the master of the slightly sarcastic understatement

ampervadasz

Unmute !

Brilliant defense mechanism. The hawks can’t get you if you’re under a tree.

vetmedirl

This is so cool!!!

great-and-small

Chickens are so underrated, I love them

maryplethora reblogged

maryplethora reblogged

thejgatsbykid

the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”

madlori

benjamin and gerrold’s

#p&p

maryplethora reblogged

thebestoftumbling

arvanitish

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

theaceace

I have had this conversation with clients on. multiple occasions. keeping a straight face doesn’t get any easier

bridgettekitty

[Video transcription: a TikTok video posted by @hoops0926, with an auto-tuned voice over.]

Story time. I’m a vet tech and one time I was rooming this lady for an appointment with her little dog who was covered in bugs. I searched this dog high and low for bugs. Couldn’t find a single one. So I said “Ma'am can you please point out these bug to me?” She said “Oh my gosh can’t you see them? They’re right on his belly!” She showed me her dogs nipples and proceeded to try to rip them off. I said “MA'AM NO, STOP. THOSE ARE HIS NIPPLES!” She said “There’s no way - he’s a boy!” I said “Ma'am that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have nipples. Those are definitely his nipples. Notice how they’re so symmetrical?” She said “No, there’s no way. He’s a boy.” I said “Ma'am doesn’t you husband have nippl-” [video cuts to the creator’s TikTok screen which says Sqad222 @hoops0926]

[End video transcription]

The autotuned voice makes this really hard to understand, but it really adds to the whole thing. I wonder what typographical context we could give it to make it accessible.

maryplethora reblogged

cowboykermitt

anthonycrowleymoved

hey all my peeps from northern climates you know how sometimes ya look outside and it just like has this Look and you just Know it’s cold out like there’s no obvious signs no ice no snow you just KNOW it’s cold because you’ve lived here long enough that u look at the sky and you’re like ‘it’s cold’ how fucked up is that

anthonycrowleymoved

oh my GOD exactly thank u for putting it into words

maryplethora

this is 'bright and sunny but deadly cold' erasure

maryplethora reblogged

lifeof-fie

catchymemes

spottytonguedog

This is legit the best thing I’ve read all day.

Source: reddit.com

maryplethora reblogged

thebibliosphere

whitepeopletwitter

drst

We never fucking learn.

@thebibliosphere

maryplethora reblogged

mothmvn

square-enix

i hope this email finds you a broken husk of a man

viole-n-t

theshallowest

maryplethora reblogged

butterscorchd

This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music

alskgirl

holy shit

punch-a-your-buns

whenever I’m feeling sad I just watch this video.

prozacmorning

I was not expecting that level of choreography or that they would actually know the words. This is awesome.

hailingfrequencies

was not expecting that handstand jfc

im crying actual tears this is sheer beauty

especially because bc im indian and indian people dance like this as well

they truly captured the essence of our culture im laughing so hard

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE TUMBLR KNEW THAT THERE IS A PART 2

as an Indian who appreciates this kind of promotion of Daler Mehndi’s “tunak tunak tun”, i have to reblog this

maryplethora reblogged

butterscorchd

heatandapathy

This is an absolute religious experience that I was not prepared for

soulsistrin

Whoever did the caps for this deserves an award

liifeintechniicolour

Can never not reblog this, a Scottish national treasure 😂

maryplethora reblogged

frederick-the-ii

*RARE* John Denver & Johnny Cash - Take Me Home Country Roads

Found this while going through my granddad’s VHS tapes and couldn’t find it anywhere online, so here it is.

Every time I’m lucky enough to have this hit my dash I listen to it, and every time I get chills all the way through.

superb

I’m so at peace rn

beetleboo

@nuka-nuke

lehcarrose

imagine harmonising with johnny cash on your own song, i’d die on the spot this is beautiful

makenzie-rush

That was John Denver’s gift though. He was an amazing song writer, but the man could harmonize with just about anyone.

hiboudeluxe

@tyrantisterror

maryplethora reblogged

study-princess

my favorite out of context quotes from my archeology professor so far in no particular order

and floridians are just as human as you and me!
and the moral of the story is that there are no deadly snakes native to alaska
you might know this guy as one of the only archaeologists cool enough to be mentioned by indiana jones
it’s my dream to have my name said by harrison ford
i’m not going to apologize for having this class at 6am because you paid for it and it’s your fault.
we don’t all dress like lara croft. i tried to get it to be a thing on a dig and my colleagues yelled at me.
they were pretty good archaeologists except they were too racist to realize anything they found.
i take back what i said about us not dressing like lara croft because lewis binford here is wearing nothing but short shorts and a cowboy hat. take notes for an academic halloween costume!
archaeologists can be good artists! not me, though. or anyone i know. but if you can draw just know you have options.
sometimes you find dead bodies when you dont really expect it and you just have to deal with it
archaeologists are the only people allowed to get exited when they find corpses.
once i ruined thanksgiving dinner when i told my family i had gotten my degree in archaeology and my uncle commented he liked dinosaurs too
the closest i’ve ever been to a grizzly bear is when i left my glasses in my tent on a dig in alaska, saw a big rock in the distance, and almost screamed

additional quotes

ah yes. archaeologists. or, as i love to call us, pottery analysts
i mean he was kind of a good guy for helping us beat britain but he owned slaves so that really cancelled it out.
archaeology is like cultural anthropology, except after you interview the person you turn around and shoot them in the head.
do not use trees! trees are bad! don’t do it!
usually you find shards, but it’s super exciting when you find a really big shard
it’s basically like a waterpark, except you’re fully clothed and walking through a dark tunnel knee deep in muddy water. so, basically splish splash.
i dont believe in curses but my colleagues and i like to encourage the idea of them so people stop touching our stuff
usually, you would find a knife in a kitchen. or underneath your pillow to really freak out your roommate who is a history nerd and has no idea why you would sleep with a knife under your pillow and he’ll get really scared and freaked out and okay i’m getting off topic
no matter what the other scientists say, archaeology is a real science.
don’t worry, i promise you, and whatever government agency that’s spying on me right now, that i’m not a crazy communist trying to overthrow the government
by now you’ve noticed the big “POP QUIZ” written on the board. there isn’t one, but i wanted to see the looks on your face when you saw it. but you’re all dead inside so it’s not really funny.
everything was fine except the citizens of pompeii just woke up dead the next day
the number one question you should ask when you read old archaeology papers is “how the hell do you know?”
nothing pisses off old men more than young people asking “why” and “prove it” so do that as often as possible
this is incredible! all it takes is a computer the size of this room!

even more from the margins of my notebook!

when in doubt, it’s ritualistic
coprolites are the only shit archaeologists get excited over
i know the only reason you’re not laughing at my hilarious jokes is because it’s early
they called it the garbage project. which is also what people call the projects i work on when we apply for funding.
what you have to realize is that people are fundamentally weird. they do weird stuff now and they have done it thousands of years ago.
things come and go but pottery is forever
i dont know if you all know this but moose are terrifying abominations.
and today’s lesson is about the difference between dirt and soil!
please, please, please do not eat old butter you found buried in a bog.
normally i would say this blackboard is a feature because it isn’t portable and can’t be moved but this is a community college so who knows