everyone in my household smokes out of their little electric vape pens 24/,7 but when i light a real cigarette they're like nooo what about the toxins!!! you are smoking the video drome.

That's because this is Silmarillion

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

To quote Chris Fleming

"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming

really was born into existence to be put thru the horrors & write fic

I don’t understand Godzilla Vs Kong.”who wins an alligator or a monkey” alligator every time. “What if they were both big” what if you had sense. You would see

You don’t get it Jame. The monkey is substantially smaller than the Empire State Building and the alligator can unleash nuclear power blasts

Actually if any of you had bothered to watch the Star Trek episode "Arena" you'd know that a monkey can totally defeat an alligator so long as the monkey has a rudimentary understanding of how to make a gun

now see i think that nuclear power blasts are slightly stronger than a rudimentary understanding of how to make a gun

Not my meme but relevant cause yeah

You Won't Believe How Long It Takes A Giant Nuclear Powered Radioactive Indestructible Alligator To Make A Slightly Smaller Monkey With A Big Stick Tap Out

original comic

This made me guffaw out loud... @kakashi-enthusiast I have seen many riffs off my silly comic over the years but somehow I never expected it in reverse. thank you LMAO 

tenderly chewing and savoring the batjokes crumbs from batman 142

azrael: agent of the bat #53 // batman (2016) #142

My family has started calling my cat "the beast" which is very funny considering she's a 19yo arthritic old lady who needs help up and down the stairs. Not to mention she doesn't really meow any more, just sits and stares at you, and im the only one who can reliably guess what she wants, so my parents are constantly messaging me "The beast awakens... I know not what she desires 😥😥" i feel like the chosen prophet of an eldritch god

Nay, verily... I have noted the position of the stars, and determined rather that The Beast Hungers... for her nightly plate of wet food

@calamitytrios @shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey The people have spoken

Behold, The Beast

is that really old man yaoi or are they thirty

Me actively dying at the beautiful 40 year old AU arts, tagged "old man" weeks away from 40 myself. 💀

doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.

▶️ PARALLAX

SONG LIST:

Willem Dafoe by Szilveszter Makó | GQ. December, 2023

I love parents in gay dramas. What Did You Eat Yesterday? / Kinou Nani Tabeta?

The line ‘ARE YOU HALF ASSING THE GAY LIFETSYLE’ speaks to me on a personal level

I love how they’re not even mad about their son beinf gay but like BITCH WE‘RE MEETING HIM AND IF WE DONT YOURE A DISGRACE

The parental guilt trip is so fucking universal omg I love it.

You hide your boyfriend from your parents?! You hide your boyfriend like you are ashamed??!!! Oh jail for son!! Jail for son for 1000 years!!!

HOLD THE PHONE there’s a live action version of What Did You Eat Yesterday?? how did I not know this!?

everyone should read the manga this is based on! the protagonist is a 40 year old Shiro, a gay lawyer who is somewhat neurotic and is not used to society being increasingly accepting of gay people since he’s been in the closet for so long. Introverted Shiro is held in contrast to his boyfriend Kenji, who is out and proud and a social butterfly. The story is a slow paced character study on aging gay couples and how being queer is perceived by society. We get the perspectives of the gay couple, their families, their friends and their co-workers.

btw this line in the manga was “is being gay a joke to you??”