Let Me Go

Thank you to @liilysoo​ and @alittledancer16​ who help me with this <3

member : Jin (BTS)

genre : angst

words count : 1065

I can’t make you love me,

want me, or understand me.

All I can do is hope that someday you will.

You should move, you should just get out of here. This didn’t feel right. You were wondering why you were still on this bed. Your place wasn’t beside him, you didn’t belong here. You knew it, It killed you but you came back everytime, blinded by your love for him. Blinded by your one side love for a man who didn’t want it.

He was next to you on the bed, his back facing you, hiding his face from your stare. You wanted to help him, to make him feel better but everytime that you came back in his appartment, you were the one getting hurt. Him, the one who was so talkative, didn’t say more than two sentences to you now. Him, who always had a smile on his face, was now always wearing a cold mask to hide his sad heart.

He didn’t look at you the way you wanted him to. You couldn’t find any hint of affection in his eyes. What were you to him ? Why did he still call you late at night asking you to come to his place ? Were you just nothing more than an object to him ? Was he always thinking of another woman while being with you ? Was she always in his mind ? Could anyone take your place beside him ?

Maybe he knew, you were the only one weak enough to accept to stay with him despite not being the first woman in his heart. Who could stay in a place full of pictures of another woman. It felt like she was still living here, he kept all her stuff. Seing his place, no one could have guessed that she died four years ago. You knew he was lost without her, she was the love of his life. You weren’t strong enough to beat that but it didn’t stop you to meet him.

You couldn’t leave him alone, you loved him too much and you felt so bad toward him. Everytime you saw Jin’s face or the pictures of her, you felt guilty, you thought she was dead because of you. It was a foolish idea and you knew that but you couldn’t stop yourself thinking that if you had never wished her death, she would still be here. She was all you wanted to be, a beautiful, nice, loved, woman. She had everything, a good personnality, lots of friends, a sucessful career and she had Jin. You hated her, you wanted her life, you wanted to be her. Thinking about it now, you just needed to have her boyfriend, him and only him. You couldn’t make a move because all you wanted was his happiness, and he was happy with her, they were made for each other, they were deep in love. You didn’t want to do anything that could have break their relationship, but you couldn’t stay away from him.

You buried your feelings inside of you and stayed as his friend. You were hurting yourself and you hated her so much. You were feeling more pathetic everyday. Soon you started to imagine life without her being here. It felt so good, so real, you even dreamed about it. But when your fantasy came alive, your life complety changed. During a whole year, Jin stayed at his place, going out only when it was necessary, not meeting anyone even you, it break your heart you wanted to see him, you needed to see him.

About a week after the first anniversary of her death, he called you asking you to meet him at his flat. When you got there, he didn’t say a word, he just grabbed you by your shoulders and kissed you. You could have resisted back then, but he was finally giving what you were waiting for all this years. Without anytime wasted all clothes were on the floor and he was pushing you on the bed.

Everything about that night was blur, all you could remember was that he kept his eyes closed during the whole night. Did he looked at you just once during the last three years ? You were sure, he was imagining her while being with you. This relation was toxic, but you always craved for more when you weren’t with him.

But after three years you were growing tired of this, you didn’t just desire him anymore, you needed more, you wished to feel love, to be special and he didn’t make you feel like that at all. You were just a replacement. You couldn’t accept this anymore, it was over. You quietly stood out of the bed, dressed up and went to the kitchen. You didn’t want to face him because you knew he had the power to make you stay. You grabbed a pen and a paper wanting to leave him a note :

                    “ I want you to know that I don’t regret any of the nights I spent with you. You were and you still are a person I deeply care about. That’s why I accepted to stay by your side everytime you wanted me to and that’s also why I decided to stop all of this now. I thought that maybe I could heal you but I realised that you will only be able to move on when I’ll be out of your life. I sincerely hope you’ll find the one who will make you feel better.                                                                                      - Your friend Y/N           ”

Until the end, you stayed as nothing more than a friend. You looked at his place one last time, you felt scared to leave but you knew it was for the best, you could finally move on. You went back to his bedroom’s door, he was sleeping without even noticing that you weren’t in the bed anymore. You were sad but you knew that you should leave.

<< I’ll miss you… >>

You knew that if you stayed longer you will regret your decision. You quickly went out of his flat, not seeing the single tear falling of Jin’s cheek.

10 questions tag

I was tag by @boymeetsfiction, thank you <3

Thank you to my friend Lulu aka @alittledancer16​, who replied to this questions while thinking of me, it’s an honor <3.

