I'm a disappearing act done poorly

anyone else ever daydream for 6 hours straight and then after ur just like nah let’s scrap that and do it all again but slightly to the left

my brain: *out of breath* Was that good?!

Me in a beret, taking a long draft from a cigarette and leaning back in my director’s chair: once again, from the top, this time with feeling

Shoutout to all the people who work tirelessly to keep their fandoms going, even after canon has ended. Kudos to the mods who organize rewatches, fic challenges, and other fandom events. High fives to the people who keep posting new art, fic, meta, and headcanons. A collective pat on the back for the people who like, reblog, and comment on the new fanworks and remember the older works as well.

If you’re on Tumblr reading this, chances are good that you fall into one of these categories. So shoutout to YOU, and to all of us.

When u bang ur toe on the table, add a pic im on mobile

OWIE!

is this gay porn

no it’s when you bang your toe on the table can’t you see?

So let me get this straight

if you consciously decide to throw yourself down the stairs, and end up breaking your leg in the process, it’s clearly your fault

but somehow, if you know a certain type of fic will cause you mental harm, but consciously decide to read it anyway, it’s somehow the author’s fault?

take the most common arguments:

I hate it when I say “suck my dick” and people say “oH bUt yOu DoN’t hAvE a DiCk” you fools. Blithering idiots. I mean my soul dick. My metaphorical penis. I don’t have a physical penis protruding from my body but the aura is there. Suck my spirit dick, peasant.

Behind every writer on AO3 is actually a dragon that hoards kudos, comments and bookmarks.

The lyrical genius of Cobra Starship. Tag yourself: I’m “put it on your blog, I promise no one even gives a fuck”

pour one out for all the people who’s messages went unanswered because i told myself i’d answer them later but when later came around i decided it was Too Late

I made a chart

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”

This may be the funniest thing I have ever read. There are actual tears coming out of my face.

“why do you like angst ridden fics with pining and miscommunication?”

me:

sorry to be cringey but can we stop this idea that every furry is a sex hungry freak that likes bestiality and has really disturbing kinks. being a furry is just thinking anthropomorphic animals are interesting and cute. theres nothing inherently sexual about being a furry. just because someone says “im a furry” they arent necessarily confessing to you how they get horny for foxes with tits or diapers on dogs or something. so when u see someone make a fursona or draw an anthro animal, dont immediately think “they wanna fuck animals”. sometimes its just that….anthro animals….are fun to draw. 

basically,

literally what is so bad about this

Also a lot of furries are literal children

Also, furries are one of the best and most generous when it comes to supporting artists. When they commission an artist to draw something, they as a group tend to pay the best rates and be the most reliable. 

Good morning! I’m salty.

I think we, as a general community, need to start taking this little moment more seriously.

This, right here? This is asking for consent. It’s a legal necessity, yes, but it is also you, the reader, actively consenting to see adult content; and in doing so, saying that you are of an age to see it, and that you’re emotionally capable of handling it.

You find the content you find behind this warning disgusting, horrifying, upsetting, triggering? You consented. You said you could handle it, and you were able to back out at any time. You take responsibility for yourself when you click through this, and so long as the creator used warnings and tags correctly, you bear full responsibility for its impact on you.

“Children are going to lie about their age” is probably true, but that’s the problem of them and the people who are responsible for them, not the people that they lie to.

If you’re not prepared to see adult content, created by and for adults, don’t fucking click through this. And if you do, for all that’s holy, don’t blame anyone else for it.

This needs to be reblogged today.

Consenting to see adult content doesn’t mean you should have to see a bunch of shit romanticizing incest and pedophilia you walnut

Except this is the last line of consent before the actual work. So if you’re at this button you have already done the following:

1) chosen to go onto AO3 in the first place

2) chosen the fandom you wish to read about

3) had the chance to filter for the things you do want to see like a specific pairing or a specific AU

4) had the chance to specifically filter out any tags you don’t want to see like, oh I don’t know, incest and non-con and dub-con and paedophilia

5) had the chance to set the rating level if you wish to remove any explicit content at all

6) have read the summary of the story, which aren’t always great but are the only indicator of what the story will be like writing wise so something about it was good enough for you to click on it.

7) have read the tags of the story which will tell you what is actually in the story. If you have used filters to remove stories with things you don’t want then there shouldn’t be anything in here that’s a shock to you but maybe there is. That’s why the tags are there for you to check for yourself.

8) Then you have to actually click on the story. You cannot see anything other than the summary or the tags without personally deciding that you are going to open and read this story.

9) Only here, at step number nine, do you get to the adult content warning pictured above. You have been through eight different steps, the last six of which have also been opportunities for you to see that this has adult content. And AO3 has *STILL* stopped you to ask one last time “are you sure you want to read this because it has things that only adults should see in it”.

If after this point you are reading incest and paedophilia then it’s probably because you specifically went looking for it.

You walnut.

Listen here kiddo