Earth

Made a wishlist lol. I don’t expect anyone to get anything I was just told I should and around the holidays seems like a good time. Love y’all!

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

God forbid women do anything

god forbid women do anyone

can someone PLEASE tell me why all the depeche modes are in a bdsm relationship.

friendship? fucking friendship?

Those are their friendship necklaces :)

depeche mode heritage post

Forgot that we had a deep tissue massage gun and thought my partner was offering to hunt me for sport to cheer me up last night.

Yonic dish found in NY

✨️Joana Indi and the Queen of Egypt ✨️

Viable transgendered careers and why I cannot pursue them

Video essayist ❌ - cant read

Dj ❌ - only song I know is twinkle twinkle little star

Model ❌ - I’m too pretty it wouldn’t be fair to the other girls

Sad gitar singer ❌ - can’t spell gutar

Furry programmer ❌ - my hair is too thick and luscious to wear the cat ear headset

If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.

Anyway, here's a helpful diagram. When I was hit on the temple this was one of the harder things I had to reteach myself. Don't be shamed into not asking questions, and it's alright if it takes you a while to figure it out. Don't let someone make you feel bad for learning new things, or relearning old ones.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to teach yourself. YouTube is a valid option.

answer is yes, its my moisture 😒

Same. It’s refreshing.

TONIGHT. WE’RE DRINKING FROM THE POND.

where did op go?

do you think they know how much they contributed to online literacy? to the spirit of curiousity? to the idea of doing research yourself instead of always having it laid out in front of you?

when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

Who wants to hear a story about how stupid I am

Isnt that why we’re on this website

Every single time I hear someone reference Madonna as still being alive (like when they mention her Tumblr or Instagram), my brain immediately goes, “wait, no. Madonna is very definitely dead.” Like, I am CERTAIN that Madonna is dead. It’s a rock solid fact of my existence, there’s simply no way she’s alive, that’s “proof you’ve woken up in a parallel universe” kind of shit.

Madonna is not dead. But I keep forgetting that, and being dead certain that she is. I remember watching documentaries about her, about her history of being abused at home and in the industry, about her courage and skill and how she was taken advantage of, about what an iconic actress she was. I remember the outrage when that Playboy jerk got buried next to her as “the ultimate blonde”.

Now, people more astute than me might have noticed that I have confused Madonna with Marilyn Monroe. I usually don’t get this far in the proceedings. I usually go, “oh, I must be confusing her with someone else. Who is it… oh, Marilyn! It’s the M’s that must be tripping me up!

“I’ve confused Madonna with Marilyn Manson!”

Who is also still alive, though I genuinely wish he wasn’t.

I was confused by this reaction so I googled Marilyn Manson and it turns out I have also confused Marilyn Manson with Eddie Izzard.

How many celebrity victims with this identity trolly claim before you find someone actually dead?

#I get those two confused too 😭#also. this is a safe space so I will ask#is marilyn manson not a serial killer 

WHEN I REALISED MY MARILYN MONROE MISTAKE I ALSO THOUGHT THIS but no apparently he is a singer and I don’t know what the serial killer’s name is

Charles Manson. Who is in fact dead.

Bestie she’s on Tumblr.

i. am. dying

Don’t do that it’ll just confuse us all even more.