Liberlibelula's low-key unhinged tumblr

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

Happily Ever After

The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

Man if I heard that shit while descending upon a strange land with my brethren I'd straight up dig a hole to die in right the and there, fuck the emperor fuck the gods that's a warning straight from the bones of an older evil and whatever is coming is worse than death

- Secrets Post #816, August 11th, 2023

laga dyga is an evil hag and she is going to Get you

It took me way too long to figure out what it's trying to say. I was just willing to accept "laga dyga" at face value.

Can't read my, can't read my pofa kerce

Tumblr gifmakers are better than $1mil worth of marketing. I’ll see endless ads for a show and be like meh but I’ll see one good gifset and suddenly I’m on s2 ep10 finding blorbo from my gifs

I hate when people say ohhhh your pets only love you because you feed them. as if that wasn't the first form of love any of us felt. get real.

So true. Food is literally what we use to tell animals we won't hurt them. We give them food and then don't do anything to them and the animal learns you're a cool dude, and becomes open to bonding. When you bond, you Know your pet loves you. It's the primary way we get feral kittens to start trusting humans. It's no different really with people and how we come together, we bond over meals all the fucking time.

Also like. There is no higher praise than knowing an animal feels safe enough to come to you with their basic needs. That's why I like when it's cold and my cat comes to sit on my chest. She could go directly to the heater and often does when I'm at work, but does the heater cuddle back? Does it thumb rub her ears and talk to her in a voice she recognizes as contented and pleased?

Besides, for that to even be true, all interactions initiated by the animal would have to be in the pursuit of food. My cats come and get on my lap after being fed, when they aren't interested in food at all. They greet me at the door and instead of running for the food bowl, they run from elevated surface to elevated surface, trying to get me to hug them. The little one climbs into my arms without asking or being asked and insistently offers her flat little head for kissing. If all they wanted was food, they wouldn't insist on cuddling the way they do.

I hate when people say ohhhh your pets only love you because you feed them. as if that wasn't the first form of love any of us felt. get real.

So true. Food is literally what we use to tell animals we won't hurt them. We give them food and then don't do anything to them and the animal learns you're a cool dude, and becomes open to bonding. When you bond, you Know your pet loves you. It's the primary way we get feral kittens to start trusting humans. It's no different really with people and how we come together, we bond over meals all the fucking time.

Also like. There is no higher praise than knowing an animal feels safe enough to come to you with their basic needs. That's why I like when it's cold and my cat comes to sit on my chest. She could go directly to the heater and often does when I'm at work, but does the heater cuddle back? Does it thumb rub her ears and talk to her in a voice she recognizes as contented and pleased?

Besides, for that to even be true, all interactions initiated by the animal would have to be in the pursuit of food. My cats come and get on my lap after being fed, when they aren't interested in food at all. They greet me at the door and instead of running for the food bowl, they run from elevated surface to elevated surface, trying to get me to hug them. The little one climbs into my arms without asking or being asked and insistently offers her flat little head for kissing. If all they wanted was food, they wouldn't insist on cuddling the way they do.

Underdark🍄

That's because this is Silmarillion