Journals, articles, books & texts, on folklore, mythology, occult, and related -to- general anthropology, history, archaeology. 

Some good and/or interesting (or hokey) ‘examples’ included for most resources. tryin to organize & share stuff that was floating around onenote.

Journals (open access) – Folklore, Occult, etc

– History, Archaeology

Journals (limited free/sub/institution access)

Books, Texts, Images etc. – Folklore, Occult etc.

– History

Websites, Blogs – Folklore, Occult etc.

– History 

I’m sure I’ve reblogged this before, but there’s so much information here it’d be a crime to not reblog it again!

Aaron Sorkin’s Letter To His Daughter After Trump’s Victory

Sorkin Girls,

Well the world changed late last night in a way I couldn’t protect us from. That’s a terrible feeling for a father. I won’t sugarcoat it—this is truly horrible. It’s hardly the first time my candidate didn’t win (in fact it’s the sixth time) but it is the first time that a thoroughly incompetent pig with dangerous ideas, a serious psychiatric disorder, no knowledge of the world and no curiosity to learn has.

And it wasn’t just Donald Trump who won last night—it was his supporters too. The Klan won last night. White nationalists. Sexists, racists and buffoons. Angry young white men who think rap music and Cinco de Mayo are a threat to their way of life (or are the reason for their way of life) have been given cause to celebrate. Men who have no right to call themselves that and who think that women who aspire to more than looking hot are shrill, ugly, and otherwise worthy of our scorn rather than our admiration struck a blow for misogynistic shitheads everywhere. Hate was given hope. Abject dumbness was glamorized as being “the fresh voice of an outsider” who’s going to “shake things up.” (Did anyone bother to ask how? Is he going to re-arrange the chairs in the Roosevelt Room?) For the next four years, the President of the United States, the same office held by Washington and Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt, F.D.R., J.F.K. and Barack Obama, will be held by a man-boy who’ll spend his hours exacting Twitter vengeance against all who criticize him (and those numbers will be legion). We’ve embarrassed ourselves in front of our children and the world.

And the world took no time to react. The Dow futures dropped 7,000 points overnight. Economists are predicting a deep and prolonged recession. Our NATO allies are in a state of legitimate fear. And speaking of fear, Muslim-Americans, Mexican-Americans and African-Americans are shaking in their shoes. And we’d be right to note that many of Donald Trump’s fans are not fans of Jews. On the other hand, there is a party going on at ISIS headquarters. What wouldn’t we give to trade this small fraction of a man for Richard Nixon right now?

So what do we do?

First of all, we remember that we’re not alone. A hundred million people in America and a billion more around the world feel exactly the same way we do.

Second, we get out of bed. The Trumpsters want to see people like us (Jewish, “coastal elites,” educated, socially progressive, Hollywood…) sobbing and wailing and talking about moving to Canada. I won’t give them that and neither will you. Here’s what we’ll do…

…we’ll fucking fight. (Roxy, there’s a time for this kind of language and it’s now.) We’re not powerless and we’re not voiceless. We don’t have majorities in the House or Senate but we do have representatives there. It’s also good to remember that most members of Trump’s own party feel exactly the same way about him that we do. We make sure that the people we sent to Washington—including Kamala Harris—take our strength with them and never take a day off.

We get involved. We do what we can to fight injustice anywhere we see it—whether it’s writing a check or rolling up our sleeves. Our family is fairly insulated from the effects of a Trump presidency so we fight for the families that aren’t. We fight for a woman to keep her right to choose. We fight for the First Amendment and we fight mostly for equality—not for a guarantee of equal outcomes but for equal opportunities. We stand up.

America didn’t stop being America last night and we didn’t stop being Americans and here’s the thing about Americans: Our darkest days have always—always—been followed by our finest hours.

Roxy, I know my predictions have let you down in the past, but personally, I don’t think this guy can make it a year without committing an impeachable crime. If he does manage to be a douche nozzle without breaking the law for four years, we’ll make it through those four years. And three years from now we’ll fight like hell for our candidate and we’ll win and they’ll lose and this time they’ll lose for good. Honey, it’ll be your first vote.

The battle isn’t over, it’s just begun. Grandpa fought in World War II and when he came home this country handed him an opportunity to make a great life for his family. I will not hand his granddaughter a country shaped by hateful and stupid men. Your tears last night woke me up, and I’ll never go to sleep on you again.

Love,

Dad

please reblog this if you're a My Mad Fat Diary blog or even just a fan of the show. I'm really curious as to how many of us are on here.

Nothing

A/N: Takes place in season 3. I know, I like to pretend that season didn’t happen but this is my way of trying to rationalize some of it. This takes place after Finn calls Rae mental. It’s a couple days later and it’s AU-ish in the sense that this may progress into more chapters and erase much of the heartbreak from that painful season.

****

I can’t even be mad at Katie fucking Springer. Well, I can be but I fucked up. I fucked up long before Uni and Liam and sex. Long before some girl showed up at my apartment under the pretense of talking about Rae and ended up with her lips on mine. I fucked up that first summer, between Nan dying and the first day of college. Rae said she was better but I should have known. She’s always kept things to herself. Part of me knew she wasn’t going to just say everything. I may be crap with words but Rae’s good with them. She uses them to hide what she feels. That’s how the gang never picked up on her being ill. How all we saw was strong, funny Rae. Why we all rested our weight on her when she needed us. Cause we couldn’t see her hurting but I should have. I was her boyfriend but I was blind. I believe when she said she was better but I should have known.