(just in case, everything she writed is a joke, I hope nobody would get offended by it <3)

1) Who is someone you look up to ? Nobody. ( Kim Taeyeon, I love this woman.)

2) A moment in life that made you happy ? The day I met Lulu.

3) The last song you listened to ? NO NOT TODAY/ Chong jojung BALSAAA

4) Song that makes any day better ? Every days are sad, deal with it. (Fire by Kim Taeyeon again, it’s not an happy song but her voice just make me feel better.)

5) A food you could eat right now ? Anything, for real. I’m . so . fucking . hungry.

6) Any goals that you want to achieve this year ? Stay alive. Beat depression.(thank you lulu for this wonderful answer)

7) What qualities do you first see in a person ? Wealth.

8) Favorite catch phrase ? Live, laugh, fuck off.

9) Favorite superhero and why ? Black Widow, cause she is swag.

10) How is it like being so beautiful and amazing ? Kinda hard everyday :(

I’ll tag : @godsavemefrombts and @kookie-bby <3

My questions for you :

1) If you had to pick just one song what would it be ?

2) What is your biggest fear ?

3) Favorite food ?

4) What flaws do you hate the most in a person ?

5) If you had to pick your best fanfiction/oneshot what would it be ?

6) Any goals for 2017 ?

7) What is your favorite korean drama ?

8) What qualities do you look for in a friend ?

9) If you could have one superpower what would it be ?

10) How did you become a kpop fan ?

Watching their crush doing aegyo on TV

RAP MONSTER

He would be watching you with Jin, a proud smile never leaving his lips :

<< Look at her, she is pretty, nice, she has a good voice, she is a good dancer AND she is cute ! >>

SUGA

He would be sitting with the other boys, so he would try to keep his poker face, but he wouldn’t be able to refrain a little smile.

J HOPE

He would find you super cute and would imitate during the whole day, making everyone else going crazy.

JIN

He would watch you in surprise and admiration :

<< Wahou… She is so pretty… >>

V

He would be so exited to see you doing aegyo, he would run around the house screaming about how cute you were.

JIMIN

He would smile widely with his both eyes closed, feeling a bit flustered to react like that to your aegyo.

JUNGKOOK

He would find you really cute of course but he would not be surprised (he actually has at least fifty gifs of you being cute on his phone).

(I do not own any of the gifs I used)

Broken Heart Medicine pt3

pt1 pt2

Thank you to my friend @liilysoo​ who is helping me and doesn’t complain about all the stories I’m telling her all day  

(P-S: really sorry for the mistakes in English I am still learning)

member : Jinyoung (got7) feat got7 and BTS.

genre : fluff angst

words count : 858

summary : After what seems like the worst break up of your life can he really help you to get over it ?

(the gif is not mine)

- Sweetheart…. seriously ?

- It suits you well don’t you think ?

         You went speechless, he was flirting with you despite that you just met each other. It just made you angry, you really hated people who flirt with everyone shamelessly and it was obvious, with the girls reactions when he entered the room and how easily he talked to you, that it wasn’t his first time flirting with someone. Seeing your expression, his smirk gradually faded. You were about to replied with anger when you heard someone callling your name. You turned your face to see Jackson waving at you.

- Come sit with me Y/N !

       You stood up and made you way to him without looking at Jimin. He was really surprised by your reaction, all th girls here loved him, you hurted his pride.

- Okay Park Jimin accept this challenge. I’m going to make you mine Y/N.

         Luckyly for you, Jackson and you shared all of your classes. You stayed together all day until your last class of the day. He went to sit with Jinyoung who gave you a little smile. You made your way to the teacher and introduced yourself saying that you were a new student :

- You came just in time Y/N, we are going to start a new group’s project.

You are going to be in groups of two persons, tell me when you know who you are working with.

         You exchanged looks with Jackson and Jinyoung, you were three, one of you will have to paired with someone else.

- Jimin, who are you going to work with ?

- I want to work with Y/N Miss, I want to make her feel good and relax since it’s her first day.

- Hum okay let’s do that, go sit with him Y/N.

   You stood up as every single girl in the class sended you a death glare. They all wanted to be paired with Park Jimin, one of the most popular and handsome guy in school and he just said that he wanted you. You sat next to him as he moved his stuff. Jinyoung was watching Jimin smirking at you. He wanted to stand up and hit him in the face. He knew Jimin’s reputation, he was a big flirt, he had a new girlfriend every week and was know to hooked up with a lot of different girls at the same time, he was a cheater. He wasn’t good enough for you. You were still sad because of your break up with Namjoon. You didn’t need to be played by him. But Jinyoung knew you, you had always fell in love with bad, liar and rude guys. Why couldn’t you see that Jinyoung was always here for you. When you fell of your bike when you were nine, when Yugyeom was making fun of you because of you new “perfect” hairstyle, which wasn’t that perfect on you, he was even here for you the first you were reject by a boy. So why, why couldn’t he just confess to you, he lied to himself, thinking that he couldn’t find the right time to do so, but he was scared, scared to lose you. He felt Jackson’s hand on his shoulder :

- Come on hyung, don’t make this kind of face. Nothing happened between them. You can still confess to her.

