mirror selfie

My favorite mode of transportation is tap dancing.

Get on a tractor for once in your life you sickening theater person

Describe the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, in three words.

just like bart

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2,061 slutty, slutty, years.

hawaii part II: beautiful lyrics it feels like youre learning a moral by the end of the song and the instrumentals lull you into a state of safety or anxiety

joe hawley joe hawley: feels like joe made a song out of the predictive text on his phone you dont know how you feel but you KNOW youre feeling it 

joe hawley: if time is constantly moving forward do people really die

the Trader Joe’s cashier: ok do you use cash or credit

Windex isn’t carbonated 

— Our Chaotic Good Cleric

— -the rogue explaining his magic stealth cloak poorly

not to be dramatic or anything but i would fucking die for you violet

friendly reminder that rick astley is actually a pretty horrible person lmao 

rick astley could be a fucking serial killer at this point and i wouldn’t have a goddamn clue because im physically and psychologically incapable of clicking any link that even slightly alludes to him at this point. rick astley just ran over 20 people you say? lmao not falling for that again don’t tell me to call 911 what do you take me for a fool

one day Rick Astley will die and none of us will click on the headline

You’re teleported to 44 BCE Rome in your everyday street clothes. You’re brought before Caesar and he believes you might be from the future, hoping to bring him fortune. One day he questions you, asking “How Do I Die?”

“Surrounded by friends”

Ceasers as he’s getting stabbed and remembers: