everyday i wake up and i go “god i’m so tired. i can’t do this anymore.” and then i get up and i continue to do it

Catch me with my daughter, Swamp. And my son, Bog

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them

I have a bad habit of calling things "loathsome" if they mildly inconvenience me, which usually isn't that bad, but today I spilled my drink and said "loathsome juice..." under my breath without realizing that's not a normal thing to say

everyone started laughing

i get jumpscared every time i drive past my old highschool and there's kids there idk why i just assumed once i graduated they shut down the whole place out of respect

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

guide 4 teens

get flipped idiot

Personally I think I'm shockingly normal for someone who has spent every day on the internet since they were 12

Clare Turlay Newberry - Cat Napping

It’s a good day to remember that I had a triceratops plushie for the majority of my childhood named Horny and my parents did nothing

Hey every time I see this FUCKING POST my chances of deleting my blog go up by ONE HUNDRED PERCENT

ALTERNATE ENDING:

there are lots of coping mechanisms out there but this is the only method that (sometimes) works on my wretched brain. can't remember? predict the Future

crying so hard night now. he is cute is that not enough to let him compete

someone once threatened to “put my bones in chronological order” and I think about that. a lot