I like to call my chickens “beasties” or “fat little monster trucks” and other such affectionate terms, but dad seems to take offence whenever I do and always gently refers to them as “the girls,” “the ladies” and sometimes “the dames” when he’s putting them away, like he’s a butler shepherding a group of well-bred country lasses into the parlour for tea 

this post evokes such a pleasing mental image that my depression was completely cured for 5 and a half minutes

I saw this on instagram today and I thought it was funny so I want y'all to see it too

it be like that

Nature is my home.

the most Fun john mulaney fact i’ve learned today is that he had the opportunity to audition for kevin from home alone but his parents said no. 

please take a moment to imagine 7 year old john mulaney as kevin mccallister

*dumps a bunch of toy cars at the bottom of the stairs* S C A T T E R

hey icarus bro wanna order some hot wings-oh my god im so fucking sorry dude

Anyways, last week I was getting soup and I fell in love with a boy who made eye contact with me while he was picking up a takeout order, and so now today I’m gonna go back at the same time and hopefully see him again

if he was gay and the connection between us wasn’t fake, he’ll be back too

only one more hour…!

you know what? love is fake and im never falling for a boy ever again

Somewhere… I Wanna Go There With You

Middle Fork Snoqualmie Trail / North Bend, WA

all human emotions can be found in either the mamma mia soundtrack or hozier’s album

Drake:

Literally what Rihanna did in response:

“That wasn’t Funny”

And for the moments the boys on set, with their silly crushes, became tiresome, Brown could turn to Winona Ryder. “I would just go to her like, ‘Ugh, the boys are getting on my nerves today!’ And she’d be like, ‘Got it — come sit.’ And we’d eat cheese.“

- Millie Bobby Brown for W Magazine (quote)

Rb if you wanna complain about men and eat cheese with Winona Ryder