Another god damn Monday

Today's Seal Is: Caterpillar

Attacks u attacks u

Me in the, the uhhhh, if im being honest

"Arts 'N Crass" [S2 Ep01]

the generations to come will grow up using computers that resemble the touchscreens you order food at a deli from, no root access, not owned by them, only accessible via a few rigorously controlled and selected pathways allowed by the manufacturer, logging in will require a user profile with mandatory valid payment details which will be routinely used to access already extent functionality, their operations will be preempted while advertisements play, they will be taken to court if the electronic anti-tampering hardware is tripped. this will happen

they got us first with the phones, that they were eventually able to mostly lock us out of, or at least design the hardware and firmware in such a goofy fucked up incredibly secret way that there isn’t much you can do without 5 lifetimes of effort reasonably. they took root away, that has happened already, next will be the merging of your user with some network account with microsoft or whatever no longer being optional (google phones already do this), then no boot without network, then no boot without network and TLS connection with host “allowing” you to use it

windows 11 won’t boot on hardware lacking a “trusted security module” which is the fake name for a sealed chip that facilitates end-to-end DRM encryption a la HDCP, and that is when the concept of “local media” (mp3, mp4) will die, it will only come to you after payment, over the air, encrypted, or stored locally for a period of time with built in expiration a la video rental

i tell people this and it slowly happens and they’re all “i bet you’re soooooo proud of yourself for getting this right, must feel good” — it absolutely does not feel good, this was never an ego thing, they didn’t listen and when faced with reality they will won’t listen

i saw a kid writing code on his phone for a school assignment, man, what does that mean?

/House demon AU

I’ve reblogged this before but there are some new ones!

These are awesome

that last one is brilliant. They probably won’t jump.

Are you trapped on tumblr right now?

Is there something you planned to do before you got trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Are you yelling at yourself to get up and do the thing, but you can’t, because you’re trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Consider this your save point.

Put tumblr down, stand up, stretch, and go do the thing you planned to do. Future you will be incredibly grateful.

Things people in the notes have been able to do thanks to this post:

I need y’all to know that you’re doing amazing, and I’m so glad that I was able to help you break out of a procrastination loop you did not want to be stuck in.

Helpful post I’ve added to my queue in case it helps someone else at the random point when it’s posted.

@plaguedocboi as our resident Marine Life Expert, is this true or false?

This is the Irukandji jellyfish, which has venom 100 times more potent than a cobra and sends 50-100 people to the hospital annually. It’s venom can cause fatal brain hemorrhages.

This is a viperfish. It only grows a foot long and can’t do shit to you.

So yes, I’d say it’s accurate.

Sound ON!!

stuoidnmentlaheslth a all a tsuepid mental healthwalkbsrulidptbsbmenalhealthwalj stupid mental healfhsak stUPID MENTAL HEALTH WALK

[Transcription: (Sung in a pop-music style with appropriate backup instrumentation) This is the song that I sing when I'm goin' on my stupid mental health walk! stupid mental health walk! I know it's gonna help me when I'm goin' on this stupid mental health walk! stupid mental health walk! Yeah!]

[Image description: a video consisting of multiple shots of a large man with a long beard angrily walking and hiking through beautiful natural areas, including fields of flowers and forested trails. He swings his arms to and fro dramatically, and takes large wide steps, giving a comedic sense of a toddler throwing a tantrum. White text is overlayed through the whole video, reading: "going for a stupid hike for my stupid mental health!". End description.]

Ever since I first saw this video this song has played in my head every time I go for a walk

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.

As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.

But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.

The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?

First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.

Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.

With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

Say whaaaat?

Well uhm

Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.

If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.

And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.

Still grasping for straws, Wright?

Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.

Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. 

Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. 

Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.

I’m sorry Edgeworth.

I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1

But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.

Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.

And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?

While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.

The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

Ack.

(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)

Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!

Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!

… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?

Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.

Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

D E AD

I will reblog this any time i see it on my dash

Absolutely fucking D E S T R O Y E D

This is the strongest Tumblr post I’ve ever witnessed.

This was recommended and as a super logical person I can see why

I’ve been looking for this for ages!!

