Best Left Forgotten
Part 18: Waiting
Series Summary: You wake up in the bunker with a serious head injury and no memory of the last year or the Winchesters and find that Dean is avoiding you. You are determined to find out the truth about what happened but maybe the truth is best left forgotten.
Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam, Cas
Warnings: language, Season 10 Spoilers
General Disclaimer: I do not own the gif or any of the Supernatural properties or characters. This is a fan piece and is intended to be enjoyed only as such.
A/N: Oh wow guys! One year later and my first fic is finished… Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has read and shared and followed the story. An ENORMOUS thank you to @weirdochick56 for rough beta-ing and helping through an amazing year of this story. You are the best ;)
You blink your eyes open slowly and the first thing that registers is a horrible pain in your head. Your vision is blurry around the edges. You suddenly remember why you are here and you push through. You manage to make it to your feet in time to watch Sam lay down the photos and say something to Dean. You can tell immediately that your hearing isn’t right. All you hear is the high pitched ringing of complete silence. You hear Sam’s statement as a mumble passing through a tunnel. You are so dizzy but you have to save Dean. You remember it all now. The blood, the pain, the terror. That thing hurt you because you were a threat to it. None of it matters now because that was not Dean. But this man, standing in front of you, this still is. You can feel it deep in your very being. And you have to save his soul, because… It’s part of you. If he is lost, so are you.
You stumble down to the bar where those two boys, who you love more than anything, are about to make a horrible decision. You have to stop them, even if it kills you.
“Dean!” You call out as he raises the scythe up to… oh my god… Kill Sam.
Dean looks up at you suddenly and his eyes shift from a blank stare to recognition. He lowers the scythe as you stumble forward. You clutch your head as you fall over your own feet. Your vision blacks out and suddenly you have been scooped up, just before you hit the floor. After a moment, your vision comes back and you see Dean staring down at you.
“I knew you’d catch me.” You smile up at him through the pounding in your head.
“I thought you were gone, I thought I killed you… again, after all this time.” Dean closes his eyes, “This is why I have to go, why I have to let you and Sam go. I’m a monster.”
Every word pierces your chest a little bit more. “Dean, a monster would’ve let me fall and killed Sam. Killing Sam, me, the pieces of yourself that remind you who you are, your family? That will turn you into a monster. Don’t give up on yourself.” You know how important this part is. It takes all of your strength, but you reach up and kiss his cheek. “I forgive you. I love you.”
Dean’s face crumples at your words and he lets out a choked sob. You see pain, shame, and relief flood his face through the tears. He kisses your forehead and lets out a shaky breath.
The old man walks forward, past Sam. “Dean, if you can’t do it, I’ll do it for you.” Suddenly the scythe blade bursts out of his chest. The man looks down, stunned, and disintegrates into a pile of sand. He is gone within seconds and behind him stands a very surprised Sam holding the scythe. He seems almost frozen in place, mouth open, eyes wide.
“Are you okay?” Dean asks Sam, worriedly.
“Yeah. I think I just killed death.” Sam mutters back, “What about you?”
Dean looks back at you, terror in his eyes. You smile back at him through the pounding in your head. You feel the left side of your face go numb.
“Y/N?” Dean panics and lowers you to the floor. Sam runs over and cradles your head. He’s already dialing Cas, but you know that it is too late.
“Cas!? Help! It’s Y/N!” Sam begs. You pull the phone from his hand weekly and he lets you.
“I love you Cas. Thank you for everything,” You hang up the phone just as Cas tries to protest the resignation in your voice. “Sam, you’ll always be my best friend.” You stop for a moment to clutch Dean’s hand as a spasm of pain radiates from your head down your spine. It won’t be long now. You feel yourself relaxing into the pain as it turns to numbness. “Make sure Dean lives a long life, I can wait.” You turn to look at Dean for a long moment. You look into his eyes and see your Dean. Your protector. You smile and feel warmth and peace spread from your chest as you realize the truth in your next words, “I love you and I forgive you. You are not that monster. You are a hero. My hero. Every minute of my life that I spent with you was heaven on Earth. That’s all there is to say. This isn’t goodbye forever, it’s goodbye for now.”