- It’s not the right moment Jackson, she didn’t move on of her relationship with Namjoon yet.

- You should help her moving on, and confess your six years love for her. It could be a good start.

         The boys were at the school’s gym all together. They were all taking a break exept Jinyoung. He was angry. Angry at you for spending all your time with Jimin for the last two weeks, angry at Jimin for being the one who stole you from him, and angry at himself for not being able to tell you his real feelings. He thought you fell for Jimin and it killed him. Once again he failed to gain your love.

     You didn’t wait anytime, to make things clear between Jimin and you. You were going to work and nothing else. If you thought, he was going overboard you will stop working with him. He tried flirting with you at first but soon understood that you were not interested in him at all. Beside that he was flirting with everyone, he was a funny guy and he wasn’t stupid at all. You worked without a rest together and you kind of neglected your friends a little bit but you wanted to finish this work the quicker you could. It took you two weeks to finish your project together. You said bye to Jimin and called Mark :

- Hey Mark, I just finished working with Jimin where are you and the boys ? Let’s eat together.

- Oh hey Y/N… You should come and meet us at the nurse office. Jinyoung hurted his hands.

Broken Heart Medicine pt2

Thank you to my friend @liilysoo who is helping me and doesn’t complain about all the stories I’m telling her all day   

(P-S: really sorry for the mistakes in English I am still learning)

member : Jinyoung (got7) feat got7 and BTS.

genre : fluff angst

words count : 740

summary : After what seems like the worst break up of your life can he really help you to get over it ?

(the gif is not mine)

           You didn’t expect this kind of reaction at all.

- You heard me right, I’m moving back.

          They all reacted differently. Jackson and Bambam started to jump and scream like they were crazy in the whole living room. Yugyeom, Youngjae and Mark were as happy but less expressive, they hugged you happily saying that you wouldn’t regret your choice. You watched Jinyoung smiling shyly at you, you thought that your relationship with Namjoon, didn’t affect just you but the people around you. Everyone, expected Jinyoung, didn’t change their behavior towards you, it was not really surprising, he was the most against your decision to move in with Namjoon, he was the one who tried the most to change your mind, he didn’t want you to leave. He had always been the most caring to you, almost like a brother.

          You turned to see Jaebum and your sister watching you with concern. They, abviously didn’t forget that five minutes ago you were a crying mess. Minyoung took you apart to talk with you :

- Did something happened with Namjoon ? Did you fight ?

- I’m not coming back to Seoul, I plan on continuing my studies here. What do you think ?

- Okay, I got it. You don’t want to talk about it.

          It felt nice being surrounded by all your childhood friends and your sister. It was peaceful. You had dinner with them and you were now watching a movie. You wanted to stay longer with them but you were starting to feel sleepy. Without thinking much about it you rested your head on Mark’s shoulder who just let you do it. He felt a stare on him and saw Jinyoung glaring at him. Mark chuckled but didn’t move away from you. After a couple minutes, you felt asleep, Jinyoung stood up and took you in his arms. His started making his way to your bedroom, ignoring all the whistles from the other boys. He putted you on the bed and checked if you were fully sleeping. He sat next to you, watching you peacefully sleeping. He suddenly kissed your hand and quietly said:

- I missed you Y/N.

          You woke up the next morning, on your bed still wearing yesterday’s clothes. You started changing and realised that you were still wearing Namjoon’s shirt. You watched yourself on the mirror, crying silently, thinking about how he ended a three years relationship so easily. You took it off and put it on your closet, you were not ready to throw it, not yet. After a quick shower you decided to go to see the university. It was 10AM, everyone were in class. You had a hard time to find the secretary room. When you got there you had to explain to her why you were here :

- So I was in a university in Seoul and I moved back yesterday and I would like to transfert here.

- What’s your speciality ?

- I was studying French and psycology back there.

- Okay, you’ll have to fill the inscription file, send it to us and we will contact you. It should be pretty quick you will normally receive your schedule in a few days.

