Wildly wooly and off the wall, totally unexpected

to be a tumblr, ie one who tumbles, is to tumb repeatedly

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

reblog to give a mutual a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars in cash

Conjecture:

Has too big a mortgage. Keeps his desk cleared. Parks his BMW sideways on the top level of the parking garage. Idolizes Bert “The Machine” Kreischer and secretly wants to rip his own shirt off, down some vodka, and yell.

And 2 hours later I need to change

looks at you

looks at you

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

ok.

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

These also

Watching the reactions to Roger Corman's death and it seems hard to explain who he was to people who don't know him. "So he was a producer of shitty b-movies?" Yes! And he's responsible for the careers of dozens of directors, actors, and other filmmakers and is pretty inarguably one of the single most important people in modern film. By making shitty b-movies

In a time where studios micromanage everything filmmakers do (and that started all the way back in the 80s - the early to mid 70s were more an oasis from the norm than the norm in terms of freedom) it's amazing to remember that there was a guy who went "here's some money to make a movie. Don't go over it, make sure you include the quota of violence and sex, otherwise go nuts", and also the guy he was saying that to was like, Martin Scorsese

So we wouldn’t have had Goncharov without this man? Quite a loss, then.

this is for a part-time job as a barista

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?

If minimum wage

you’d like to make, This ancient

quiz you’ll have to take.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Question 5: Can you pass a drug test?

(Do they drug test senators? Judges? Billionaire CEOs? Police?)

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.

Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.

wow. really hope this isn't actually a norm taking hold with new users! this isn't facebook, you don't need to know people before following them

this is the '10 year mutuals you've never spoken to once' site

Does anyone else like to stop knitting and rub the fabric they've made between their fingers, or am I just weird?

After raising the price of COVID-19 vaccines more than four-fold this year, Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla told investors Monday that the company will also likely hike the price of its lifesaving COVID-19 antiviral treatment, Paxlovid, raising further concern about access and healthcare costs.

Remember when everyone on earth started shitting on Martin Shkreli for cranking up the price of AIDS medicine? Time to do the same for Albert Bourla. Everyone needs to know his name, and everyone needs to virulently and vocally hate his goddamn guts.

Conjecture:

The kind of boss you love to work for. Owns 4 vintage motorcycles and rides them to work. Acts like his wife is the most amazing woman on earth. Has a messy house with 4 rowdy kids that he actually knows things about. Sleeps like a log at night.

Conjecture:

Good sense of humor. Surprisingly cutthroat in business. Spends weekend nights playing saxophone at a jazz club. Madly in love with his husband.

Conjecture:

Nice guy. Hates his job. Loves to garden. Coaches Little League and takes his sons to the park. Brags on his wife’s cooking. Holds weekend barbecues. Drinks beer on the patio.