her sad brown eyes have bewitched me body and soul

her kicked puppy slay

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

I posted this on tiktok and it got 2 likes and a comment that asked me if this is a fanfic i'm writing. They don't teach history in your fandom school?? Never forget.

I don't disagree that restaurants as an institution have numerous problems, but sometimes I'll see a restaurant-critical post cross my dash whose author clearly just looked up the history of the word "restaurant" and immediately started banging on about how the food service industry in its entirety is a bourgeois invention that sprang from the aftermath of the French Revolution, and prior to that time people only ever ate food prepared in the home, evidently completely unaware of the copious evidence that the public fried-food stand is literally as old as writing.

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

sorry for being dramatic but this post did irreparable damage to the english language

Horrible job, everyone! Thank you!

my bad damn

Happy birthday my thrussy post

Happy 7th birthday my thrussy post

i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

almaost twre…

We got this

when the human 2.0 patch rolls out i think people with uvulas should lay eggs rather than keeping them up in there

i can not stress the confidence when i paused and thought "I'm pretty sure uvula is the right part" and got it in one

i feel like im being pranked is it a uterus or an ovary or what what is happening in there

im tired y'all got conveyor belts and stuff in ya coochie ig

current note count: 82

don't you put that curse on me

Girlies. The eggs are produced and stored in the ovaries then carried by the fallopian tubes where they're fertilized, ultimately landing in the uterus to develop into an embryo.

Oh so it's my fault i didn't pay attention in pussyology class my bad I didn't realize there would be a quiz 20 years later on tumblr.edu

pussyology

I hate when people say ohhhh your pets only love you because you feed them. as if that wasn't the first form of love any of us felt. get real.

So true. Food is literally what we use to tell animals we won't hurt them. We give them food and then don't do anything to them and the animal learns you're a cool dude, and becomes open to bonding. When you bond, you Know your pet loves you. It's the primary way we get feral kittens to start trusting humans. It's no different really with people and how we come together, we bond over meals all the fucking time.

Also like. There is no higher praise than knowing an animal feels safe enough to come to you with their basic needs. That's why I like when it's cold and my cat comes to sit on my chest. She could go directly to the heater and often does when I'm at work, but does the heater cuddle back? Does it thumb rub her ears and talk to her in a voice she recognizes as contented and pleased?

if the council don’t fix the sinkhole near me i’ll spray paint a massive cock and balls over it

this is a more recent british tradition, popularised by someone only known as “wanksy” in order to force councils to repair the roads in a timely manner instead of ignoring them. because a penis is the worst thing in the world apparently

A special comic featuring Gangsta Liechtenstein and Switzerland has been posted!!

Source link: https://twitter.com/hima_kaz/status/1783358191222579705 It also looks like Czechia and Slovakia are featured as well!! Edit: A translation of this strip has been uploaded! Please see @withnofreetime's original post.

Apulian rhytons in the shape of animal heads (340ish, BCE)

Congratulations! You are now a Magic-User!!

which is definitely not an omen

This is where Brexit Britain has gotten us. Can't even have a proper apocalypse now.

ok fine maybe i DID come back wrong. what are you going to do about it. kill me? put me back in the ground? after all this effort? all this pain and suffering only to find out bringing me back wasn't worth it after all? you worked so hard. are you going to waste all of that just because im not what you wanted? just because i belong only to myself? are you going to let me pick out my own coffin

More of the lad from the wild west, when cowboys were king (Cowpoke by Colter Wall)