          A week after that you were making your way to your first classe. You were a bit nervous so you quickly sat without saying much to others. Everyone suddenly stopped talking to look at a guy who just entered the class. Every girls start to whisper between them talking about him. He said hi to a few boys, flashed a smile to random girls in the crowd and sat next to you, without looking at you,  a sigh leaving his mouth like he just finished his duty. You began to observe him a little and understood why the girls were so ‘in love’ and impressed by him. He was cute, very cute actually. He must have feel your gaze on him because he looked up and met your eyes. A smirk appeared on his face when you quickly turned your face to avoid his stare.

- Hello there. You must be new here, I don’t know you and I never forget a beautiful face. What’s your name ?

- Hum… I’m Y/N.

- I’m Park Jimin, nice to meet you sweet heart.

Broken Heart Medicine pt1

So i’m trying a mini serie for the first time. The idea was in my mind for a little while and I finally got the inspiration to write it. Thank you to my friend @liilysoo who is helping me with it <3 I hope you’ll like it.

(P-S: really sorry for the mistakes in English I am still Learning)

member : Jinyoung (got7) feat got7 and BTS.

genre : fluff angst (maybe smut later)

words count : 819

summary : After what seems like the worst break up of your life can he really help you to get over it ?

(the gif is not mine shout out to the owner)

          Empty. You felt empty. You were here, on your seat with a blank expression wondering how you even got there. You made a quick decision, you couldn’t stay in the appartement you shared with your boyfriend, ex boyfriend actually. You took a train’s ticket to go back to your hometown. As your eyes drifted to the floor you remind yourself of what happened this morning.

          You woke up alone on the bed wandering where Namjoon was. So he didn’t came back last night… You put on one of his shirt and went in the kitchen when you heard the front door opening. You rush to see him but were greet with a moody Namjoon :

-Why are you wearing my shirt ?

- I don’t know… I just wore it… Why ?

- We need to talk Y/N…

          Your heart tighten in your chest. You heard this sentence a lot in tv shows and generally what happened next wasn’t very good for the one who heard this words.

- Okay Y/N listen I’m going to be very honest with you, I’m seeing someone else. It’s been quite a while actually, I swear to you the first time we hooked up wasn’t planned at all we were both drunk. I tried Y/N, I really tried to make it work between us and it’s not your fault Y/N, it’s me. I can’t deny my feelings any longer. I’m sorry, please try to understand Y/N… Y/N !

          You couldn’t take it any longer and rushed to your room, you locked the door and sat on your bed. You heard Namjoon on the other side of the wall :

- Please, let me in, we really need to talk about it !

          You heard Namjoon sight and move away from the room after your lack of answer. You dressed up and started packing your things as quick as you could. You searched a train’s ticket and you found one on a train which get off in just 1 hour. You looked at the bed one last time on your way out thinking that just couple hours ago you were peacefully sleeping on it complety clueless. You went out and saw him on the couch, he watched you with a sad expression when he saw your suitcases.

- You’ll send the rest of my stuffs to my sister’s place.

          You opened the front door but stopped when you realised he didn’t said the more important thing :

- Who ?

- I.. I’m sorry Y/N.

          You looked at your phone, still an hour to spend on the train. You suddenly thought that you should warn your sister that you were coming back.

          You payed the cab and thanked him for helping you with cases, and stepped into the house. You setted of the alarm, and felt a bit disapointed, she was at work. You realised that it was the first time that you were left alone since this morning. All of sudden you felt very angry and you kicked one of your suitcases who felt on the floor. And you finally let go of yourself, you sat on one of the kitchen’s chair and start crying. You were startled by a sudden hug from your older sister. You looked up to see her with a worry expression on her face.

- Are you okay ? Do you feel sick ? Are you hurt ?

          You shaked your head but didn’t answer her, you just holded her closer.

- Please Minyoung just let me stay like this a little bit longer.

          You heard noises behind her and you finally saw them, it was a bit weird actually, 7 guys, standing awkwardly on your livingroom, who didn’t know what to do after your sudden break down. Jaebum came to you the first, smiling warmly as amways. He patted your hair and said quietly :

- Its good to see you again Y/N. We missed you.

          You were so surprised, they were here, waiting to see you after all the years when you didn’t contact them. You felt guilty. When you fell in love with Namjoon, you moved in Seoul with him after only 4 months of relationship. And because your chilhood friends, were against it you gradually stopped talking to them. They said it will never last but you stayed together for 3 years. But he cheated on you with someone you wouldn’t expect during a long time so maybe they were right. You hugged all of them one by one. Your sister asked you :

- So how long will you stay with us Y/N ?

- Actually I’m moving back.

          Everyone looked at you with big eyes and started talking very loud at the same time.

- YOU WHAT ?!?!?!