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Aboard the HMS Jittermilk

@headless-horsepossum / headless-horsepossum.tumblr.com

Beau. 28. Trying His Best. Icon by @sweetheartblue.tumblr.com
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while i'm at it, responses to tags on the Post About Uncle Matt:

  1. as requested, i will tell him you all love him. (he lives on the other side of the country, but we video call him every week.) i think "lots of strangers on the internet love you" is a bit abstract for his understanding or interest, but i'll pass it along anyway.
  2. though actually i guess if you wanna show your love you can send me your coolest pictures of horses or dinosaurs, he'd be into that. only quadrupedal dinosaurs, though, he doesn't fuck with theropods.
  3. for the people who are Less Annoying about it: the cutting up of clothes has not been a common enough occurrence that you need to worry about waste. however to be clear, the reason this is good is because it means people are not pressuring him to wear things he doesn't like. "but other people could have worn those clothes :( :(" is a wack priority to have.
  4. to the person who asked if uncle matt would come stab their dad with scissors: he would never use scissors on a person, come on. with people he uses his teeth.
  5. To the person who said they initially read the post as beginning "my uncle is SO autistic" and they thought "how autistic is he" like the joke format. Please know that I think about that every single day
  6. I only barely know what fraggle rock is and didn't know there was an uncle matt in it so y'alls tags about that are. Extremely funny to me
#i also have an uncle matt#this is a post about uncle matt#maybe i will pin this#at least until i chicken out and delete number 4 lmao#actual message to that person: i'm sorry your dad sucks i'd come stab him for you if i could :(#i don't have uncle matt's strength of conviction (yet!) so i've never bitten anyone. (yet.)#anyway. message to all allistics you're always going on about how much Empathy you have. try extending it to autistic people sometime#This Is Not Normally My Vibe Lmao#I Am Salty Today. i'm not sorry except that i kind of am.#also to the Truly Wild number of people responding with i am giving you a firm handshake and a solemn nod#Our Uncle Now
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goatsandgangsters

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

  • url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant
  • url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 
  • url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order
  • url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 
  • url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now
  • url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc
  • url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 
  • url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

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mylittleredgirl

the archive/tagged trick is a lifesaver!!

a caveat on op’s caveat is that if your blog/the blog you want to search is older than [whenever they forced everybody into the tumblr.com/user change], most of these tricks will still work whether or not they have enabled “custom theme.”

tumblr works it’s just a closely guarded secret

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dduane

OMG useful.

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elodieunderglass

Note that this only works if you tag things. I only reliably tag horrible things with legs. With other posts I often don’t tag, or don’t think about tagging it with what people will remember most about it and search for later. 

However, I do love what happens as a result.

Want to find my original Elder Teletubbies post? The original isn’t tagged anything helpful, so tumblr can’t find it, but if I put “elder Teletubbies” in a search engine… there’s a whole world of content that doesn’t reach me, including a guy who sells plushies and t-shirts based on my post, and a YouTube video with 648k views thinking that guy invented it. Like picking up something you dropped in the garden to find the woodlice underneath have claimed it for their own and formed a religion around it. And also the original post.

Want to find the comic where I draw myself as a swan thanking the concept of jealousy? Surprisingly difficult unless I sometimes remember that I probably tagged it “a swan in a Santa hat.” (The swan in the comic is not wearing a Santa hat.) tumblr search can’t find this post again but upon googling “elodieunderglass jealousy” we find it referenced in a self-help book.

Wanted to find an ask meme I didn’t write myself and wouldn’t have tagged? Googling it randomly led me to discover that my one of my answers to the ask meme was quoted and used as the title of a scientific paper about dating (awesome, you’re doing great besties.)

Tumblr cannot find my moby dick rewriting, even though I know personally that the op was tagged (reasonably) #Mody bick. Through search engines we find the post, and also incidentally learn that the people who reposted it on boingboing were disgusted by the transparency of this marketing ploy (apparently the 1800s out-of-copyright whale novel market is reaching.)

So no, you can’t find any post on tumblr like this. No it isn’t easy. No it isn’t literally any post. No, no, don’t correct me. I like it like this. It’s absurd

#reference
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