closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
it’s women’s day which means we are supposed to kiss each other
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
hey lesbians you’re not a fake lesbian if you find some men to be conventionally attractive. you were most likely raised to know what an ‘attractive’ man looks like, and you probably still recognize it. seeing a man as attractive under societies rules of ‘attractive-ness’ doesn’t make you a fake lesbian.
crystalantiseptic
like seriously i’d appreciate it if people reblogged this more because a lot of young lesbians (including me) struggle with compulsive heterosexuality and being told they’re not real lesbians because “they’re attracted to a man!!!!”
you can find someone aesthetically pleasing without being sexually or romantically attracted to them
and also this applies to trans lesbians so terfs don’t reblog this ever
You can be a lesbian and still recognize a man as attractive/handsome.
You can be a gay man and still recognize a woman as attractive/beautiful.
you can be a heterosexual man and still recognize another man as attractive/handsome.
you can be a heterosexual woman and still recognize another woman as attractive/beautiful.
you can be straight or lgbt+ and still find the person of the gender you are not traditionally attracted to to be attractive/handsome/beautiful/whatever
I’ve long argued that there’s a difference between “finding someone attractive” and “being attracted to someone”.
The former is more an aesthetic comment. I can recognize that Harrison Ford is an attractive man, without actually being attracted to him.
It’s like he’s a magnet, but I’m gold. He may be attractive, but he doesn’t attract me.
yurilanegra
^^^ all of this
Also ace people are still ace if they can tell someone is attractive.
ALL OF THIS!!!
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Anonymous asked:
hi i need a little bit of advice ive been questioning my sexuality (again. like ive been for almost 4-5 yrs now but i definitely spent lots of time being sure that im a lesbian but through all this time i was very lonely and didnt get any experience so im still not sure) the thing is im not even mainly i think im solely attracted to gnc and butch women which sucks for the reason that i can't relate to most of what other lesbians say) plus i dont think ive ever experienced butterflies with a girl
(continued) ++like my crushes manifest in more like i want to be near her/touch her way not in a physical way?? this is making me doubt all of my attraction to women so much.. like i know i hate men and i dont want to date men but i feel like im forcing my attraction to women ? im scared abt it bc it's a really shitty thing to do but what if im just. lying and faking it
I don’t think you’re lying/faking it. If you were, you’d know for sure that you were lying. Sometimes it takes a little time to figure yourself out and sometimes you have doubts about who you are but it doesn't mean you’re lying. Personally I’ve also never felt the exact butterfly feelings and most of my signs that I like someone are similar to yours and changes in behavior when I’m around the person I like so don’t worry about all that, bc not everyone feels things the same way. If you think you like gnc or butch women, that’s fine lots of people have qualities that they are most attracted to. I don't think you’re faking it and i don’t think you’re forcing it💖
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
pinkfemme-deactivated20210608
important messages to lesbian/questioning lesbian kids and teens:
- not feeling attracted to boys is perfectly normal, do not push yourself to try to have crushes on them just because you see other girls doing so or you feel pressured by other people.
- there’s nothing disgusting about you, you’re not broken.
- lesbian is not a dirty word, it is a beautiful and meaningful identity with a deep and important history. you should feel proud to find out you’re one.
- it’s okay to have a crush on your girl friends. you’re not bad for that and you shouldn’t feel like you have to stop yourself from feeling this way. loving other girls is such an awesome thing. your love is pure and good.
- your worth is not based on whether you’re attracted to boys or not, even if for now it’s hard to believe it isn’t. you’re so valuable and so strong for being who you are, do not let anyone make you believe you’d be less if you identify as lesbian.
- there’s nothing wrong with experimenting new gender expressions that represent your lesbian identity. if you’re in a safe environment to explore how you present yourself, do it. there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
- if you struggle with gender, know that nonbinary lesbians have always been part of our community too! especially when you’re so young, adults most of the time try to force you into fitting gender expectations and it may be hard to explore your gender, but i’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you find out you’re also trans/nonbinary.
- do not let adults telling you you’re just a “tomboy” or “going through a tomboy phase and you’ll grow out of it” distance you from your lesbian identity. you can be a “tomboy” and a lesbian and there’s nothing wrong with that.
- liking typically “feminine” things does not mean you cannot be lesbian. even though it’s common that many lesbians were tomboys as kids, we absolutely can enjoy feminine things. i’m a lesbian myself who’s always been into all “girl’s box” stuff as a child.
- lesbophobia is really scary and i tell you to please always do anything to keep yourself safe. and even if now you feel hopeless, everything will get better and you’ll find people that understand you. you will, just like i did. just like so many older lesbians did. you have so much strength inside of you and you’re not alone.
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian
There’s nothing wrong with being a trans lesbian
There’s nothing wrong with being a nb lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with the word lesbian or with using it as a label.
There’s nothing wrong with being proud of being a lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time talking to other lesbians.
There’s nothing wrong with embracing lesbian culture and fashion.
