You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

pretty boys as chew toys do you agree

happy passover, everyone

why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

#girl… put 2 and 2 together

to me charlie puth doesn’t exist outside of these tweets

which is definitely not an omen

so weird how in english some words are really just used in expressions and not otherwise… like has anyone said “havoc” when not using it in the phrase “wreaking havoc”? same goes for “wreaking” actually…

reply with more, i’m fascinated

these are called fossil words! here's a whole list

Also interested in words that originally had opposites but don’t anymore; i.e. how we say ruthless but not ruth.

if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean

like this?

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

x

me seeing a mutual's happy post: "hell yeah buddy :)" *hits like*

me seeing a mutual's sad/vent post: "aww no buddy :(" *hits like*

The like button is heart shaped for a reason and the reason is that it means I love you

boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever

look at this SPECIMEN

my beautiful wet son Corn Cob

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

Fun Fact!

Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.

dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞

Fun fact! Titanium is often used for medical implants because it's *dodges lorem ipsum beam* because it's strong, nontoxic, won't corrode inside the body, and best of all, *dodges* bone will directly grow onto it! This is called "osseointegration" and it means that your titanium artificial hip, dental implant, or whatever will have greater *dodges* greater mechanical stability and will ARRRGGH! aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit!