I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

ok

update: we are dating

update: we are married

I love happy endings

THIS IS THE KIND OF QUALITY CONTENT I EXPECT FROM THIS PLATFORM.

could you imagine The Enterprise having like a yearly inspection and Kirk bugs out every time because the best running ship in the fleet certainly doesn’t become so because they follow the rules. He has to remind the crew a week in advance to actually call him Captain and use formal titles. Bones and Scotty’s shared bathroom which is one hundred percent a liquor cabinet/distillery cannot be a thing. Sulu has to collect all of his plants out of everywhere that’s not the Botany Labs and hide the illegal ones he picked up during their journey in his quarters. Scotty has to remove all of his Scotty-Approved-Modifications from Engineering. Spock can’t work four shifts in a row and break the ensigns that challenge him in the gym to sparring matches. Bones can’t medically offer alcohol to anybody. Uhura needs to not curse every ten minutes, in any language. Chekov needs to focus more on his console and less on every pair of legs walking by his station. 

Nurse Chapel needs to actually do what McCoy says, rather than agreeing with him then doing something wildly different but more productive and helpful. Bones isn’t allowed on the Bridge unless called. Spock needs to sit at his console, standing up and leaning over all coy is actually a safety hazard. Scotty can’t use scottish slang over the comm system

But then something *happens* like it always does to Kirk–the “hole in space/giant glowing hand” kind of thing–and all of that goes out the window–in the course of, say, 38 hours Jim gets called “jim” 50 times, Spock never goes off shift, the ship is hit and all of sulus plants fall out of the closet they were stuffed in, uhura is swearing up a storm and Scotty’s jurry-rigging everything, checkov gets caught staring at the pretty alien, and Chapel does her damn job thank you, and Bones appears in the bridge to yell at everybody like he does.

BUT, at the end of the day, Kirk has secured a new treaty because the culture values closeness over formality, Spock’s marathon at the science station has collected enough data to keep the academy busy for *months*, one of the aliens is fascinated by the plants ensuring a new collaboration between their scientists and starfleet, Scottys improvements to the systems prevent their new friends from getting eliminated by their enemies and uhura’s swearing intimidated the enemy into backing off, and the princess is totally ensnared with Chekov–oh, and Bones discovers the cure for the new mystery illness is the bathroom moonshine, and chapel saves the fucking day.

The inspector just throws up their hands because he’d read the Kirk file, *but he never believed it was true*

and stabby the knife wielding rumba stabs the inspector at least once

u know what’s weird.. that i’m going to like.. keep getting older.. and like i’m going to change.. experience personal growth and character development and shit.. like that’s wild

Asperatus Clouds are so rare that they were only classified as of 2009. We know little about them other than the fact that they look mesmerizing.

うなぎ(うなちゃん)‏

I ordered a blonde flat white from Starbucks while on my break and the barista must have been having a long day bc he goes “that would be my stripper name” and there was like five seconds of dead silence between us before he looked up realized he said that out loud

I deadass can’t help but laugh when people do this

I mean…I’d be concerned too

Bonus:

Any of these things can instantaneously cheer me up. >w< Also, bubbles.

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS

What even is that third one?

Someone: “Hey! How’s school going for you-”

b.p,  writing prompt #32: write about healing (via wnq-writers)