Avatar

Just some bees...

@thekrustyhotdog / thekrustyhotdog.tumblr.com

I'm Aaron. Im 20, a pun master, and I want to fight. Please dont be afraid to message me, ask me to tag, tag me on things, or drop anons in my inbox. Im friendly as all hell. They/Them
Avatar
reblogged

not to be a complete homosexual but,,

farmers markets...with your boyfriend....on a saturday morning.... walking around holding hands, buying flowers and fresh fruits and vegetables. Kissing while we’re in line to get coffee. Later in the day, having a picnic in the park made from our fresh goodies., just a thought tho hahaha...unless...

Some of us are ugly and can’t relate, but I appreciate the sentiment.

I ain't ugly, but affording a trip to a farmer's market is the real fantasy here

Avatar
Avatar
flatoatchi

Massachusetts is an SCP now and honestly they’re right

god i fucking love the scp foundation

oh and for those not in the know about SCP object classing:

Thaumiel is not a typical object class. Most SCPs are either Safe, Euclid, or Keter. A common misconception is that these describe how dangerous an object is, but that’s not it; object class is based on how easy they are to contain.

For example, a Safe object might be capable of causing apocalyptic damage, but if you put it in a box, it will stay in the box. (Though there are a lot of Safe SCPs that are genuinely harmless as well) 

Put a Euclid object in a box and it will usually sit in the box and not make active attempts to escape, but might escape incidentally, due to inherent unpredictability (for example, many sapient SCPs are classified as Euclid even if they’re normally friendly, just because they have free will) or just because the Foundation doesn’t understand it well enough to give it a true safe containment.

Keter objects will actively try to leave the box, and are typically malicious about it as well. Alternatively, they require so much time and energy to contain that it’s nigh-impossible to effectively contain, or are extremely poorly understood.

Thaumiel is special, because.. it is the box. It’s the object class that the Foundation uses for SCPs that are used to contain other SCPs

That being said: What the FUCK is Massachusetts protecting us from?

Avatar
Avatar
rooby

guys i found something revolutionary

it’s like the childhood holy grail you can get these 

 for 9 cents a piece

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

hey guyz guysz did you ever find yourself lost in the woods and lie. just. wish you brought 144 compasses?

you’ve given me access to the worst kind of power

ANYWAY if there’s one thing I learned from this site it’s that buying 144 plastic kazoos as a Christmas present for a ten year old is simultaneously the best and worst possible idea

Avatar

So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.

Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.

I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.

Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.

Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet

This is like a Scooby Doo bit I love it

Avatar
Avatar
txwitchery

Flying Devil Oil

… or as I prefer to call it, chiltepin oil. ‘Flying Devil Oil’ is likely a hoodoo term, co-opted by Wiccans and used in numerous commercial spell books. This is my recipe for an oil perfect for banishing, hex-breaking, and protection!

NOTE: Do not touch this oil with your bare hands or get it into your eyes. You can cook with it, but use sparingly– it’s spicy!

You will need:

  • one handful chiltepin peppers (C. annuum var. glabriusculum, a.k.a. chili pequin or bird’s eye peppers)
  • 33 black peppercorns, whole
  • olive oil
  • (optional: finely chopped ginger and/or garlic– especially if you plan to cook with it!)

Halve each of the tiny chiltepins, reserving the seeds in the peppers. Place the halved peppers and peppercorns (and other spices, if you’re using them) in a sturdy, heat-proof bowl.

Heat the olive oil to about 325 degrees Fahrenheit. When hot, pour the oil carefully over the peppers and spices in the bowl and stir with a wooden implement for about a minute. When room temperature, the mixture may be poured into a dark glass jar and kept refrigerated (up to a few months).

Avatar

The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

Avatar
aphony-cree

But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand 

Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*

Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*

This is a Greek comedy I could get behind 

What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn't drown. Then they'd have a sack that's invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.

Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield

Avatar
adspexi

thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys

Image

and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over. 

Avatar

some of you never accidentally had your boat break into three oak wood planks and two sticks upon hitting the shore just a little too fast and it shows

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.