Words always worked against us. Mine always falling short and hers running circles. Neither of us putting out full truths or we’d miss the mark whenever we tried. First time I told her I loved her, actually with my mouth, I waited till I was hidden under a fucking blanket between her thighs. I waited almost two bloody years after realizing I felt it to say it. Words weren’t our thing, music was. Music and heart break.

To the gang it looks like I broke Rae’s heart over and over again, and they’re right. I got with Olivia, fucked off to Leeds, then I kissed Katie and called Rae mental. They’re right. I fucked up royally but they don’t see how I’ve always been a few miles behind. How Rae was running before I even knew where the race was being held. I’m still reeling from finding out she lied about Uni. Finding out from everyone else that she got in when I thought she was choosing to move in with me. Rae was always destined for more than I could give her, more than Stamford, and more than a relationship based on secrets. I knew that and it hurt.

That’s why I broke up with her. I had let myself believe that she’ be happy settling for me. I could live in that ignorance until I learned she didn’t even want me to know she got in. I couldn’t be surprised but I was broken. As long as we’d been together and she couldn’t even be honest about something that important.

It’s been three days since I said that disgusting thing in the car park. Three days of going to the pub, one she and the gang wouldn’t be at, with the lads from work drinking until someone else carried me back to my Da’s. I couldn’t go back to the flat, the place we was supposed to be together. Just work and drinks, tears, and the daily calls to Rae’s. If Linda answers I hang up as soon as I hear her. If Rae answers I wait until she gets frustrated with the silence, let her hang up first. There should be words on my end. Begging, apologies, even just a hello but I got nothing.

At least my lips don’t. My throat as song lyrics and essays. Thousands upon thousands of words clotting and bouncing into each other with no spaces or periods. Just letters with no sense in them, none knowing which should come out first so they just sit. How do you apologize for that many fuck ups? For a whole two years of letting down the woman you love? If I even know where to start maybe I’d do more than just sit at a pub every night. Maybe I’d answer Chop and Archie’s calls. Maybe I’d be able to fix half of the shit.

Tonight I’m drinking more than normal. The lads from work are cheering me on, buying me more shots that go down like tea. Warms my throat, makes me think those letters will sort themselves out and become the words I need but instead all my tongue and lips come up with is “Rae.” So the lads buy me more shots, tell me I can do better, that I don’t need her. But they don’t get it. They don’t see the bruising. It’s there, behind my ribs. The skin of my heart is purple with the blood that forgot how to clot. It’s been seeping out since I found out about Bristol. But now it’s gushing, coming out quicker than the burn of liquor.

But I keep trying. Don’t even know how much liquor is in my veins when I hear my name. Actually hear it. Not a meaningless chant or cheer. Tucked behind the other voices is one laced with concern and questioning. My name being said as if the person sees me dancing on the edge of a roof, nervous that too much power behind their voice will push my body off.

I look up from my next shot and see Archie. He’s standing at the edge of our group, almost as if he’s afraid that if he gets too close he’ll get sucked in, like me. His eyes are scanning the scene before him, fingers pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. His shoulders are squared with false bravado, like he didn’t think this through. Like he had a plan but never took the time to consider all or any possible outcomes.

“Hey Arch!” the slur in my words even startles me. Every syllable multiplies and over lapping.

“What ya doin.’?” he asks with such a sadness in his voice that it hurts to hear it.

We both know he’s not asking about tonight or the shot I’m about to take. Not even asking about the ones I’ve already taken. He asks the same way I’ve been asking myself. He asks hoping I’ll finally know how to use my words.

The rest of the lads from work roll their eyes and scoff as if it’s obvious. They think I’m just any other lad drinking to forget any other lass. That this is the expected process a man goes through. They think they know.

“Chop’s outside.” he says with a nod.

Before I can even register the two words Archie is turning and leaving. He doesn’t expect me to follow. Doesn’t expect much from me anymore. No one does. I should feel relieved, glad that there’s no pressure. But I don’t. I feel like all I am now is Finn the fuck up. The one that let’s everyone down, even himself. Nan would be so proud. Watching me become everything she raised me not to be.

The thought should sober me but all it does is push me deeper into longing for Rae. Pushes me out of my seat and gets me jogging out of the pub after Archie. I don’t have to go far, Chop’s car is parked right in front of the pub, him and Archie leaning against it. Chop smoking and Arching examining the palms of his hands. Chop clocks me first, relieved and disappointed all at once. I wonder if I’ll ever see that gap toothed grin on his face again, the one that seems to be a constant presence when Rae’s around.

“I fucked up.” The words come out like air. Like my lungs need them.

“Got that right laddie.” Chop answers before tossing his smoke onto the sidewalk.

“Let’s just get ya home. Talk bout this in the mornin’ yeah?” Archie asks with a tight lipped smile.

“Rae’s home.” I mutter almost to myself but I know they hear it.

“Nah, you’re in no state to go to Rae’s” Archie answers.

