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내일, 오늘

@tiredesperdad / tiredesperdad.tumblr.com

Resi/29/German/she/they | current brainrot: Detective Conan
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reblogged

Here's all the drawings I did for that askbox meme awhile back since I was pretty happy with em! (Even if I wish I saved the full images without the Bingo board in the way.)

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lakevida

using ai to write your papers is so embarrassing stop being a pussy and just dont turn anything in if you dont want to do the work... have strength in your convictions

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honey-doc

It’s really endearing to me how much these two care about each other. I love their friendship they’re so cute and funny

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Vewy sweet. It feels like they get closer after Marcille revives Falin :’) so important

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simplysnaps

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

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seriemorder

i wont lie i miss cock and pussy on dash unprompted. you used to be able to follow someone and theyd just put cock and pussy on the dash sometimes. nothing to do with their blog they were just having a moment. because of Horny. what do you get nowadays. a measly nipple? an Adults content warning ? all because of Woke. sick and twisted.

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The best genre of family portrait is and will always be Husband With Multiple Kids Making Come Hither Eyes At His Wife

Barbara Krafft, Die Familie Anton von Marx 1803

Marie-Geneviève Bouliard,Monsieur Olive & family 1791

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silentcedars

Going to add my fave - Family Portrait by Anton Einsle

Look at that Wife Guy!!!

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greenishness

Kinda crazy how speaking English is almost a form of literacy without which your access to the relevant scientific and sociopolitical conversations of our time is seriously limited.... Thank God I started reading yaoi fanfiction on American websites at age 14

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animentality
I'm an adult

You're a dumbass who the fuck says something like that

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weaselle

a few months ago my friend called me and told me she was moving back up near me from 7 hours south in the middle of nowhere and asked if i would help her because she couldn’t move the furniture by herself and the town was so small there was no moving company (there were actually only 5 or six businesses in the whole town including both restaurants) and she had no one else down there to ask. 

And even though money is pretty tight for her, she told me I could name my price if I would help her, because it was so far away.

I told her she was a dummy for thinking i would take her money but that i would accept the traditional helping-a-friend-move price: a meal (i know she would feel wrong about herself if she didn’t do something for me in return, that’s just how she is) Tradition suggests pizza and beer, we opted for enchiladas and a margarita.

we crashed on the floor of the empty place and left back north in the morning - when we got back to the city three more friends met us at her storage place (the place she was moving into wouldn’t be vacant for a couple months) and we started to move all her stuff up to a storage room on the THIRD FLOOR (because large city storage places be like that)

we had just taken the first box out of the truck when the (only) lady working there walked by and told us they closed in an hour and twenty minutes, and she couldn’t stay even a little late because she had to get to her other job.

One hour twenty minutes. To completely un-jenga a large uhaul and re-tetris it back into a similar sized room on the third floor.

We all just, shared a look, took off hoodies, and got the fuck down to business. 

It was actually.. I still cherish look we passed around. The tiny eyebrow quirks and chin nods. The eye glints. The bigger breath we each took as we prepared to kick it up several gears. That moment of wordless connection, when we all just silently agreed that we were damn well going to do the impossible and didn’t even waste the time it would take to say anything, just got to it.

And we did it too. Finished with exactly two full minutes to spare. And then we all went for dinner and drinks to celebrate. And my friend’s friends that came to help? Two of them were acquaintances/friends of mine already. Like I lived with one for a year a decade ago sort of thing. But this experience? Brought us all closer. Made myself a new friend too.

And the friend i helped move? She and I are closer than ever because of it.

When i left our storage success diner to go home, she asked me again if I was sure i wouldn’t take any money.

I said “I ever tell you when I was 22 I went down to Hollywood to try that scene out? Anyway ten months later, when I just couldn’t do it anymore, and needed to come back, I called one of my best friends and said i can’t do this anymore i need to come back. You know what he said? He said: I’ll be there tomorrow. Not how much will you pay me, not what do i get out of it, not will you be able to cover my gas, just: I’ll be there tomorrow. Okay? You’re my friend. If you need help, I’m going to be there”

If helping someone move ruins your friendship, you’re doing at least one of those two things very wrong.

