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The Cellar Door

@donotdialnine / donotdialnine.tumblr.com

"It said 'do not dial nine'. So I dialled nine." - Louis Tomlinson Patri, 26, sometimes I write fics
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eeveedel

ranking 1D members by if I would want to overthrow the government with them

Harry: 1/10. Absolutely useless. “Let’s treat everyone with kindness!” he would say. Grow up, kid. He’s probably a narc

Louis: 200/10. If Louis was in charge not only would the corrupt system would be over yesterday, a utopia would be in order. Also I think he would want to egg and/or TP everyone government building, which is just plain fun

Niall: 10/10. He somehow ends every corrupt official with one quip. “But who will pay for the snowflakes’ free health care!” the politicians scream. “You, Sherlock Holmes” Niall says. They run off crying. The evil is defeated, and Niall plays an acoustic cover shirtless on their graves

Liam: 6/10. Willing to do heavy lifting. Smiley and helpful but keeps asking if this is a good idea. Yes, Liam, it’s a good idea. 

Zayn: 200/10. Exact same reasons as Louis. Tbh the Illuminati staged the zouis fight because they knew together they were too powerful

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The Tommo Way: He said 3 but I actually have 4 in a sandwich. I think it’s perfect so we’ll do it my way.

🚫: I would normally put some foil on here but we ran out just today. So this is what we’re working with. 

🥒: I can do this. Just dig in? How’d you do it? I’m blaming me tool. There we go! That looks half right. Obviously you want to have a bit more in there. But as you saw from my execution that was not…not really the best. 

🍞: Now also I will say, I use a lot of butter. As you can see, I don’t have a lot of cooking ability. So the more butter, the better.

🍅: How do you slice tomatoes? I’m trying to think about it. How do you slice these?

🚑: This is ending up a proper car crash. I’m ruining it already and it’s not even out of the oven. Oh dear!

🔪: Yeah, there’s a theme. Chopping, peeling, slicing not great to be fair. Everything else, I’m alright.

⚠️: I’m all about flavor. Presentation for me is secondary.

🥪: A few tomatoes. The only ones that I did alright. That’s a beefy one that though. […] It’s starting to make a bit more sense as it all comes together. 

✅: I’m not going to lie. It doesn’t look that appetizing does it? When you look at it. It probably tastes nice though. As I said, it’s not about the presentation for me. 

🔥: It’s actually pretty banging! It’s actually quite nice! 

📝: So all I’d say is follow the recipe a little bit closer than I did. […] Again, if you do want to get healthier with it, it’s just normally better not to have taken a bite out in your sandwich before you bop it in. But it doesn’t really matter. I’m not really a man for cucumber but I’ll give it a go! Bit of crunch. 

💯: Yeah, I’m happy with that!

My favorite quotes from Full Time Meals Fish Finger Butty, 6.14.21 

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