“No,” c’mon Finn, get this right, “Rae is home.”

Chop and Archie share a look before turning back to me, like two parents trying to communicate without their toddler knowing what they’re thinking.

“Might be but she’s probably asleep at this hour.” Archie says.

Are they really that thick? Or am I just too drunk? And why the fuck is Chop not saying anything? Words aren’t mine, they’re never on my side but I got to get this right. Got to get something right.

“Rae Earl is my home. She is everything. Where all my crap seems less crappy. Where I make sense. She’s it. She’s where I need to be, always.”

“Finn, ya kissed Katie and Rae caught ya. You called Rae fucking…called her the one thing no one has a right to call her. You might think she’s your home but maybe you’re not hers. Maybe you’re not what she needs.” Chop says.

“Think I don’t fucking know that?!” I shout and for the first time I see something else in Chop’s eyes. More than relief and disappointment, something that could be happy. Then I clock his lips, their corners are quirking up just a bit. But I can’t question it. My throat is working and I need to let this out. “Rae’s the strongest person in Stamford, maybe the world. She needs someone that can give her words and safety, knows what she needs to hear and fucking tells her. She needs someone just as great as she is and I’m not even fucking close. I’m just another lad from this shite town with nothing more than a decent record collection.”

My knees bend from under me and my ass follows to pull of gravity. My back starts to haunch and shake with the pressure of sobs I can’t control.

“I can’t give her anything. Even the fact I’m in love with her doesn’t give me any standing. Anyone can fall in love with her. Could see how beautiful she is. Anyone with eyes can see that. Anyone who spends more than two minutes with her can see that she’s more than any single person deserves. I’ve never been and never will be close to what she needs, didn’t even try to be.”

“Finn.” the softness in Archie’s voice makes the liquor in my stomach try to meet the pavement in front of me.

My palms push into my eyes hoping to cut off the flow of tears, to push back everything I’ve refused to say until now. To suck back the truth I wish was anything but. These were the things I should have been saying to Rae. The words she should have heard every day while we were together. The words someone else will be strong enough to tell her.

“Fuck this.” Chop spits and in and instant I feel my hands being pulled from my face. He wraps both my wrists in one hand and before I know it my head is banging from the smack of his other hand.

“Chop!” there’s force in Archie’s words. Regardless of any plan this was not part of it.

“I’m dealing with this.” Chop says over his shoulder to Archie before turning back to me. I wish I could see myself in his eyes. See the red eyes and sobbing mess I’ve become. “Let’s pretend ya not good enough for our Raemundo, a’right? You think this is how to go about it? Ya just gonna drink yaself away till what? Till she’s at Uni? Till she brings a boyfriend back to meet us? Till she’s married with kids? Or ya just hoping ya liver craps out before she ever comes back? What’s the endgame here Finn?” He waits a minute hoping I’ll answer but my lungs are working overtime through the tears, the letters in my throat have been sucked down and they’re heaving with my sobs.

Chop huffs a breath and let’s go of me. He’s standing above me now, Archie only a couple feet away from us.

“Know what, Arch. He’s right. Rate he’s goin’ he’s bound to be the man Rae deserves.”

“Fuck off!” I cry out.

My feet start to push and I haul myself up, less than gracefully I’m sure, until I’m standing. By standing I mean my body is relying completely on the wall behind me to keep me upright.

Then Chop laughs, pulls out his a cig and lights it. Not sure if it’s my inability to stand that’s so comical or the emotional state I’m in that he’s getting a kick out of but either way I’m furious.

“Wha’ like you? Sounds like a right plan. Let’s all just fuck off like Finny boy over here.”

“You don’t fucking get it!” I shout.

“Damn right I don’t. Don’t get how you can let the girl you supposedly love slip through ya fingers. You think I don’t know Izzy deserves more than me? I ain’t good enough for her, not even close on my best day. But I’ll never stop tryna be. I work hard to show her I’m trying to be enough. I tell her, I show her, I make up for my short comings. Sure, I fuck up but we’re not seventeen anymore. We can’t let what we think of ourselves stop our girls from loving us. We gotta fucking earn them. Rae loved you.”

“Chop, don’t say that. She might still love him.” Archie says as he takes a couple steps closer to us.

“Bloody hope not. He might’ve deserved her once but not now.” and there’s that bloody smile again, more obvious now than before.

He’s right. I don’t deserve her but I could try. I could do better because I sure as shit wasn’t trying before. I can work through those letters in my throat and get them out. Even if they come out wrong they’ll come out. She’ll hear them even if she doesn’t believe them. She’ll know I still love her and I fucked up but I’ll always love her and do better for her. She might deserve more than I can give but I’ll still give her everything. Give her more than I can give her, give her my last breath so she can live just a second longer than me. If she decides I’m not enough, that’s her choice to make. I can’t make it for her.

“Drive me to Rae’s.”

“Nope.” Chop says, smiling even more than he was before. “Ya still not in any state but we will drive ya back to ya flat. We’ll stay with ya and in the mornin’ we’ll drive ya to Rae’s.”

“Promise?” I’m ashamed of how childlike I sound but I gotta know.

“Long as you promise to fight, promise to get the fuck off your ass and fight for your girl, I promise.” Chop says before pulling me into a hug.

