People have tagged me and mentioned this thread, so I’m wading in again.
First, let it be understood that while I like Molly, she’s not a character that is ‘near and dear’ -- I feel no need to gallop to her defense out of some devotion to her.
That being said, there’s a lot about this that people overlook. First, and this really can’t be underestimated: ‘Red hair, hand me down robes, must be a Weasley.’ In the books, the Weasleys are always described as dressing poorly. Why? Why on EARTH would ANYONE dress poorly if they didn’t have to? “You know what, hon? I think it would be a ginger keen idea to advertise our poverty by the way we dress!” Said no witch or wizard, EVER. I don’t know if there’s a magical law to explain why this isn’t possible, or if JKR wrote herself into a hole while she was trying to stress the fact that the Weasleys were poor. Either way, magic isn’t the fix all solution that everyone seems to think it is.
Point two. The ball hadn’t been a thing for YEARS. Supply lists don’t seem to come out more than a few weeks before the school year starts. So unexpectedly, Molly is presented with the cost of four sets of dress robes. Those of you who have ever been on an extremely tight budget, I can feel you sphincters clenching in sync. There’s no way she had time to allow for those kind of purchases. And you know what? She probably went to every secondhand shop, every sales rack in the area (along with a ton of other witches) to find something. Raise your hand along with me if you were the kid who always wore a funny size. Funnily enough, the year or the YB was the year of my own Neon Plaid Atrocity. I was a very, very thin and tall child (sound familiar?) and when it was time for a swimsuit, nothing fit. Nothing, except the most blindingly awful neon plaid suit you had ever seen--at some of the color joinings, they were muddy and almost pee colored. My mother, bless her, not only took me to every store in town, but in towns an hour away. Oh, we did find one other suit that actually fit, but even at that age I knew that $60+ dollars for a child’s suit that would only be worn a few months was ridiculous. But there was no other choice and I wanted to swim, so I made do.
As some have also pointed out, Molly doesn't have the best taste. Have any of you looked at prom and bridesmaid dresses from the 60s-80s? It’s not for the faint of heart. They are, for the most part, awful. But you know what? For every hundred or so comments making fun of them, there’s someone who wore them who still genuinely finds them attractive. The robe in question could have very well been something that Molly had seen prominent wizards wearing in her youth, and not see why it’s any big deal. We have all received articles of clothing from That Relative that will never see the light of day, no matter how lovingly given.
Admit it, someone is saying, ‘But Arthur had dress robes!’ Sure he did. As a Ministry worker, he probably had to own a set for various events. And if you think that any spares hadn’t been scavenged by Bill or Percy by this point, you're kidding yourself. Also, while Ron is tall, he’s 14. Arthur is also tall, and even if thin he would be broader, so even on the off chance Ron got it, he would look like he was playing dress up in Daddy’s worn out robes. Not the look he was going for, and yes, he would have complained. Let’s also take into consideration that Ron would be holding them hostage for months, and as a 14 year old boy, there’s a better than good chance that he would ruin them, or wad them up and lose them, all in all not a really good decision.
But she bought Harry nice robes! Yeah. She did. With HIS money. Which meant that she was able to buy it in a shop that wouldn't have anything really bad looking in it anyway. And no, she couldn't have used the money to buy something for Ron. That’s a misappropriation of funds, and it’s a big no-no when you're managing money for a minor and can come back as a lovely lawsuit years later. I get it, Harry wouldn't have done that, but I think I can safely say we’ve all been hurt by someone who ‘wouldn't have done that.’
I think the robes have been pretty much covered, so let’s move to her reaction when he complained. Do you honestly think that Molly didn't wish she could buy nicer things for all her children? Of course she did. She would’ve loved to have taken him shopping for robes for his first ball. And when you can't do things like that for your loved ones, you get frustrated a defensive, and complaints feel like an attack. But Ron didn't just complain. He complained in front of Harry. A guest. He pointed out their lack of money in a way that would not only be embarrassing to Molly, but to Harry as well--he was clearly uncomfortable in the book. Not only was a guest in her house made to feel uncomfortable, but he was also made to feel guilty over his own robes--he was robbed of his own chance to take pleasure in something that with his family, he had always been denied. He was made to feel like having something nice was something he should be ashamed of. And honestly, no mother would want her own child to make another feel like that. Ron should have gone to her privately to talk about it. Now, the Weasley kids are short tempered and sassy, and they didn't lick it up off the ground. Molly snapped and said something over the top, like any of them would have. And I know that those of you considering being mothers out there think that you'll be a wittier, more empowered June Cleaver, cooly dispensing wisdom and solving every problem perfectly, but you won't. That isn't a criticism or an insult, just a basic fact of human nature. At some point you're going to screw up royally, and I hope to heaven that people show you a bit more mercy and understanding than some have shown for Molly.
And finally, let’s not forget Ron. Did he try to solve things himself? There was nothing to stop him doing some research into the subject. Did he? No. Did he ask for help? He didn't ask his family. He didn't ask Harry or Hermione. He didn't ask McGonagall. He shoved his problem in a trunk and ignored it, and then was mad when someone else hadn't solved it for him. And honestly, if you look at his character development, that’s so perfect! What does Ron do emotionally when he has problems? He represses them instead of confronting head on and dealing with them, until it gets out of control and explodes. Really, I think it’s a good illustration of where he was as a person, and how differently he would have handled the situation three to four years later.