There’s nothing wrong with being butch or femme or neither.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who loves sex and sexuality.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who loves romance and sappy gestures of affection.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who isn’t really looking for a relationship or sex or casual dating.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who has slept with or dated men.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who hasn’t dated anybody.
There’s nothing wrong with being a mentally ill lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who has survived trauma.
There’s nothing wrong with lesbians having their sexuality be a big part of their personality.
There’s nothing wrong with you for being who you are, I promise. <3
dykespreader
There’s nothing wrong with being a wheelchair-using lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian that uses a cane.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who uses a hearing aid.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian that is part of a service dog team.
There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian that needs a service animal.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian that uses mobility aids.
There’s nothing wrong with being a disabled lesbian.
You are not less butch for needing support. You are not less femme for supporting yourself. You are not less of a lesbian for being disabled in any way, shape, or form - you are someone to be proud of.
Anonymous asked:
Could you list some signs U knew or other wlw knew they were a lesbian? Like funny common indicators. Things likethinking it was easy to wait until marriage to have sex before you realized U didn’t want guys. Or only thinking guys are cute if your friends say it 1st. Every now&then I see posts like that &wonder what other things I do are secretly gay & I just don’t know it. I am still in the process of figuring it out and I saw those 2 examples and felt called out. In a good way lmao.Thanks :)
Part 2! Sorry. And do you know of any you know you are a Lesbian pages or anything with childhood signs that point to being a lesbian ? I read the comhet google doc too! I just can’t figure it out still thank you !
hello! i was just going to refer you to the comp het google doc because i feel like they have pretty much everything you would be looking for. here is another of our earlier reblogged posts that might also be helpful: https://closetedlesbianthoughts.tumblr.com/post/620872871684833280/how-i-recognized-comp-hetcoercive
for me personally, some sillier things i did when i was younger that i thought was just my personality but turned out to be my suppressed lesbianism include:
- i wanted to go on “friend dates” with people but like. they’d almost exclusively be girls. i just no-homo’ed myself by being like well i don’t actually have a crush on her :) it’s platonic :) i want to hang out with her and her alone :) in a friendly way :)
- thinking i was soooo damn special and “logical” bc i didn’t get stupid crushes on boys! then high school happened and i had it SO BAD for this one older girl i was friends with but thought it was just... a friend thing you know
- once i was watching some like circus/acrobats show with my friend and afterwards she told me i clapped more for the women performers than for the men. i felt so called out i was literally mortified LOL
- just ... not understanding at ALL what my friends saw in boys/ not being able to tell at all if a boy is attractive (which of course is subjective but some people are “conventionally attractive” but i couldn’t tell bc to me it was just like... he has a face, wow...)
- really fixating on (often slightly older) girls and thinking i wanted to be best friends with them, always wanting to get their attention, being absolutely over the MOON if i made them laugh or if they touched me, etc.
- being kind of hyper-vigilant about not looking at any of the other girls in the locker room, but if i did accidentally see something i’d think omg she has such nice boobs, i’m jealous. but was it really jealousy though?
- writing stories from a male perspective so i could write about falling in love with a girl without it being obviously a lesbian thing
- similarly, hating how YA books/movies with female protagonists always focused so much on mediocre male love interests and thinking it was bc i hated romance. turns out i just hate mediocre straight romances but mediocre wlw romances are fine!!!
- hating wearing feminine clothes or doing anything remotely associated with looking prettier bc i associated pretty clothes/things with getting male attention and i Hated being perceived in that light by boys
i hope this is what you’re looking for!! if any followers want to add stuff i would love to see what other things you all think of, so feel free to reply or add on!!
-mod hecate
Anonymous asked:
Hello! I came across this blog a long time ago when I was closeted, and it really helped me a lot. I just wanna say thanks bc having support (even if it’s online) really pulled me out of hard places and now I’m incredibly proud and happy with my lesbianism, I can’t imagine life any other way. The support you put out there matters, thank you.
hi dear! i’m so glad we were able to help in some small way! i also found wlw blogs like this one super comforting when i was struggling to figure myself out and accept myself in high school, so i’m glad to be able to return the favor <3 glad you’re doing well now!! stay proud and take care of yourself!! :)
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian
There’s nothing wrong with being a trans lesbian
There’s nothing wrong with being a nb lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with the word lesbian or with using it as a label.
There’s nothing wrong with being proud of being a lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time talking to other lesbians.
There’s nothing wrong with embracing lesbian culture and fashion.
There’s nothing wrong with being butch or femme or neither.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who loves sex and sexuality.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who loves romance and sappy gestures of affection.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who isn’t really looking for a relationship or sex or casual dating.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who has slept with or dated men.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who hasn’t dated anybody.
There’s nothing wrong with being a mentally ill lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who has survived trauma.
There’s nothing wrong with lesbians having their sexuality be a big part of their personality.
There’s nothing wrong with you for being who you are, I promise. <3
dykespreader
There’s nothing wrong with being a wheelchair-using lesbian.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian that uses a cane.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian who uses a hearing aid.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian that is part of a service dog team.
There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian that needs a service animal.
There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian that uses mobility aids.