I’ll fight for her, I have to. She’s worth it. Even if I end up bloodied and lifeless, she’s worth it. She’s worth everything.

Tag Test and Tag Update

Hi guys! I am thinking I will post my monster fic tomorrow sometime. I know I said after I finished Charlatan I would post it but I’m having trouble with getting that one to go where I want to go, lol! So, that being said I’m gonna go ahead and post early. BUT before that I wanted to check tags because they have been giving me a lot of issues, if you could let me know if they work by either, liking/commenting or re-blogging that would be fantastic! This way if not I can try to hassle staff about it! Thank you! <3

Also: I will take this time to update my tag list, so I will ask, if you no longer wish to be included to go ahead and drop me a message and I will remove you, I would hate to keep tagging someone who does not wish to be tagged anymore, seriously, just let me know! :) OR if you wanna be added let me know and I will add you! :) 

Forever tag list:  @nemo-miraclegrow-blog grow @areyousad8118 @thisissomefreshbullshit @luckyemcee @mmfdiaryfan @murderyoursoul @kristicallahan  @irish-girl-84  @sey77 @bebelievelive @justagirlnamedkayla @i-love-mmfd @anitavalija @stephlostctrl @milymargot @busstop @ililypop @pink-royaute @lolflash @youmehellofarollercoasterride @curvygirlonabudget @mellamoaiko @inneedofamoralcompass @paleasalabaster @mmfdfanfic @mallyallyandra @lethallylauren @finnleysraemundo @pissingonursoul @losingpudge @bitchy-broken @fuckintentshop @audisodd @darlingdiver @fantasticab @celestev31 @rinncincin @tinakegg @ducky17 @katywright340 @bitcheslovebeck @raernundo @nutinanutshell @cant-getno-sleep @courtkismet @omgbananasnailus @i-dream-of-emus @guyoverboard @anglophileyoungblood @swooningfangirl @bitchesbecrazy89 @chrryblsms @girlwithafoxhat @annemarieted @sammylbc @sarahlouise88ni @denaceleste @how-ardently @idontliketalkingtoanybody @mmfdblog @phoenixflow @penguinsandbowties @fizzezlikecherrycola @fangirlwithoutshame @africancreativity @alyssaloca @llexis @thatfunnygirllauren @cheersmedear @14000romances @rred87 @nirvanalove27 @takenbyatree @im-an-emu @shashaaussi @mirandasmadeofstone @lililuvlight @flxwxry @slitherouter @saracasm25 @becauseyouarestrong @malvaloca93 @happyfrasers @vmellow @scumothaearff @wandering-soul-7 @hewittgolightly @emmatationsforall @ninjarunningzico @arcticoasisboy @milllott @rafaellabnery @endemictoearth @blackfeministagenda @queenasfuccck @lilaviolet @dianasaurousrexxx @kathhumphreysx @eighty-sixcharlie @flirtmcgirt @nenita1978 @crystalgiddings1993 @girl-looking-out-window @facephase @blobwithagob @freyasfrench @luly310 @borntochaos @likeashootingstarfades @isthistherightwayround @toseeyou-again @emu4ever @carpe-libris @voodoomarie @keisernerosmom @you-are-world-class-i-mean-that @cosiquellocheora  @protectfinnnelson  @stinemarine @rhi3915 @lovinglifeandlivinglove @caitlinmaddyx  @lizzylizard84 @redprairielily @look-how-they-shine-love  @annaplantain @everythingilove-blog @lau-vm  @absolutelynotnico @mmfdftw @kingbeeyonce as always please let me know if you would like to be added or removed :D   

xx

I can’t wait!!!!!

Could I be added? Thanx

please reblog this if you're a My Mad Fat Diary blog or even just a fan of the show. I'm really curious as to how many of us are on here.

Testing the Tag List

So, after @kneekeyta said she was having problems posting fics with her tag list, I thought I’d test mine. I had trouble reblogging a fic of hers, it said it was “too long”. So, I’m putting my tag list out there, to see if I can post a long tag list.

Since I’m doing this anyway, I figure I’ll put this out as a general ‘feel free to let me know if you want to be added or removed from this list’ because I don’t want to be unduly bugging people if and when I add tags to my fics. :D

* * * * *

@ch1darkcy @hohumi @sassy-curmudgeon @slothpaws @adaftmyriad @greenangelheart @old-lady-at-heart @teastaindiary @lametwentysomething @fantasticab @allimidori @robichaux-prefect @llexis @thisissomefreshbullshit @boysweatandckone @someday-youwillfindme @kneekeyta @justagirlnamedkayla @14000romances @darlingdiver @mirandasmadeofstone @how-ardently @icshly @gushington-central @i-love-mmfd @carpe-libris @raernundo @broughttoyoubythelettera @i-dream-of-emus @mallyallyandra @anglophileyoungblood @fuckintentshop @aggressively-lamps @chrryblsms @nipasir @areyousad8118 @ducky17 @milymargot @sharoonroney @sarahlouise88ni @celestev31 @scumothaearff @bitcheslovebeck @magicalgrandma @kerrv0rting-and-sn0rting @ililypop @gemmarstyles @ilovefinnnelson @sammylbc @anca82 @idontcareifyoudontbelieveme @murderyoursoul @losingpudge @heartnotbrain @jackiewalsh2013 @dairingoriginal @sunflowerdope @omgbananasnailus @katywright340 @bitchy-broken @pigeonfarmrace @rinncincin @mellamoaiko @finnleysraemundo @kristicallahan @musicfreak1 @alyssaloca @girlwithafoxhat @karinskyme @irish-girl-84 @tinakegg @luvs-jade @2muchtosee2littletime @voodoomarie @myfinnnelsonpls @annemarieted @happyfrasers @wandering-soul-7  @sicklittlejag  @zero-for-starters @thatfunnygirllauren @stinemarine @huffee-hugsandcoffee @milllott @emu4ever @becauseyouarestrong @blobwithagob  @lovinglifeandlivinglove

