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promises are pie crust

@promisesarepiecrust

easy to make, easy to break
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what I love about transformative fandom: “these are MY little meows meows and girlbosses and i love them, and even though author fucked the ending and ruined the story for me, he is but a dead god and i am a non-believer. i will build a house from his bones and a temple from the fallen city on the hill and that is where my blorbos will live happily ever after.”

meanwhile, in curative fandom: “AXSHULLY, the eeby of the tragic deeby was thematically described by the author’s notes in volume 17 on page 93 in appendix b.2.1.3. and in minutes 67:16-97:13 of this celluloid-archived interview from 1997. glup shitto’s eebying into deeby is really frelling complex and if you don’t understand it, it’s because you can’t rationalise the logic of his character. i wonder if you even groked the plinko’s fate? maybe you don’t get how he’s borko’d with scrunglo as well as i do. i’d explain more to you but someone insulted the author’s genius and i need to fight for his honour like it’s battle of gondor’s end and aragorn just blew the horn”

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farmside

watched this for the first time when i was 14 i think? it saved me

Knew what this was before I clicked and had to watch the whole thing again.

If you haven’t seen it, now’s your chance!

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Hard for me to put into words but I’ll try: some of the the methods we teach for controlling anxiety are terribly flawed because overcoming fear isn’t about control, it’s about trust

one of the classic anxiety-fighting strategies is to “focus on what you can control.” It’s flawed for a few reasons: first, anxiety is invariably about things out of your control, so this strategy can’t directly address the anxiety. second, control as a way of obtaining security is something that turns into an unhealthy coping mechanism really, really fast.

third, it’s just an extremely individualistic strategy. It encourages people not to seek out communicative and relational solutions to their fears. You’ll never be able to control other people, so turning to what you can control to fight anxiety is inevitably to turn away from others.

I had a realization earlier about how much more sense it makes to ask, “what can I trust in this situation?”

There are a lot of answers to that question: facts (I know the statistical likelihood of Bad Thing happening is very low), oneself (I know I can use various strategies to help myself feel better), other people.

Now, as a beginning strategy, this is not so helpful, because trust is much harder than control. But I think trust is where you are trying to get in overcoming anxiety, not control.

The important thing is that while you can’t control another person, you can (at least eventually or in theory!) trust another person. If you find that there is a trusted person in the situation, they can provide support and help you. If there isn’t, that allows you to ask why. Depending on the situation, it could be a worthwhile question because it could lead to “why doesn’t this person feel safe for me?” or “what would it take for me to trust this person enough to feel safe?”

It’s kind of a way to interrogate the unsafe feeling, and specifically to work out if you have needs that are not being met or uncommunicated concerns that you could have a conversation about.

Obviously this isn’t applicable in every situation, but the thing that made me realize this was my own situation (for background, I have a deeply debilitating fear surrounding doctors and basically all medical procedures). The sense of not having control is a huge part of my fear, I think, and “focusing on what I can control” hasn’t done shit, ever.

What I’m missing is a lot closer to trust than control. Once I realized that, I realized “you don’t trust doctors and nurses…why?” would have gotten me to the point of understanding what was going on with me like 6 years earlier.

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schmergo

I feel like there’s literally no stronger swear word than when a girl in bonnet in a movie says something like, “But Lady Snapplecap says I cannot until I come of age!” and a dude wearing pants tucked into his boots and an open shirt replies, “DAMN Lady Snapplecap!” with the force of 435 F-bombs

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Mitski for Pitchfork // Richard Siken for TinHouse

- extract from a christine and the queens interview that I saved in my journal

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soozspov

Jeanette Winterson, from Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

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You gotta have a plan…

This is the mist motivational and inspiring thing I’ve seen all goddamn week

This is incredible.

Rational thought is Gandalf and I love this

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“I have a dream,“ he said slowly. “I persist in dreaming it, although it has often seemed to me that it could never come true. I dream of a home with a hearth-fire in it, a cat and dog, the footsteps of friends – and you!”

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“Some years ago, I was stuck on a crosstown bus in New York City during rush hour. Traffic was barely moving. The bus was filled with cold, tired people who were deeply irritated—with one another; with the rainy, sleety weather; with the world itself. Two men barked at each other about a shove that might or might not have been intentional. A pregnant woman got on, and nobody offered her a seat. Rage was in the air; no mercy would be found here.