There’s nothing wrong with being a disabled lesbian.
You are not less butch for needing support. You are not less femme for supporting yourself. You are not less of a lesbian for being disabled in any way, shape, or form - you are someone to be proud of.
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
smile, babe!
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
stonebutched-deactivated2020060
Butches are kind. Butches are warm-hearted. Butches are nice. Butches are gracious. The fact that the overall impression of butches is that we are cold and mean is absolutely untrue. Don't call me a "soft butch" for my kindness, for my hospitality, for my big heart. Call me a butch, because that's how we are. That's who we are.
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
happy pride 🥺🥺 here’s a piece from last summer ☀️
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
I know a lot of lesbians that used to identify as bi who worried that coming out as a lesbian would contribute to invalidating bisexuality in some way, by making it seem like a “stepping stone” to coming out as gay. I’ve also known bi women who identified as lesbians and changed their labels later, and worried that they were contributing to some kind of idea about how men can ~turn lesbians. I just wanted to say that it’s no individual lesbian or bi women’s responsibility to fix straight people’s perceptions of us. Like, it’s not your duty to serve as a political symbol! It’s your duty to find happiness even if that means changing ur label at some points.
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
more blm + pride icons I made
The recent onslaught of information about the murders of black folks has been a lot for me to process. I haven’t posted about it on here yet because I’ve been trying to limit my social media time to give my mind a break.
Black folks- there’s no need to force yourselves to view images of anti-black violence. We don’t need to be reminded because we never forgot. We live this everyday.
You can’t support the rest of the community if you don’t take care of yourself first.
closetedlesbianthoughts reblogged
People don’t tell you when you’re young that it’s not always easy to tell that you’re a lesbian.
For one thing, they always make it seem like lack of attraction will feel like obvious repulsion instead of apathy or discomfort. If the thought of dating or sleeping with men doesn’t make you queasy, then you can’t be a lesbian! You’re at least bi.
For another, womanhood is constant discomfort. When you’re dating a boy, are you uncomfortable because your clothes are uncomfortable? The makeup you’re wearing? Your constant negative feelings about your body? All 3? The way any of these things make him look at you? The pressure to have sex (regardless of it being with a man)? The pressure to not have sex (regardless of it being with a man)? The distinct feeling you’re not really being seen or listened to? Or are you uncomfortable because it’s a boy you’re dating? Or (likely) some combination of these? Will you even /recognize/ the discomfort when you’ve lived in it so long and when there’s the counter-feeling of being perceived as normal and socially acceptable which sometimes masks it?
Trying to pick apart what’s causing these feelings is so hard. Is it a real crush or did you just pick a boy to feel normal? Do you want /him/ to kiss you or just to have your first kiss?
Often the thing that frees us is loving women and recognizing how different it feels. But even that gets complicated! Internalized homophobia can make you feel shitty too.
So, if you’re a lesbian who used to date or sleep with men, you’re so normal. There’s such an intense pressure to be with men that it’s amazing any of us ever figured it out.
If you’re a trans lesbian congratulations! Reckoning with gender and figuring out if you’re a lesbian is doubly hard and something us cis lesbians will never fully comprehend.
If you’re questioning whether you might be a lesbian, listen to yourself and your body. See if you can distinguish between feeling good and feeling approved of; between the causes of discomfort. And, if you’re really lost but know in your heart of hearts you just wish you were a lesbian, you probably are. Embrace it. We love you just as you are.
Anonymous asked:
Am I actually a lesbian if I think lesbian relationships are better bc of breaking gender roles like housework, cooking etc? Also I find certain men's body parts gross, but still have idealised romantic thoughts about men. Looking back I've realised that I've had positive thoughts about womens bodies from a young age and freaked out when friends joked about me being with guys. At the time I put this down to me not wanting my female crush to think I had a crush on any of these guys? Please help x
being a lesbian is simply being a woman who only is romantically/sexually attracted to women. what you think about lesbian relationships doesn’t define whether you are a lesbian or not! however, it is true that same-sex relationships have been documented in numerous scientific studies to be much more even in terms of dividing housework than heterosexual partnerships, which is definitely one of the reasons why i am grateful to be a lesbian and not straight tbh.
i say this to every anon who asks, but it’s true - i cannot tell you if you should identify as a lesbian or not! that is completely up to you! that said, if you’re only really interested in dating women and are actively, in your own words, “freaked out” about the possibility of dating a man, it seems pretty likely that you might be a lesbian. it’s pretty common for lesbians to experience what’s known as compulsory heterosexuality (i just reblogged a post on that below!), where we feel we have to be attracted to men and actively force ourselves to try to like and please men despite having no innate desire to do so.
and like i told the last anon: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO LIKE OR DATE MEN. even if you think you might have a possible attraction to them, you are not obligated to act on that if you don’t want to! obviously it’s fine to experiment if that’s something that interests you, but you’re not required to prove to yourself that you like men or don’t like men by dating them. if you only want to date women or nonbinary people or don’t want to date anyone that’s completely fine!
good luck dear! :)
-mod hecate