Folks on my tag list who I can’t tag:

@fangirlwithoutshame @shadan-stone-roses @perfecters @abullofshit @arashian-emu @courtkismet @jessicacandesign @inneedofamoralcompass

Honestly, if you are over mmfd, or fic, or ME, I understand. Not everyone hangs with a fandom for the same amount of time, and I won’t be sad if you let me know you’re no longer interested. And, if your url isn’t on my list and you want to get a little purple notification when I decide to tag a fic, let me know and I’ll add you to the list!

Tag worked, mmfd always🙂x

Hi guys!  I wanted to see if my tags are working so I’m reposting a fic :) let me know if your notifications work please :) 

Forever tag list:  @nemo-miracle-grow grow@areyousad8118@thisissomefreshbullshit@luckyemcee@mmfdiaryfan@murderyoursoul@kristicallahan @irish-girl-84 @sey77@bebelievelive@justagirlnamedkayla @i-love-mmfd@anitavalija@stephsadickhead@milymargot@busstop@ililypop @pink-royaute@lolflash@youmehellofarollercoasterride@curvygirlonabudget@mellamoaiko@inneedofamoralcompass@paleasalabaster@mmfdfanfic@mallyallyandra@lethallylauren@finnleysraemundo@pissingonursoul @losingpudge@bitchy-broken@fuckintentshop @audisodd@darlingdiver@fantasticab@celestev31@rinncincin@tinakegg @ducky17@katywright340@bitcheslovebeck@raernundo@nutinanutshell@cant-getno-sleep@courtkismet@omgbananasnailus @i-dream-of-emus@guyoverboard@anglophileyoungblood@swooningfangirl@bitchesbecrazy89@chrryblsms@girlwithafoxhat@annemarieted @sammylbc@sarahlouise88ni@denaceleste @how-ardently@idontliketalkingtoanybody@mmfdblog@phoenixflow@penguinsandbowties@fizzezlikecherrycola@fangirlwithoutshame@africancreativity@alyssaloca@llexis@thatfunnygirllauren@cheersmedear@14000romances@rred87@nirvanalove27@takenbyatree@im-an-emu@shashaaussi@mirandasmadeofstone@lililuvlight@flxwxry@slitherouter@saracasm25@becauseyouarestrong@malvaloca93@happyfrasers@vmellowmmfdcast @scumothaearff@wandering-soul-7@hewittgolightly@emmatationsforall@ninjarunningzico@arcticoasisboy@milllott@rafaellabnery@endemictoearth@oscarworthyperformance@blackfeministagenda@fxckyoubruhhh@lilaviolet@dianasaurousrexxx@kathhumphreysx @eighty-sixcharlie@flirtmcgirt@nenita1978@crystalgiddings1993@mydiaryofemus@facephase@blobwithagob@freyasfrench@luly310@borntochaos@likeashootingstarfades@isthistherightwayround@toseeyou-again @emu4ever@carpe-libris@voodoomarie@keisernerosmom @you-are-world-class-i-mean-that@cosiquellocheora@protectfinnnelson  @stinemarine @rhi3915@lovinglifeandlivinglove@caitlinmaddyx  @lizzylizard84 as always please let me know if you would like to be added or removed :D 

For Love

Keep reading

Tag worked, keep em coming😀X

Exactly

Oh, hello there! So, both @kneekeyta and @lilaviolet reblogged this list of prompts. Number 28 grabbed m’fancy: “My bride/groom ditched me at the altar, but fuck them I’m taking this honeymoon, anyway.” (I guess that’s your summary right there.)

I meant for this to be much shorter only it got away from me a bit, but I’m actually not unhappy with how it turned out. I’ve given it a once-over and things looked alright, but I’m not agonizing over it like I normally do. 

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT! (I feel like I should revise my tag list so this goes out untagged.)

* * * * *

Did this actually happen in real life? she wondered. It seemed like too fantastic of a plot twist to ever happen to actual people. Nevertheless, here she was. Standing alone at the altar, in an ivory dress and purple Converse, a bouquet of lilacs and white roses hanging limp at the end of her arm.

She squeezed her eyes shut, afraid to glance over her shoulder and see her mum’s disappointed face, Karim’s kind eyes crinkled in sadness, and the all of the gang squirming in discomfort. He really wasn’t coming.