Dean seems stunned with tears streaming down his face. He seems confused for a moment, unable to accept the finality of your words. He gazes down at you with eyes full of love and a plea. A plea for you to stay. A plea you wish so badly you had the power to give in to. “Y/N, there’s nothing but pain waiting for me. Monsters don’t go to heaven.” Dean looks down in shame. His face is twisted with sob.
With all of your remaining strength, you cup his head and lift his eyes to look into yours. “Dean, I k-”
You start to choke on blood and your words won’t come. Every breath burns as you breathe blood, unable to find air. Dean sits you up, desperately trying to help you breathe. The edges of your vision start to go black as you convulse in his arms, struggling to breathe.
And the world fades to black.
The last sounds you register are Dean screaming and Sam sobbing.
You open your eyes in the bunker, on the couch. You wait for the pain, the headache, the hole in your stomach… and they don’t come. Cas must’ve healed you. Relief is the first real thing you feel. You hop up and start looking for the boys. There’s something very important you need to tell Dean. He needs to understand that you aren’t going anywhere. They’re nowhere to be found and Dean’s door is locked. Odd. You reach into your pocket for your phone… It’s not there. Worry begins to creep in when Castiel walks through the door.
“Cas!” You run and hug him, “Where are the boys? Did Dean get the mark off?” You smile at Cas.
“Y/N,” Cas looks at you carefully. “You’re in heaven. I came to make sure you were okay.”
You’re quiet for a moment as you remember the last few moments of your life. You made this choice. The choking and the blood. You steady yourself and take a deep breath. “I’m fine. Is Dean… I mean… the mark? And Sam?”
“Sam and Dean are fine. The mark is gone but it released the darkness.” Cas sighs, “We have to deal with that next, I suppose.”
“Good,” you smile, knowing that Sam and Dean are right where they should be: on another quest to save the world, “Tell the boys I love them and I believe in them. And tell Dean I will wait patiently.”
“They love you, Y/N. We all do. We miss you. We gave you a hunter’s funeral.” Cas looks down.
You pull his face up to look you in the eye, “Thank you for everything Cas. You gave me more time than I ever would have had before I met you. This is not your fault. I love you.” You feel warm and safe here. This is perfect.
Cas, feeling your happiness, smiles. “Goodbye for now, Y/N.”
You watch him leave and your smile drops the tiniest amount as you feel the familiar ache in the center of your chest. Almost perfect.
You sit patiently in the living room watching one of Dean’s favorite Kung Fu movies for the 100,000th time. Your chest aches every moment you spend watching them, but they remind you that he is coming back. The door to the bunker, which has remained closed for almost 25 years, creeps open. You hop off of the couch and tense up with your angel blade, preparing for a fight or for another angel coming to ruin your happiness to get back at the boys. You aren’t afraid, only determined to kick ass. You tense up, preparing for a fight as the door creaks open and a shadowy figure steps into the shadows.
An elderly man with familiar green eyes steps into the light.
You drop your blade and feel your chest light on fire. A burning yearning for his touch. You can’t help the joy that spreads across your entire being.
He is an old man with grey streaks in his hair and deep wrinkles under his eyes. His face lights up when he sees you. You watch as he races down the stairs and by the time he reaches the bottom, he is the Dean you remember with dark hair and emerald green eyes. He holds his arms out and you run to him and jump into his arms. The moment you touch, You take his face in both of your hands and kiss him deeply. He carries you over to the couch and falls onto his back. You both lay there and you bury your face into the crook of his arm, stretching out on top of him. You smell the familiar scent of musky pine, flannel, and whiskey. You breathe it in, inhaling it like you will never smell it again.
“I’ve been waiting,” you murmur.
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