It's Doodle Time!

Whatever the person behind SparkNotes' twitter is being paid it's not enough pt. who knows I lost count after all my Eurovision posting last night?

i want to smoke crack with her

Holy shit can you imagine looking out your window to see this over across the road.

This is one of those tiktoks where you’re immediately excited just from the thumbnail

"I could look it up but it's more fun asking friends" gang

"there's probably an objective answer for this but let's see if someone has a rant locked and loaded" group chat

WHAT’S UP IT’S THE GAYEST MONTH OF THE YEAR

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

*adopting the tone of a nature documentary narrator*

Compare this with the highly specialized environment of the mid-sized Ace Hardware Store.

With lower ceilings and smaller aisles, it does not completely cover the larger home improvement projects such as extensive bathroom remodeling or deck building and thus does not provide as suitable a habitat for the aforementioned organisms. So while you may occasionally see a Dad or Lesbian or Lumberjack wander in, you’ll notice that they never stay for very long.

And yet, Ace Hardware is a thriving ecology.

How?

With the decent sized paint selection, dowel rods, and a multitude of supplies for smaller projects it has grown to attract a clientele that finds the brighter lighting, narrow aisles, and organizational structure far more appealing.

What exactly are these fantastic creatures?

Well, the answer is right there in the name.

“SING GODDAMN IT!” John Mulaney is such a mood for… everything, I just HAD to do these lol

the utter ecstasy of “is that lavENDER?” is what sells it for me

I wanna hang out with both people in that video

the only valid way to engage with star wars is with a healthy dose of childlike wonder and a small amount of adult understanding of how stupid the whole thing is

like I know lightsabers are objectively ridiculous, they're cool as hell tho so shut the fuck up

this pandemic will end and you’ll claim the window seat in your favorite cafe, stand in a crowd at a concert, visit a museum and make crappy art in the park. sometimes things feel like they’ll go on forever, sometimes bad things feel heavier than good things, sometimes life feels like it’s slowing down and all you’re doing is waiting for the full stop— but just because this hopelessness is all that you’re feeling right now, doesn’t mean that it’s all there is. there’s always more and you will experience that, and you will feel alive again.

This puts her at like 8 feet tall

tiktok of theseus

the freaking Pirates music

This the whooping as he grabs his can of soft drink for me lmao

delgrosso: YES HELLO WE HEARD IT WAS SUPERB OWL SUNDAY SO WE HAVE COME TO HAVE NACHOS WITH U

original thread by @pukicho and several other users

I always love seeing this comic because it interprets Tumblr as a gigantic theater ruled by absolute chaos where sometimes somebody just stands up on their chair and shouts and we all pay attention

this post is from THIS YEAR

had to fact check and holy shit 2020 really has been 3 years long.

Happy one year anniversary little thread

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA (2005 - ) but it’s just the memes