But as the bus approached Seventh Avenue, the driver got on the intercom. “Folks,” he said, “I know you’ve had a rough day and you’re frustrated. I can’t do anything about the weather or traffic, but here’s what I can do. As each one of you gets off the bus, I will reach out my hand to you. As you walk by, drop your troubles into the palm of my hand, okay? Don’t take your problems home to your families tonight—just leave ‘em with me. My route goes right by the Hudson River, and when I drive by there later, I’ll open the window and throw your troubles in the water. Sound good?”

It was as if a spell had lifted. Everyone burst out laughing. Faces gleamed with surprised delight. People who’d been pretending for the past hour not to notice each other’s existence were suddenly grinning at each other like, is this guy serious?

Oh, he was serious.

At the next stop—just as promised—the driver reached out his hand, palm up, and waited. One by one, all the exiting commuters placed their hand just above his and mimed the gesture of dropping something into his palm. Some people laughed as they did this, some teared up—but everyone did it. The driver repeated the same lovely ritual at the next stop, too. And the next. All the way to the river.

We live in a hard world, my friends. Sometimes it’s extra difficult to be a human being. Sometimes you have a bad day. Sometimes you have a bad day that lasts for several years. You struggle and fail. You lose jobs, money, friends, faith, and love. You witness horrible events unfolding in the news, and you become fearful and withdrawn. There are times when everything seems cloaked in darkness. You long for the light but don’t know where to find it.

But what if you are the light? What if you’re the very agent of illumination that a dark situation begs for?

That’s what this bus driver taught me—that anyone can be the light, at any moment. This guy wasn’t some big power player. He wasn’t a spiritual leader. He wasn’t some media-savvy “influencer.” He was a bus driver—one of society’s most invisible workers. But he possessed real power, and he used it beautifully for our benefit.

When life feels especially grim, or when I feel particularly powerless in the face of the world’s troubles, I think of this man and ask myself, What can I do, right now, to be the light? Of course, I can’t personally end all wars, or solve global warming, or transform vexing people into entirely different creatures. I definitely can’t control traffic. But I do have some influence on everyone I brush up against, even if we never speak or learn each other’s name. How we behave matters because within human society everything is contagious—sadness and anger, yes, but also patience and generosity. Which means we all have more influence than we realize.

No matter who you are, or where you are, or how mundane or tough your situation may seem, I believe you can illuminate your world. In fact, I believe this is the only way the world will ever be illuminated—one bright act of grace at a time, all the way to the river.“

–Elizabeth Gilbert

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when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

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cowboyhats

Michelle K, I Know I Deserve More

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quousque

YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERS ME

when fantasy books describe the cloth of Quant Farmpeople’s clothing as “homespun” or “rough homespun”

“homespun” as opposed to what??? EVERYTHING WAS SPUN AT HOME

they didn’t have fucking spinning factories, your pseudo-medieval farmwife is lucky if she has a fucking spinning wheel, otherwise she’s spinning every single thread her family wears on a drop spindle NO ONE ELSE WAS DOING THE SPINNING unless you go out of your way to establish a certain baseline of industrialization in your fake medieval fantasy land.

and “rough”??? lol just because it’s farm clothes? bitch cloth was valuable as fuck because of the labor involved ain’t no self-respecting woman gonna waste fiber and ALL THAT FUCKING TIME spinning shitty yarn to weave into shitty cloth she’s gonna make GOOD QUALITY SHIT for her family, and considering that women were doing fiber prep/spinning/weaving for like 80% of their waking time up until very recently in world history, literally every woman has the skills necessary to produce some TERRIFYINGLY GOOD QUALITY THREADS

come to think of it i’ve never read a fantasy novel that talks about textile production at all??? like it’s even worse than the “where are all the farms” problem like where are people getting the cloth if no one’s doing the spinning and weaving??? kmart???

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systlin

THANK U

pro tip: what do you say instead? I gotcha.

 In Ye Olde Medieval Fantasy Dayes, everybody’s layer against skin (shirt tunic or shift) is gonna be linen. it’s almost never wool except stockings or hose (like pant legs). Say “undyed cloth” if you wanna make them sound simple and peasanty. Comment on how you can tell it wasn’t made for them (the fit is off) and has had probably eight owners before. 

Outer clothing is gonna be either wool, or a blend called Linsey-woolsey, and again you could say Undyed, but dyes are not only common they are CHEAP and relatively easy. (innerwear is often left undyed or bleached to white because it gets washed to heck- like beaten by a wooden stick on a stone by the river- and dye would just fade out a lot so why bother. Ths is also why innerwear has ties, rarely buttons, unless you are so rich you have people doing your washing delicately because they’re hired to do only that. Buttons would get broken in the washing)

A poorer person is often seen in “russet”, a kind of rusty orange-brown color. Purple was famously reserved for royalty in many times and places, but its  also just hard to do. We see a lot more magentas and fuschias for nobles or common middle class folks than we ever see of Purple- and not many of those. Deep blue was more likely on very rich people, but a light blue was common for even poorer folks. Yellow was popular with everyone, and so was green, and many shades of reds, including the color we now call orange (they did not- this is why redheads are called redheads and not orangeheads). Your vision of everyone in very drab brown and mud colors is from Hollywood- most medieval-ren folks have clothing with colors. Sometimes garish colors, to the modern eye. Traffic cone Orange and acid green was a popular combo in the 13th century.