Apparently legendary.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

iconic

I swear I’ve reblogged this before but every time I see it I internally scream “THESE BOOKS ARE ON A HOLD SHELF” that’s why they have pieces of paper in them and are not shelved in alphabetical order (they’re shelved by who they’re on hold for). It’s also why the labels on the manga and the graphic novel are different (note how the one says “YA” and the other says “Teen”) - because they’re most likely from different library collections.

Suffice to say, this court case could have used a library employee as an expert witness and saved a lot of time.

since this came on the dash again, vi decided to waste several hours of vy day making an objection.lol of this

(flash warning of course)

“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

LMFAOOOOOO rip to that guy

i thought maybe this was fake, but there’s even a citation!

Taejong Sillok Book 7. 5th year of King Taejong’s Reign (1404), February 8.

Happy 618th anniversary of the day King Taejong fell from his horse!

Apparently the recorders were really intense about this. We have a record of King Taejong complaining about a recorder who followed him on a hunt in disguise and another who eavesdropped on him behind a screen. No one was allowed to see the records, even the king (one king did and killed five men based on what was written there, after which they took greater care to ensure it would never happen again), and changing the content or disclosing it was a capital punishment. Even when there were rival political factions trying to influence the writers, they wrote down what was a revision and what wasn’t and kept an original version with no revisions in it.

They also made sure to back up their data. They made four copies of it, then when three copies were lost in the Imrim Wars they decided to make five more copies just in case. One copy was destroyed in a rebellion, another was partially damaged in an invasion, and Japan stole one copy during their occupation and moved it to Tokyo University, where it was mostly destroyed in the Kanto Earthquake (47 books remained and were returned to South Korea in 2006). Now the whole thing is digitized, free on the internet, and translated into modern Korean for all to see.

It took centuries of meticulous recorders, justifiably paranoid copiers, absolutely determined historians, and painstaking infrastructure for this joke to be possible. Happy 618th anniversary to the day King Taejong fell from his horse.

Happy 619th anniversary to the day King Taejong fell from his horse!

happy 620th anniversary of the day a king fell off his horse everybody

horse: OH WE'RE GOING NOW? IT'S TIME TO GO? OKAY LET'S GO LET'S GO

WHOOO ALL RUNNING TOGETHER YEAH! I'M LEADING THE HERD! LET'S GOOO

5821969180069230989

A minecraft seed that has something deeply wrong with it.

This seed deserves special mention for having (at least) 13 ancient cities within 1,500 blocks of spawn. This is one of those seeds where they're more common than villages.

Right near spawn it becomes apparent that something is...not right about the mountains

at least, when you are confronted with THIS motherfucker unlimited. Note the level of the clouds.

For the uninitiated, terrain can only generate below y level 256. That flat plateau? Is at y=255.

Mountains are supposed to taper into peaks in Minecraft. This mountain looks like it was just chopped off at the height limit.

This whole seed is full of some truly dramatic mountains. This beautiful mountain range, for instance.

I checked out the seed on Chunkbase and found another area where the altitude seemed unexpectedly high, and traveled out there:

This range of stony mountains is by far the most dramatic terrain I have ever found. Like the mountain near spawn, these mountains also have weird flat plateau-like areas at y=254 or so, as if they were suddenly chopped off at the top.

It's almost like the game tried to create a much, much higher mountain, but was stopped by the height limit for terrain generation.

That's weird enough, but it doesn't really get creepy until you go underground.

This is underneath the mountains near spawn. That sculk growth is an expected thing to find under mountains, where the Deep Dark biome generates...but something's off here.

The Deep Dark biome is supposed to generate below y level 0, waaaaay way deep underground. But this sculk is all the way up at y=106.

That's not only over 100 blocks higher up than it's supposed to be, it's above the normal level of the ground! The surface in low lying areas in Minecraft tends to be around y=65-80!

The same weird thing is happening underneath the stony mountain range. The sculk growth has climbed far above sea level, when it's not supposed to do that.

Weird...

context (via @mellorocket)

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.

"So, boss... I may have messed up."

"What did you do, Ray?"

"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"

"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."

"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."

"Oh."

"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."

"Get the others."

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

Decided to say fuck it to my congestion. Closed myself in the guest bathroom, blocked out all ventilation, turned my massive humidifier on full blast and ran myself the hottest bath i can stand.

This is my enclosure. I live here now. I have recreated the water cycle in a matter of minutes and can finally breathe.

Would love to show y'all but yeah