Keep reading

“Excuse me. Can you help us?“ 

I whirled quickly to come face-to-face with a tall woman whose overwhelming motherness radiated from her skin. She smiled with her whole face, deep-set wrinkles and all, and she seemed tired, but in an accomplished way. Smiling at me from just under two inches below her shoulder was a curious little boy, whose brilliant blue eyes took in the whole world. He felt more comfortable in his surroundings than I did. 

“Of course! What are we looking for today?" 

She smiled graciously and shook her head. "No, no, sorry. I’m all set,” she beamed. “My son, however, has a couple of questions." 

I turned my whole attention onto him then. He was the client now and was in the hot seat. I immediately anticipated questions about skincare for unruly 14-year-old skin or requests for the perfect cologne for an upcoming date. I smiled, my mind already working out the details of our likely conversation, and I was ready to take him straight to the back corner of our store where we keep all of the blue-packaged “manly” products. 

"I was hoping you could help me find the right concealer,” he said, in a shy, rushed voice. “You know, for my eyes so I look awake and not like I stayed up all night watching Arrested Development." 

I paused and replayed the scenario in my head a few times because I was having trouble holding in how completely elated I was. There I was, standing in my beauty store, talking to a young man who could not have been older than 15; a boy whose mother had just encouraged to ask me about makeup. 

Instantly, my mind raced back to my formidable years, long before I felt comfortable enough wearing anything other than the denim-and-flannel fare of my hometown; to a few years after that when my only clothing comfort zone was as black and as baggy as I could muster, all in an effort to avoid any unnecessary part of me showing – an attempt to keep the world from seeing just how uncomfortable I was. 

Goth kids typically aren’t trying to be radical, by the way – actually, they’re usually so afraid of being who they really want to be that they will go to great lengths to become an extreme example of something else. It’s easier to avoid being told their ideas and dreams are uncool and unattainable if they bury them under layers and layers of black clothing and silver spikes. It also helps keep out the unavoidable influences of pushy friends and family members who would like nothing more than to turn them into carbon copies of everyone else. Who’ll try to talk the creepy goth kid into giving up his poetry books and journals if he’s wearing a shirt with headless bats on it? 

"Sure! I can absolutely help with that,” I responded, my client service smile becoming more and more real by the second. “But I may have to put a little concealer on you to make sure it’s the right color. Is that ok?” My eyes flicked toward his mother. 

“That’s perfectly fine,” she said easily. With a loving smile for her son, she wandered away to the haircare section and left this perfect example of everything I hope the rest of the world can become in my care. 

I stared at him with a mixture of real respect and, somewhere deeper down, the overwhelming desire to take him under my wing and protect him from the world. I could not stop thinking about how brave he was for standing there in a makeup store and talking to a grown man about concealer shades. Didn’t he know that I was called a faggot for wearing red shoes to high school one day? Didn’t he know that I was thrown into lockers for wearing smudged black eyeliner? Didn’t he know that one of my teachers told me he felt sorry for my parents because I had long Kurt Cobain hair and wore big, baggy pants? 

No. He didn’t know any of that. To him, I was a cool, tattooed adult, and he looked at me with his own expression of respect and awe. I beckoned to a passing makeup artist and asked her to hand me a brush so I could show him a few tricks. During our ten minutes together, he warmed up to me completely, and by the end, he was comfortably asking me hundreds of questions: 

“How does strobing work?” “Is it a good idea to watch YouTube videos?“ "My mom had a tinted moisturizer she lets me play with, but is it a good color for me?” “Do you like the glitter on my eyes?” “How do you get the highlight to be just right underneath your eyebrows?” “Can you show me other palettes I can use? I only have $25, but I’m willing to look at anything." 

On and on. I walked him all over the store, happily pointing out different things. I realized slowly that I wasn’t just talking to my young client. I was also showing the part of me that is still a scared, abused little boy all of the same things. I was telling myself that the things I withheld from myself, all those years ago, were OK to enjoy, and that my interest in this industry did not make Young Me weird or strange. 

I also made it my personal mission to show my client that the world can be a kind place. I wanted desperately to tell him, through my care and kindness alone, that he will always have a safe haven here, with us, with all of the colorful makeup around him. Even though he never asked me outright, I answered him, in my head: it is OK to love the beauty industry as a man. It is OK to be as fabulous as you feel. You can be that person here, in my store, where we’ll keep you safe. 

I felt like I needed him to know all of us were there to help him. 

I introduced him to our Beauty Studio Captain and Class Facilitator, and encouraged her to use her very accomplished titles. I introduced him to a woman whose whole heart radiates through her every word, and asked her to show him a few eye makeup tricks. I introduced him to another woman who looks like a living effigy of an angel on earth, whose makeup is always flawless, and asked her to compliment his eye contour. She did, and I watched him smile with his whole being. 

Then I felt a shadow creep into our happy place. A middle-aged man was watching us from afar. He was watching me show my client the planes of his face so that he would know, later on when he got home, where the highlighter should go. My heart skipped a beat when he walked up to us. 

Do I react the way I want to, like an angry mama bear with her cub? I wondered. Who is this guy? What could he possibly want from us? We aren’t doing anything wrong, and, as I was already insanely protective of this innocent kid, I was willing to throw anyone out of the store who even attempted to make him feel strange or Othered, my job be damned. 