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elfwreck

Example medieval dye colors. Lots of yellows and orangey-browns. Woad gave a range of blues that are basically what we think of as “denim colors.” There were purples - royal purple was a specific color from a specific source - but if you mix wine-dye and woad-dye, you get purpleish dye. (Getting the color to stay that way may be more difficult. Everything worn by peasants fades; they couldn’t afford the really good fixatives.)

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Plum, dusty purple, lavender, burgundy, chestnut, blood red

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Walnut, chocolate, tan, linen, pale apricot, spice, dark spice

Peasant clothes were often more colorful than the nobility. Nobles could afford bright, clear colors that peasants couldn’t - but one mark of wealth was being able to buy all 4-8 yards of fabric for an outfit at the same time. So nobles would have a full outfit, including hat, stockings, even shoes, of one type of fabric (with ornamentation of a contrasting type, and as many buttons or bits of silver as they could get away with wearing), while peasants would often have a shirt, bodice or jerkin, skirt or pants, stockings, and hat of all different colors.

Dying or re-dying any one piece of clothing was within most of their cost limits - dye itself is cheap; fixatives cost. But boiling your shirt for an hour with onion skins in a copper pot would re-color the fading fabric.

And yet more medieval dye colour samples:

While centered on medieval Europe for the finer points, this is broadly true for any clothing needs

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gethporno

if anyone is interested in way too much information about the spinning, weaving, dyeing, and trading of cloth in ye olden days, pls see these lecture notes by my old economic history prof, who knew more about the textile industry in pre-modern europe than any reasonable person should. they’re old at this point but still pretty reliable.

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dduane

This is a bit of a hot-button issue for me… so reblogging with pleasure.

The tl:dr; version of my usual complaint: I love Terry Jones’s work, but he (and MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL) have a lot to answer for in the “Medieval Life Was Irredeemably Mucky / Everything Was Drab” department. In the wake of that film, practically all the everyday color of Non-Royal medieval life got washed out of public perception. And it makes me cranky.

Period records make it plain that even among the Poor Folk, color was rife. Many people far more specialized and knowledgeable in this field than I am have gone on about this at length. I’m just signal boosting here.

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As far as ethical materials go you can't really get better than wool.

The sheep need the hair cut.

Nothing dies for it.

Sheep live pretty much wild for most the year.

Placed correctly they maintain a landscape and help the wildlife that live there to thrive.

Doesn't use Vast Quantities of land for little product.

Not draining inland fresh water oceans.

Been spending thousands of years perfecting the genetics for this purpose.

Comes in many different kinds of uses.

And the animal it comes off is fully edible.

My main issue with it is it has fallen so out of fashion that it pays the farmers who make it more to transport it than they get per fleece, and people have really fucking weird hang ups about the ethics of giving a sheep a hair cut.

Sheep can get infested with wool maggots if they are not shorn.

Also an unshorn sheep can drown if it falls into water, just by the sheer weight of the water its wool can absorb, dragging it down.

A Tunis sheep can live in a large doghouse, and staked in a different place every day, will mow your lawn (buy they get lonely. Buy two).

Light shearing nicks heal fast because the sheep’s waxy lanolin coats their skin. Though most sheep farmers won’t Nick the sheep bc it gets blood on the wool.

Sheep farmers MUST treat their sheep with care, because any little thing that upsets sheep affects the quality of their wool.

Even “natural” fibers like bamboo take TONS of water to process and alkaline dyes to color them. You can dye wool with unsweetened koolaid.

Wool can be worked into felt which is naturally water-resistant in inclement weather, and wool also retains its ability to insulate you from cold even when it's wet, unlike other materials.

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I just realized how fucking disgusting it is that it’s considered healthy and normal for teenage boys to eat everything ever yet teenage girls are obviously also growing but are fucking dieting all the time and shamed for eating while they’re growing

Shit

That’s not even the half of it because

- often when a teenager (male or female) puts on some fat it’s in preparation for a growth spurt. Grownups know this. 

