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Notorious Fish

@notoriousfish / notoriousfish.tumblr.com

彡☆ Stephie, she/her/ace/autistic, 30ish ☆彡
Fannibal, Danmei/MXTX pit dweller, C-drama addict, BJYX SZD (NSFW - minors DNI)
♡ ♡
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wuxxxian
"he gets only partway before something soft and warm presses against his mouth. lips. lan zhan’s lips. lan zhan is kissing him." - "mask" by @humanformdragon

warprize!ji art i made as part of our collab for for bottomjibigbang!

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aanox

Look at me wasting time on yet another social media platform

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WHAT THE SHOW WANTS ME TO THINK IS HAPPENING HERE: Jin Guangyao, criminal and political mastermind, is aware that Lan Wangji and this Mo Xuanyu impersonator are investigating Nie Mingjue’s murder. In light of the news from Yi City (which he would have heard from both Su Minshan and Jin Ling) and Lan Xichen’s uncharacteristic lack of communication, he is extremely concerned that a metaphorical noose is tightening around him.

WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE HAPPENING HERE: Jin Guangyao, event planner extraordinaire, cannot fucking beLIEVE that er-ge didn’t tell him that his brother and his brother’s suspicious boyfriend were coming to the Cultivation Conference. It is THE formal occasional of the year, its RSVP date passed weeks ago, everything was arranged PERFECTLY, and now he’s got to somehow come up with two extra place settings, redo the ENTIRE METICULOUSLY-DESIGNED SEATING CHART to accommodate them in a way that befits Hanguang-jun’s rank yet also downplays the presence of the guy he publicly expelled for harassing his wife (whom he needs to track down and warn ASAP because she’s going to be even less thrilled than he is!) yet ALSO puts both of them far away from Jiang Cheng (who seems to have beef with them and seems more stressed than usual), and all of this has to be accomplished WITHIN THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES AS GUESTS ARE ACTIVELY TRICKLING INTO JINLINTAI.

Either Lan Xichen suspects him of murder, or Lan Xichen did not think bringing two bonus Gusu Lan attendees to the Cultivation Conference with zero notice would be a problem, and some part of Jin Guangyao hopes it’s the former because the latter is frankly more offensive.

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idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little

Alternatively: it's not killing the mood at all but it's totally making both of them giggle like they're twelve and possibly get lowkey competitive in a subconscious way about who has the most to drop.

The more that I think of it the more I'm seeing the incredible intimacy of letting someone know where you keep your backup knife.

Like my god, the trust involved in letting someone undress you and learn your secrets instead of popping into the bathroom to change where they can't see and hiding all your weapons under the sink

second alternative: you go to hide all your weapons under the sink but there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink.

awkward

It’s not that there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink that makes it awkward so much as that there’s so many weapons hidden underneath the sink that they fall out of the cabinet with the unmistakable sound of a knife-alanche, and then the other person comes in like “I can explain!” and you’re just dead-ass standing there with your own armload of weapons like “I can also explain.”

Married version is shoving your hand in your partner’s clothes when you’re out of weapons because you KNOW where their spare is.  Or wearing a weapon in a spot you can’t draw from yourself because its now spare storage for your spouse’s weapons.

Every single one of you is a genius

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qourmet

The two general headcanons of How the Wen remnants Got into the blood pool both drive me bananas

Either they were killed in combat in their last stand and thrown in there post mortum as a general “fuck you” to both wwx & their namesake

Or wwx convinced the Wen remnants to Hide in his home as a Last Defense while he faced a razing army on is own, & tbh with the defensive barrier array they found in there 13 years later the latter is much more likely

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