"Oh, hi, Dad,” he said, just as happily as he addressed his mom. “Shay’s just showing me highlighters. What’s up?" 

He reached out and ruffled his son’s head. "Just letting you know that your mom, sister, and I will be at the Gap. Have fun!" 

Before he left, he smiled at me and then, with what I can only describe as pride and love and immeasurable fondness, beamed at his son like he had just made a winning touchdown or finished first in a Cross Country meet. 

"Ugh, sorry. Dad hates it in here. You were telling me about the shimmers?" 

It took me a few heartbeats to recover from the shockwaves that pulsed through my veins. My mind rocketed back to all of my friends who were thrown out of their houses by homophobic fathers. Who were beaten within inches of their lives by their mother’s ex-boyfriends for being caught with mascara. This charmed kid, who smiled up at me like I was his new Yoda, had no idea how amazing it was that his family supported him this way. Normal, to him, looks like his parents dropping him off at a predominantly female-oriented beauty emporium, filled to the brim with makeup junkies. 

I wanted to know everything about him. How did this happen? Were they from Canada? Mars? Did he have a lot of gay family members who may have paved the way for this miracle of acceptance and love? 

We did another tour before I left him to his own faculties (I think he knew more than I did, anyway), and I practically ran to my boss. 

"I just met the most amazing client who was like 14 and a boy and wanted me to put concealer on him don’t worry his mom said it was ok and ohmygod his whole family was amazing they encouraged him to be in there and to let me show him things and I can’t describe how cool it was he was just taking it all in and I helped him and it was amazing!” I said it all in one breath. 

She smiled at me and said, in a very knowing and wise way, “I want you to remember this when you start to question the world again. This is how it works. He’ll remember you, too, because you were so accepting of him." 

Tears filled my eyes and I walked away, just to soak it all in. What would have been different for me if I had met someone like the person I’ve become now? I’ll never know that. I do know, however, that I am changed. 

I hope, someday, he’ll pay it forward, and slowly, the world will be a better, safer, easier place for another little boy who might not fit in.

“Bye! Thank you so much! Mom, look, I bought this – are we going to eat now?” 

They both smiled and waved, and I waved back. 

It’s All Fun and Games

Hello All! It’s 2016! Hooray! Anyway, here’s my first fic of the new year! It’s quite fluffy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! I should have a multi chapter coming out soon that’s a bit more angsty.

This fic takes place at the sexy party but the whole Finn punching Big G thing never happened and Finn’s nan isn’t ill. Finn and Rae are still at the prickly stage of their relationship. Thanks for reading!!!

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Wonderful 🙂X

The revolving door (personal)

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Ur an amazing writer, give yourself a break and it will flow again, big hugs xx

DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS

Thanks for existing

Hi Guys! Well, looks like I got myself into a new multi chapter, lol. I hope you guys enjoy!

Forever tag list : nemo-miracle-grow areyousad8118 thisissomefreshbullshit luckyemcee mmfdiaryfan murderyoursoul kristicallahan irish-girl-84 sey77 bebelievelive justagirlnamedkayla i-love-mmfd anitavalija stephsadickhead milymargot busstop ililypop pink-royaute lolflash youmehellofarollercoasterride curvygirlonabudget mellamoaiko inneedofamoralcompass paleasalabaster mmfdfanfic mallyallyandra lethallylauren finnleysraemundo pissingonursoul losingpudge bitchy-broken fuckintentshop audisodd @perfecters darlingdiver fantasticab celestev31 myfinnnelsonpls rinncincin tinakegg ducky17 katywright340 bitcheslovebeck raernundo nutinanutshell cant-getno-sleep courtkismet omgbananasnailus i-dream-of-emus @gemmarstyles , guyoverboard anglophileyoungblood swooningfangirl bitchesbecrazy89 chrryblsms girlwithafoxhat annemarieted sammylbc @abullofshit sarahlouise88ni denaceleste how-ardently idontliketalkingtoanybody mmfdblog phoenixflow penguinsandbowties fizzezlikecherrycola fangirlwithoutshame africancreativity alyssaloca llexis thatfunnygirllauren cheersmedear 14000romances rred87 nirvanalove27 takenbyatree im-an-emu shashaaussi mirandasmadeofstone lililuvlight flxwxry slitherouter saracasm25 becauseyouarestrong malvaloca93 happyfrasers vmellow scumothaearff wandering-soul-7 hewittgolightly emmatationsforall ninjarunningzico arcticoasisboy milllott rafaellabnery endemictoearth oscarworthyperformance blackfeministagenda fxckyoubruhhh lilaviolet dianasaurousrexxx kathhumphreysx eighty-sixcharlie flirtmcgirt nenita1978 crystalgiddings1993 mydiaryofemus facephase blobwithagob as always if you would like to be removed just let me know :) *Side note* please make sure if you are requesting to be tagged you specify if its for all my fics (forever tag) , or only a specific one, like this one for example. I would hate tag or not tag anyone. Thanks!)

Blind Dates Part 1

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Brilliant as always😀x

Battle of Who Could Care Less

This is part one in response to one of those number prompts I got a couple days ago:

26. Being in bands that rival each other but secretly dating

This reminded me of why I don’t do prompts very often … I can’t just plop the characters in a plot and bang it out. I’ve got to come up with all the rest and it turns into a behemoth … 

A couple of people were annoyed I didn’t tag last time, so I’ll tag today. I also have barely proofread this puppy, so be forewarned. Let me know if there’s anything especially egregious. 

Tagging: ch1darkcy hohumi sassy-curmudgeon slothpaws adaftmyriad greenangelheart old-lady-at-heart teastaindiary lametwentysomething fantasticab allimidori robichaux-prefect llexis thisissomefreshbullshit boysweatandckone someday-youwillfindme kneekeyta @justagirlnamedkayla 14000romances darlingdiver mirandasmadeofstone how-ardently icshly gushington-central i-love-mmfd carpe-libris raernundo broughttoyoubythelettera chicadificil i-dream-of-emus mallyallyandra anglophileyoungblood fuckintentshop aggressively-lamps chrryblsms @nipasir areyousad8118 ducky17 milymargot sharoonroney sarahlouise88ni celestev31 scumothaearff bitcheslovebeck magicalgrandma kerrv0rting-and-sn0rting ililypop gemmarstyles ilovefinnnelson sammylbc anca82 idontcareifyoudontbelieveme murderyoursoul losingpudge heartnotbrain jackiewalsh2013 dairingoriginal sunflowerdope omgbananasnailus @perfecters abullofshit @shadan-stone-roses katywright340 bitchy-broken pigeonfarmrace rinncincin mellamoaiko @jessicacandesign finnleysraemundo kristicallahan musicfreak1 alyssaloca girlwithafoxhat karinskyme irish-girl-84 @tinakegg luvs-jade 2muchtosee2littletime voodoomarie @myfinnnelsonpls annemarieted happyfrasers wandering-soul-7 arashian-emu @courtkismet sicklittlejag @fangirlwithoutshame zero-for-starters thatfunnygirllauren stinemarine

(Let me know if you don’t want to be on the list anymore; it’s all good!)

I’m hoping to have part two out in a couple days … it might be shorter than this part. Well, I can HOPE. :)

* * * * *

Rae walked up to their usual table at the pub and slapped a poster down in front of Chloe and Izzy.

Chloe glanced at it, then groaned. “Not this again!”

Izzy made a face “They beat us every time! Maybe we should just hang up our instruments and call it a day.”

“What? No way!” Rae clutched the flyer for the quarterly Battle of the Bands at The Cellar in her fist and said, “If we always came last, I’d agree, but we’ve come second the last three times. I’m tired of being number two!” she shouted.

“Eat more fiber, love!” a drunk at the bar slurred loudly.

Rae shook her head, still fired up. “I think we need to really kick into high gear this time.”

Chloe crossed her arms and leaned back against the booth. “Oh, really? You prepared to do what’s necessary, then? Finally?”

Rae’s eyes widened, her brow furrowed, lips pressed together anxiously.

“I—I don’t think that’ll be … I mean, you’ve got an amazin’ voice, Chlo, and you’ve got the LOOK, y’know? That’s half of it, and the half I don’t have.”

“Rae, that’s a load of cobblers. You sing twice as good as I do, and if you’d just let me style you up a bit … Izzy and I have been DYING to get our hands on your hair.” Izzy nodded solemnly while Chloe waggled her eyebrows and reached out to twirl a piece of it in her fingers.

Rae swatted her hand away. “Get off!”

“Okay, fine. But here’s the deal. We’re not entering Battle of the Sodding Bands again, unless YOU are our lead singer. And I pick out your outfit.” Chloe pursed her lips and flared her nostrils, the “End of” was silent but implied.

Rae looked to Izzy with pleading eyes. The redhead shook her head sadly. “Sorry, babes, but I’m with Chloe on this one. If we’re gonna stand a chance to beat ‘em, you’ve gotta be our frontman. Woman. Person. Whatever.” She shook her head to clear it. “Point is, it’s gotta be you, Rae.”

Rae unclenched her fist and smoothed out the flyer, sighing. She wanted to taste victory just once in her life, but wasn’t sure she was prepared to look like a fool in order to do it.

Just then, the pub door opened. Rae turned her head to see a group of three lads from the year above tumble in, laughing. The fittest of them caught her eye and scoffed. Rae saw red, and spun back to her mates. “Fine, I’m in. Rehearsals tomorrow, six o’clock. Mrs. Denton’s goin’ to let us have the music room for an hour.”

Chloe and Izzy gave each other a surprised look, but nodded.

Rae looked back at the trio, gleefully guzzling pints. “It is ON,” she whispered to herself.

* * * * *

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Sqqqqqqqqquuuuuuuuueeeeeeeee.😍😍😍😍😍😍.  

I have no words to articulate how much I love this, so I went with my reaction to your writing brilliance.😍

Brilliant, please keep me tagged😀x

Could I be tagged too please? X

Muted pt.1

A/N: Hey, babes, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything other than a psych analysis but here is a bit of something that struck me. I hope y'all enjoy and if you’re lost now just wait it gets better (or worse). I’ll let you guys be the judges! (tell me what you think dont hold back, remember give me love or give me hate I can take it) As always all the love! - L xx

Also areyousad8118 here’s your heads up! 

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Please tag me too x