I’ve been sitting on this for several days, because every time I look at it my heart hurts a little in a good way. (Spoiler alert: I’m a wee bit tipsy, and it’s making me act like a stereotypical sentimental biddy. I’m sorry in advance.)First of all, anon: you are a really wonderful person. I know this might sound like blowing smoke up your ass ‘cause you said something nice to me, but you should know this. The fact that your reaction to something like my update post is encouragement and kindness says a lot about you, and about what you find important in social interactions. I hope you continue to want to say kind words to strangers. I hope this is something you keep with you, in your life. I’ll tell you right now: not everyone is this giving of themselves. I know it might seem like a small gesture, but holy crap it can mean so fucking much to be on the other side of that incidental kindness. TIPSY DIGRESSION: I was the most cynical, depressed, little shit of a teenager, but once a stranger smiled at me at the bus stop on my way to work and I got to thinking about how important it is to receive small kindnesses. Humans are meant to reach out, to feel for each other. Or even if we don’t get to the stage of emotion-mirroring - to communicate that, hey, I am NOT your enemy and I want you to be okay. It feels real fuckin’ good to get that kind of feeling of, “you’re alright with me, guy” from another person. Or maybe I’m just an anxious son of a bitch who craves that feeling, who knows? But my point is: thank you so, so, fucking much for reaching out to another human being to say this. I know that if you’re also an anxious fuck like me, my gushing might make you feel like an impostor, ‘cause you just liked a thing I wrote and wanted to tell me that. But look: it means a lot, it really does. Thank you so, so much for wishing any kind of positive feelings on me.UHHH ;;;;;;; anyway. I have been through a weird, tough, but good Summer, and have kind of managed to learn some coping skills when it comes to chronic pain management, sooooo. What the fuck am I talking about? YES! alright, so: I am getting back on the writing horse and trying to conquer my own damn self, haha!! At least I’ll have a shit ton of backlogged writing material, if I ever get over myself and edit all the shit I’ve been writing and telling myself is complete crap. Also, I got some friends. Which is good. Those are kind of necessary and what not.Wow, I super hope I don’t cringe in embarrassment when I read this tomorrow. : D6