- teenagers grow in weird gawky ways, like a girl’s hips will spread out and look “fat” until her legs get longer, or they’ll shoot up super tall and then slowly put on muscle and fat. Grownups know this. 

- it’s very common for a women’s body weight to fluctuate plus or minus 5% with her menstrual cycle

but in the diet mentality all of these things are considered personal moral failures, a failure of control, when controlling it is literally impossible. I am so incredibly saddened by women who weigh themselves multiple times a week and fuss over ten freaking pounds when that’s well within the bounds of menstrual fluctuation + just-ate-lunch. It’s horrible.

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welkinalauda

“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.” – Naomi Wolf

Grown ups really do not know this. I tell this to parents at least once a week, your child is sleeping/moody/putting on weight because their body is preparing to more or less jump the Grand Canyon of maturation stages. Hormone changes start a full YEAR before first menses.

My own mother, who works in the medical field and has worked solely for OB/GYN for the last 16 years, gave me grief about all of those things. And she knew about hormone level changes and weight distribution changes and she STILL did it. Don’t think hard facts will outweigh societal norms. Keep talking about it until they can’t ignore the facts

Eat!!! Food !!

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agileo-101

*Screams* THANK YOU!!!

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willidleaway

Am I the only one that’s a just a tiny bit pissed off that this is still an issue?

The Original Series wasn’t even in the general VICINITY of fucking around yo

How many shows these days would do this, and do it this way? These days, it would be all, “Ohh, we have to be sensitive and show the nuances of each side” and try not to make either side seem wrong. It wouldn’t be clearly spelled out, “pro-choice is right, if you’re against it you’re the bad guys.”

Jim Kirk is not here for your anti-birth-control, anti-choice, pro-death-penalty BS

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chandri

James Tiberius Kirk was written and portrayed as a feminist and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

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ellidfics

Yep.  That episode is exactly what you think it is:  pro-birth control, pro-population control, pro-choice, and pro-women’s right to choose.  And yes, Kirk, the supposed playboy of the spaceways, is in favor of all of the above.

It was written and aired in 1969.  

It probably couldn’t air today.

THINK ABOUT THAT.

Also LMAO at all the sad whiny geek boys who are like “I miss the GOOD OLD DAYS of SCI-FI when it wasn’t all about SOCIAL ISSUES and instead it was just about MEN HAVING FUN IN SPACE. Like Star Trek! Star Trek wouldn’t put up with all this SOCIAL JUSTICE FEMINISM IN SCI FI bullshit!” And meanwhile I’m just over here like “…did you actually watch the show?” 

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prokopetz

It’s also important to bear in mind that the Original Series had a predominantly female fanbase, and during its initial run, was widely mocked and dismissed by mainstream (i.e., male) science fiction fans as being fake sci-fi for girls. It’s difficult to overstate the influence women had on the franchise in its early days; most of the early Star Trek conventions were organised by and for women, and indeed, those same organisers were primarily responsible for the massive letter-writing campaign that prevented the show from being cancelled after the 1968 season. Without that campaign, the episode pictured in this post would never have been made.

The popular image of James Kirk as a sleazy womaniser is part of a conscious effort to erase that history and render the franchise’s roots palatable to the misogynistic geekboys of the modern SF/F fandom.

And a gentle reminder that TOS was a Desilu production, which its board of directors voted to cancel after the second pilot due to cost concerns, a vote that Chairman Lucille Ball overruled. There is no Star Trek without Lucille Ball.

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kailthia

The writers of The Original Series shoved as much good stuff into their series as they could while making a smokescreen of other stuff to cover it up. For example:

  • make the main cast phenomenally multicultural for it’s time while using white “all-American” guys like William Shatner as a front to make the show look more palatable to conservatives. The bridge crew included a Jewish actor, Leonard Nimoy, and a character who was Russian during the cold war. And notably, Nichelle Nicholls, a black woman, and George Takei, a Japanese-American, whose characters were treated with equal respect and dignity to the other characters.  
  • making the show deliberately racy (for the time period) so that conservative people would focus on the sexy bits instead of the very real and scathing political commentary going on in a lot of the episodes
  • being aggressively feminist. Discussed above, but shown in lots of ways. like, the miniskirts? during the 60s, women were all for them because it showed that women could be feminine and professional. 
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iwrestlenow

Just want to throw in my two cents. Literally.

Because of shit like this. Period.

ALL OF THIS

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someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

A handy table for everyone:

Y’all have no idea how happy it makes me to see my goyim followers reblogging this. Really. It means the world to me.

Oh SWEET, a table!

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angieartness

OH SWEET MERCIFUL EXCEL TABLES

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