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lawbreaker13

Reblogging for the last line

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A group of friends and I did a one shot recently in 5e. The catch is that they play something called “Dude Squad” where the only play “dudes” (not exclusively male people, just dude mentality) and they hate all magic and magic users. They think true strength is muscles and only muscles, and have in the past encountered magic users who they then convince to give up magic.

We got told to build a level 17 character for this one shot, most of the other folks had previous Dude Squad characters to resurrect. But I didn’t really want to play a straight martial class. In my heart, spellcasters are my true class, and I didn’t really have a strong idea of what kind of character to make.

So I approached the DM and said, “Hey, I have this idea to play a character that pretends to be a martial class but is actually a magic caster?” My girlfriends character is an aasimar who thinks he’s Thor and my backstory was that after meeting him and falling for him she decided to invest heavily in deceptive magic so as not to alienate him.

And my DM. Loved it. So he helped me build an extremely custom character. Two levels in Hexblade warlock gave her a good weapon and the ability to cast disguise self pretty much nonstop to appear buffer than she actually was.

Then there was four levels in Stone sorcerer in order to get 4 sorcery points, the ability to use those points to cast using Subtle Spell and no one could tell she’s casting, and to buff her AC.

Finally there was 11 Bladesong wizard levels in order to get some attack bonuses, even more AC, extra attacks, and the ability to burn spells to take less damage.

So the whole time I was burning spell slots to recharge my sorcery points every time I cast things like Haste and Spider Climb and use my Bladesong powers. We busted through walls and smashed our way through puzzles. We lied and said my character was a Barbarian/Monk so they didn’t bat and eye when she ran on walls with spider climb, but no one noticed when even after dashing she “held onto the stone wall” without any kind of check.

The final battle: the goblin wizard boss we were fighting had cast invulnerability on himself and had our friend mind controlled. So I’m trying to cover for not attacking as I try to dispel his invulnerability. I can no longer run on walls, or make the jumps my party is making on floating platforms over a spike pit so I try to use my actions on other helpful things like tying ropes for friends in the pit. I manage to dispel the magic on our friend but I burned almost all my spells trying to secretly dispel the boss’ spell and finally we just ended up grappling and suffocating him then pummeling him to death.

But at the last moment as we’re running out of this horrible goblin mansion I’m running down a wall and my friends are climbing down. The building says there’s 6 seconds left and my very injured love interest is not gonna make it so my character shouted “Fuckfuckfuck!” Ran over and cast dimension door to bring them both to safety. (Two people got left in the blast but both survived cause Dude Power). Then I critically failed my deception about how I had used magic and came clean and everyone lost their shit when they heard what we’d done. Her final confession, after dropping her buff disguise self, was, “When I met Kathor I really liked him and he freakin’ hates magic so I just kinda figured out how to hide that I was castin’ magic cause I though we might go to pound town.”

Kathor then declared, “I’ve never had someone try so hard to get in my pants!” And swept her up and they messily made out. It was deeply satisfying the wonders that DnD can create, like making a whole class based on the lie that you’re not spellcasting.

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I think an easy way to sum up american domestic architecture is that if you are remodeling and older bathroom you have to watch for razor blades in the walls

What could possibly be more american than creating a disposable version of a product (safety razor vs straight razor), determining that the waste generated was both dangerous (sharp!) and compact (flat!), and that the best solution was to just.. put a hole to stuff them in the walls and make it the next generation’s problem

A MAGICAL PORTAL
TO THE LAND OF KNIVES

@thefallingdream i have dealt with this so many times it’s stupid

The random photos i found though don’t do justice to what it actually looks like when encountered in the wild

Those are fucking clean looking blades. I always find masses of rusty blades with hair and general detritus.

Like having a damp rotting sharps container in the wall that you can’t empty

#a couple years back there were news stories about renovations to an old commercial building where they opened a wall #and it was full of HUMAN TEETH

#there used to be a dentist's office in the building and it seems the dentist was using this same disposal 'solution' with pulled teeth

#and apparently this was at least the third WALL FULL OF TEETH discovered in the state of georgia #just all sorts of creepiness being shoved into the walls in the early to mid 20th century i guess

Tagging y’all in this one actually, what the fuck?? Holy shit. @enderjester @lapin-noire I live here and I never knew any of this was going on.

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