Here is my Art Summary of 2022๏ผโจ
โLetโs have more wonderful and fun times in 2022๏ผโ
Thatโs exactly what I said in last yearโs art summaryโฆ
Wellโฆ my brain doesnโt forget things easily, especially things Iโve experienced. I remember almost everything/everyday about this whole year. So when I think about 2022, I suddenly start crying โฆidk why (this is also one of the reasons why this yearโs art summary is a bit late) thatโs why it took me time to try to write something without crying.
Okayโฆ Since I love the numbers 2 or 22, I had high hopes for this year. Yes I also believe in lucky numbers like good/bad wishes. Or, I used to believeโฆ yes โcause i donโt believe anymore. Normally I canโt say sentences like โI believe or I donโt believe thisโ very easily. For me to lose faith in something, i have to be seriously disappointed by it. And now, thatโs probably not the right word for my true feelings but, 2022 really disappointed me๏ผ
Especially after March, I felt like i was buried aliveโฆ
I lost my faith, i lost my hope, i lost my job for a period, i lost my cat, I lost a loved one of my relatives. I remember nights when I had crying spells saying โenough is enough, i canโt take it anymoreโ. Many times I wanted to erase everything and disappearโฆ yes I also knew it was weakness, cowardice โฆโฆbut maybe i was just afraid. I was afraid of losing myself, i was afraid of losing my mindโฆ A lot of people donโt like to read/listen to negative thoughts so i keep my feelings inside anymore (and Iโll probably even regret writing all this later) but just my heart is brokenโฆ and iโm still trying to heal it. But I also know that some wounds never heal, so just try to live with it, still and stillโฆ
Yesโฆ I know, nobody said the year would be easyโฆ but no one ever said it would be this hard. At least for me, it didnโt go well.
I really remember very few good moments for this yearโฆ so all thatโs left is some tears from my sideโฆโฆ
And now, let me thank you to anyone who has patiently read this far. Thank you so much for supporting my arts and even me too for another year๏ผDespite everything, Iโm still happy to finally be able to make an art summary where I fill all the months with a piece ^^๏ผYou guys (and some special ones) are one of the biggest reasons I can still walk. Iโm always grateful๏ผ