CARNAGE CLINGS.

                  INDEFINITE  HIATUS .         plainly ,       i’m    not    allowing    myself    to    write    here   until    i    submit    all    of    my    college    applications .              i    love    b    so    much ,          but    i    literally     can’t    devote    the    headspace    she    requires    right    now .             i’ll    probably    be    back    in    full    force    around    late    october .       xox .       

                                          a    quiet     starter  call  ––        no    rush    on    these .         i    just    really    miss    writing      &      brooke ,      especially .       contact    for    plotting    is    likely .       mutuals    only .       ♥

high school is a social hierarchy. those who are lucky get a place at the very top, privileged with the power and advantage of popularity. the unlucky ones fall at the bottom of the caste system, either cruelly teased by others or suffering a worst fate by being a nobody. she used to reside in the latter. thankfully, she hadn’t been entirely alone and had been accompanied by her faithful childhood best friend from kindergarten up until the changing tides of freshman year. teen legend states that life shifts and upturns upon starting high school and entering a whole new world. deep down, she had always hoped that that would be true for her. she loved audrey with all of her heart but there was always something lingering within her that longed for the prestige and status of girls like nina patterson. the role of the queen bee was never something she personally yearned for. in all honesty, she was perfectly content being a follower. absolute power was never her desire. eventually, her wish came true though she remains blissfully unaware of the true circumstances that permitted it.

will belmont was the school golden boy. while his partner in crime jake was more of the arrogant and sleazy type, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. his easygoing nature and smile could charm any pristine freshman girl. he approached her table one day at lunch, completely ignoring her rather sullen appearing companion and focused his attention entirely on her. much to her surprise, he asked her to attend his upcoming game. of course she said yes. she wasn’t even sure if she was physically attracted to him or had any feelings whatsoever towards the jock, but there was no way she was going to reject the most popular boy in their year. the overhaul of her life that she had been so desperately yearning for had arrived. in what seemed like no time at all, he asked her to be his girlfriend. by the end of the month, she lost her virginity to him. oddly enough, the act seemed to seal her entrance into george washington high school’s most elite group. soon enough they were inviting her to and taking her along to what were labelled the hottest parties in town. it felt as if it had all happened so fast but she was immensely overjoyed at how much things had changed. unfortunately, she lost her best friend in the process. audrey had been a victim of nina’s torment dating back all the way to elementary school and thus wanted no part in the group no matter how much she attempted to try to persuade her. they didn’t exactly want to hang out with her either. she wants to tell herself that it wasn’t her fault and that she hadn’t chose a new life over her old one, but deep down in her gut she knows the truth.

BROOKE MADDOX was a source of intrigue. she was admittedly the one emma knew the least of the girls, having been friends with riley since childhood and essentially recruited by nina. the mayor’s daughter was the second in command of it all, the right hand to the reigning queen. she sometimes finds herself wondering if the girl is a snake in the grass, waiting for the leader to fall so she can claw her way to the top. all in all, the blonde seems like a relatively decent person  ( underneath the intimidating demeanor and mean streak. )  she seems like a loyal friend to have at least. 

it was a friday evening consisting of endless possibilities and it was common sense that a party would be in occurrence that very evening, hosted by some senior. another benefit to being popular was being invited to the events of upperclassmen              being liked and even admired by those who were older than them. it was planned to get ready at the maddox home beforehand, to indulge in the fantasy teenage girl ways of makeup and trying on each other’s clothes that she had always wondered about. she gets dropped off early after shooting her friend a quick text to let her know, at least an hour prior to the arrival of riley and nina. the life of a daughter with a single mother who had a rather demanding job occasionally put a dent in her social life and caused some minor annoyances. butterflies fluttered around within her stomach as the realization that she will be alone with brooke for an extended period of time comes to the forefront. nervous smile paints itself across rosebud lips as the door is opened, willing herself to stop the habit of picking at her nails in anxiety.   ❝  hey brooke. sorry about this              there was some type of fatal car accident on the highway and they needed my mom to come in as soon as possible.   ❝

