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2020 is so fucking surreal like it started off with all of australia burning & a potential 3rd world war, then a worldwide pandemic is forcing everyone to stay home and now there’s another twilight book

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I never thought I'd lose everything that made happy in only a few months

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reblogged

I haven't more tears to cry

I haven't more strength to fight

I don't know what else to change

I don't know how much I can take

I don't know why I hate myself so much

I don't know why I try

I don't know how to scream for help anymore

I don't know where to look for help

I don't even know why I'm looking

I don't know why to live anymore

I don't know where this anguish comes from

I don't know where this voice comes from

I don't know...

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I’m sorry for not replying to messages when I feel unwanted

I’m sorry for always feeling unwanted

I’m sorry for not wanting to talk about it when I’m upset

I’m sorry I’m always upset

I’m sorry you feel that I’m not acting like myself lately

I’m sorry for losing myself

I’m sorry for lashing out when I’m angry

I’m sorry I’m always angry

I’m sorry for having breakdowns in the middle of the night

I’m sorry for having breakdowns in the middle of the day

I’m sorry for being clingy because I love you

I’m sorry for being unlovable

I’m sorry for needing constant reasurrence because I’m insecure

I’m sorry for being ugly

I’m sorry for isolating myself

I’m sorry for being boring when I decide to be social

I’m sorry because you deserve better

I’m sorry for being worthless

I’m sorry I’m incapable of helping you

I’m sorry for being useless

I’m sorry for burdening you with my sadness

I’m sorry for always being sad

I’m sorry I stayed in bed all day

I’m sorry I’ve stayed in bed all week

I’m sorry for not trying harder to get better

I’m sorry for not getting better

I’m sorry I let these thoughts win

I’m sorry that I’ve stopped fighting them

I’m sorry for wanting to end my life

I’m sorry for trying

I’m sorry that I’ll try again

I’m sorry for always having a reason to be sorry

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