Hey there! I've got a few messages like this sitting in my inbox so I thought I should probably answer! First of all: Thank you guys for checking in on me! I'm sorry, I just kinda abandoned this blog but as my last post said, I stepped away from tumblr a few years ago, that's why I haven't posted anything here. I didn't mean to ignore your messages, I just kinda forgot to check here .-.

But I'm still doing well! I broke up with my toxic ex-boyfriend, moved away from my toxic parents, fell in love with an awesome man and finally found a job that's not destroying me mentally haha! (I dropped out of college though, but I plan on going again after my apprenticeship).

I also found out why I had all these mental health issues, turns out I had ADHD (and probably maybe autism, still being evaluated on this one) the whole time. I've been on meds for a year now and I feel like I finally have control over myself and my life.

So all in all, I'm doing great and I hope you guys are doing great as well! <3 Stay safe, stay strong, keep fighting <3

Checking my tumblr after years and I am so glad to see that there are still Preston Positive blogs out there! He's a good boy and deserves all the love <3

2016 is such a horrible year. It didn't have to take Carrie away from us.

Gr8. I thought i figured everything out and now i made things even worse

I think i might update this blog this week. I miss u guys so much <3

I just talked to my psychiatrist and he said i should go to a hospital again. Fuck this.

I will post little updates from time to time to make sure no one worries about me. I'm alive and still safe and I can talk to my psychiatrist next Monday. I think it's time for another playthrough of Fallout :^)

I am safe

Thank you for all your kind messages, I'll be answering them later today. First of all: I am safe now. What happened: I got fired from my job because of my depression. I'm devastated, I didn't think this would happen, it came out of nowhere. I still feel bad and unhappy but I am safe now. I did not call or text a hotline like you all suggested but I would have, if crisis hotlines in Germany were any good (last 4 times I called no one even answered >.>). I managed to call a friend though and he helped me through the night, calming me down and talking about random stuff with me. My mom is taking care of me now and I'll do my best to see my psychiatrist asap (I need to work on my medication and ne to discuss how to proceed from now on, maybe I'm going back to the hospital). I'm sorry to keep you worried for so long and I hope I can work on this page again now. Thank you all for your messages, I read all of them, I'm gonna answer them today.

Seriously, i feel like committing...

I'm not ok