                             enter    the    colosseum ,        &       pause    to    behold      PARADOXY      in    its    finest    form .         from    lacquered    lacerations    seep    brilliance    in    shades    of    vehement    denial ,     palliative    capsules         &        keratin     CRUSHED     to    unleash    dead    desire .          a    world    for    show    forged    from    stone    crumbles    beneath    the    weight     of  lore        /        of  legacy        ;              a    blazing    failure    scribed    in    face    of    technicality    gathers    scrupled    honor    from    passers  -  by         &        perscriptions .              ❝       –––––––––––––     –   –   –       em .      hey .       ❞          caryatid    emerges ,           only    half  -  draped   by    proxied    palliament .             [       she    prefers    not    to    be    seen    this    way .      ]            ❝       don’t    worry    about    it ,            you    can    come    in .       ❞         petals    untouched    twist ,           farding    disclaimer    ‘ cross    comportment   :           i    have    been    caught    as    the    girl    i    mean    not     to    be .               ❝       but    only    if    you    promise    to    excuse    the    lack    of .            tonight’s    outfit    selection    is    still    very    much    a    work    in    progress .       ❞

                              have    a    friendly    reminder    that    br.ooke    ma.ddox    is    likely    to    silently       &   subtly    integrate    tests  for  her  partner    into    the    interactions    of    her    romantic    relationships .          she    will    turn    her    back    to    them    to    see    if    they’ll    wrap    their    arms    around    her .          she    will    keep    a    straight    face    to    see    if    they’ll    try    to    make    her    smile .           first ,         she    has    to    know    that    they    care ,           then    she    has    to    establish    some     method     of     gauging      how   much      so     that     she     can    determine     how     much      trust    to    put    into    them .    

“you    texted    me?     never    received    it.     then    again  ,     my    phone    is    liable    to    be    lost    ninety - nine    percent    of    the    time.”       [     once    upon    a    time   ,    in    a    half  -  fossilized    memory  :   the    tender    stitch     to     her     splintered     seam     by     sunset     &     paraselene      /      the   splint     to   battered     wings    of    battle  -  befallen    &     her     implumous     shoulder    blades.     loving     hurts  — - -    &   to    the    girl    with    canticles      clasped     to      chest :     at    a    certain    point  ,   even    the    sempster   cannot   sew.    ]       “you    think    she    likes    me?    i    rarely    talk    in    her    class …    afraid    she    might   psycho - analyze    the    reasoning     behind    why    i    tap    my    pen.”       reach    to    yellower    tomorrows   with    outstretched     fingers     &     soldier   through    WASTELAND   with   WAYMENT    left    to   fester   in   barathrum ,    without    a    word     about     the     distant    song     of     rotten      augury    etched    in    the   air      /     it    remains    customary     to     perform     surgery     on    yourself  ,    alone  ,    tracing    bleeding   artery    &   reopened   scar    by   faltering    lamplight     to   suture   sallow    sobs.     even    with   chartreuse   throats     &     bruising   lungs  :    get    up  ,     get    up   ,    today     will     not     wait    for    your   healing    /     death     does     not     spare    those    with    cicatrized   knees    &    hands    buried    in   bloodstain.     &   she   ,   mantled   in   the   skeins   of   march   &   new   orchids ,    leads  battle  -  blinded    boy    (   a   body   of   mist   scorched   by   august   )    through    riversides    &   dreamworlds    interred   with   ash   &   skull  ,   hand   in   hand.   

——— - - -  the   lupine  -  shouldered  ,   battlefield  -  ready  ,   hearkens   to    threnody    by    midnight.     two   songs  ,    joined     by     lament  ,    to    rival    the    sorrows    of    fallen    seraphs.      “how   about    a    death.”    somber    timbres    seeps    through    soldiered    seity    /    some     succumb     to    glass   hearts    &   fragile   thew  ,    while    others    bury    themselves    in    the    carnage    &    arm    themselves    with    it:   a   tragedy   torn    by    teeth  ,    covered   in   teeth.        “i’ll   say…   the   killer   got   my   DOG.”

                              for ,          after    all ,            even     cut  -  down     turios    must    push    forth    through    most    meagre    hollows ,          as    do    evening    prayers    RISE  AS  BILE     in    coarsened    throats    of    speared    seraphs .             i    clasp    etoliate    expanses    between    bouts    of    unheard    contrition    as    though    they    will    soon    take    their    leave    of    me         /         i    grasp    at    attrited    hawser    in    my    mistaking    it    as    calcite    cuff .              ❝       or    you    could    write    it    in    your    dream  journal    instead .            –––––––––––––––     –   –   –        i    haven’t    even   found    time    to    start    mine    with    daddy    already    pushing    college    applications    in    the    picture .       ❞