fight

Michael :)

Thanks to a pair of a bionic gloves, this 80-year-old classical pianist can finally play the piano again. The maestro, João Carlos Martins, had lost dexterity in his hands due to aging and health complications. His face at being able to play piano again says it all. 🎶

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Sometimes the future is pretty cool, actually.

Bro he’s so happy he’s crying and that’s making me cry he gets to play piano again after so long I

João Carlos Martins isn’t just any pianist, he’s one of the best pianists alive today. The dude has been playing piano for over 70 years (his career started when he was 11, but by the time he was 8 he had already won a contest playing Bach), and out of those 70, 56 years he spent playing with some kind of disability in his hands.

By the time he was 20 years old, João Carlos had already been invited by Eleanor Roosevelt to play at the Carnegie Hall, played with the biggest north american orchestras, and recorded the entire work of Bach for the piano. At the height of his skills, he could play 21 notes per second.

In 1965, at 24 years old, he suffered an accident during a soccer match which ended up causing an injury on his right elbow, damaging his ulnar nerve and atrophying 3 of his fingers. This caused him to stop playing for a year, and to play with difficulty until his 30s.

After long periods of physical therapy, but still with much difficulty, he returned to the stages and was received several positive reviews and was acclaimed by the public. However, he ended up developing a work-related musculoskeletal disorder, which forced him to stop playing again.

This wasn’t enough to make him give up on his musical career, and even with atrophied fingers and paralyzed hands, he still managed to play and record all basically of Bach’s work from 1979 to 1985, still being wildly popular despite his difficulties.

However, the worst would come in 1995: at 55 years old, during a robbery in Bulgaria, João Carlos was struck in the head with an iron bar, resulting in neurological sequelae which paralyzed his right arm. After a lot of physical and neurological therapy, he managed to move his right hand again enough to play the piano with both hands, but due to a worsening of his condition, at 58, he started to develop troubles not only moving his hand, but also speaking, so he had to go through another surgery. It didn’t seem like he would recover much movement in his hand after surgery, however, so he used the short time he had before his hand atrophied completely to record one last CD with both hands.

In 2001, at 61, he recorded the album Piano Concerto for the Left Hand, written by Maurice Ravel for Paul Wittgenstein, an austrian pianist who lost his right arm during World War 1.

His intention was to record 8 albums using only his left hand, however, his left hand developed a disease called Dupuytren’s contracture, causing his fingers to become permanently bent and contracted, as well as causing pain. He went through another surgery, this time in his left hand, but it didn’t prevent him from losing movement in his left hand, causing him to have to abandon the piano, seemingly for good.

This still didn’t keep him away from music, and after learning to conduct from a friend of his, he became a conductor in 2003, at 63 years old. Due to his paralyzed fingers, João Carlos couldn’t actually hold the baton or even turn the pages in the score (at least not fast enough to not stall the music), however, so instead the maestro simpy memorized every score note by note. He memorized, on average, 5000 score pages. (Unfortunately, he started to develop dystonia on his left arm, causing it to twitch, which caused him to have to stop conducting for a while, but he came back shortly after and has been conducting ever since.)

He went through another brain surgery in 2012, to recover the movements in his left hand, but at this point it was so atrophied he hadn’t even opened it in 10 years. He still occasionally played the piano in important events, and he even played at the opening of the 2016 Summer Paralympics in Rio, but his playing was very slow and he could barely use his fingers, playing only a single note per second (compare with his 21 notes per seconds back when he was young).

(João Carlos Martins playing at an event in São Bernardo do Campo, 2013)

His bionic gloves were custom made by an industrial engineer, after said engineer saw him playing live and thought he could probably come up with something to help him. After he approached João Carlos to offer his help, the bionic gloves got ready just in time for him to play at the 466 anniversary of the city of São Paulo, in 2020, where João Carlos claimed “this is the first time in 22 years I place all 10 fingers in the keyboard”. Now, in 2021, he often posts videos of himself playing, and he always gets very emotional while doing so, and he is hardly seen without his new bionic gloves.

THIS is what technological advances are for. To enable us the soul fulfilling pleasures denied us by hardship. To make life easier and give us more time for happiness and pleasure.

Poor Grandma

this is seriously the one time I wish a video has sound.

Brilliant.

What the hell is this? :O

Me at 1000 years old

What do we say to the God of Death?

Not today.

I haven’t seen this post in YEARS so I forgot what it’s like. I nearly screamed.

Betty White when Death comes calling

Tried to find the original source (the vid description gives it… but are out of date or something)… Still, here it is, in full, with sound:

a) That is the creepiest Death I’ve ever seen in a moving format.

b) What the actual fuck did I just watch.

c) I’m always here for little old ladies curbstomping malevolent supernatural entities.

d) @pepperstrawberry is a HERO for finding and providing the full video.