(ᵃᵖ) I'm not a sidekick.

@nxtasidekick-a / nxtasidekick-a.tumblr.com

Indie Claire Temple from the Marvel/Netflix shows. OC, crossover, multi friendly. Selective and private.
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This blog has been archived. You can find Claire Temple over HERE. All threads will be dropped since I need a fresh start, but plots we had over here can be moved and picked up back again over there.
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He shied from her hand, putting his own over his face. “I know for a fact that it didn’t leave a scar.” How long had he spent in the mirror afterwards making sure that it didn’t? That was a story he didn’t want to have to relay to people. When it healed, he triple checked and remembered sighing in relief that he had gotten lucky. “It’s teeth were especially vicious. Wasn’t there a study that said the smaller the dog, the more angry they are? You’re welcome.” 
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CLAIRE laughed, as her eyes looked at him.  Thank you, thank you. What would I do without my brave and strong cop protecting me from small-ass dogs?  The sarcasm made her laugh even more.  C’mon, I’ll get you coffee. I owe you my life, it’s the least I could do.  

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She’s agreeing that it is what it is, but he’s paranoid, blame the lack of eyesight. It was nothing against her personally, but he doubted Claire would see it that way. 
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He can tell she’s watching him and he licks his lips, tasting blood a moment, sighing slightly as she calls him Mike. She’s annoyed with him, which is fair but, he’s not sure she actually understands. In compromise he swallows the pill, drinking the glass of water until it’s about half full.  “Claire, it….It’s not like that. It hasn’t nothing to do with you. But you have to understand, I can’t see. Anything given to me could be poison and I would never see it coming.  Call it paranoia…” There’s a sigh and he looks away, fingers rubbing across cool glass. “You know I trust you.” 

MATT looked weaker than usual. That’s Claire’s first thought as he tried to explain himself. I am probably the only person in this city right now that doesn’t want you dead, Matt.  She whispered. She knew that was more than enough for him to hear her.  You have to trust me a little bit better.  

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The nurse stood up and went to the kitchen. She grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened it before going back to the couch. No, she didn’t usually drink -- but she was too tired.  There’s nothing I can do to help you with that paranoia, Matt. I’m always been there to stitch you up. I can’t do anything else.  

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People can have things going on in their lives that you don’t know about. Or maybe they’re queueing things, which is what I do. I understand self esteem issues are hard but there’s only so much to be done. At this point, if you’re finding it hard to enjoy yourself and be empathetic, then I’d suggest maybe unfollowing people and trying to find new partners that are more your speed.

The thing is that, as I said, it’s not the first time this has happened. I’ve been having these thoughts for years now, and it didn’t matter if I found new partners or did different blogs (that’s where the self esteem issues come from, I think). I just have to suck it and wait.

I just wanted to vent, I never intended to make anyone feel bad or anything, so I’m not gonna post about this anymore, for my sake and my followers’ sakes too. 

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Anonymous asked:

I know this might sound shitty but waiting 10 days for a reply is kinda normal. Esp towards the end of the year with finals, work, family and holidays. Many ppl queue replies so only 1-3 post a day, some wait till everything's written before posted. I know I've gone 2 months b4 replying to a thread bc life got crazy. Tbh ppl are busy beyond the holiday window. Sometimes ppl take a while to reply or don't reply at all. It's understandable to be upset, but you gotta remember real life comes 1st

I totally understand that life comes first– I’ve been the first to not reply to threads because they were months old. The problem for me comes when it’s ALWAYS. 

Before my ‘hiatus’ period a couple of months ago, there were replies that I had been waiting for for over two months. I never got them. I understand that now, with the holidays, people go to visit family members or go on trips or whatever.

Had it been only NOW that it had happened, I wouldn’t be half as bothered. But it is a recurring thing with me, especially on this blog (though I’ve had that on prior blogs as well). 

I don’t have very good self esteem, I usually get left behind by friends too, and seeing this happening again here just makes me think there may be something wrong with me? I just *shrug*

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