AU suggestion

Ransom and Holster are the kids in American Vandal

please… let them investigate dick graffiti in a documentary style

I am way better looking than that guy.

Noah Centineo as Peter Kavinsky in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

WATCH TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE! ANOTHER ROM COM WITH AN ASIAN LEAD! WATCH IF YOU LOVE FAKE RELATIONSHIP AUs! WATCH IF YOU LOVE MOVIES ABOUT FAMILY AND LOVE AND SISTERHOOD! AND IF YOU LOVE THE MOVIES,READ THE BOOK! SUPPORT POC MOVIES! THIS IS A BIG WEEK FOR REPRESENTATION! PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS AND SUPPORT THIS MOVIE!

John Mulaney + jokes about his dad

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

This would’ve been great an hour ago

If your anxiety includes rapid heartbeat for no reason then it may help to exercise! It helps for me because I’m focused on whatever moves I’m doing and breathing, and it gives my heart rate a reason to be that high so that I can start the slow cooking down process and (hopefully) bring that heart rate down with it. Look up a quick cardio workout on YouTube or something and just do it in your room!

This is so, SO true. 

All ‘doing something relaxing’ ever did for me was give my brain MORE free time to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. 

I like how this boil down to grabbing something then tell the brains weasels to GO FETCH YOU PIECES OF SHIT

I mean. 

That’s basically it tho. 

the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”

benjamin and jerrold’s

ok here’s a hot take: modern adaptations of pride and prejudice should replace Mrs Bennet’s obsession w/ marrying her daughters off with a determination to see them all be lawyers/doctors/engineers in their own right, and her frustration with Lizzie for refusing Mr Collins should be because she turned down the opportunity to have a lucrative and successful career in order to do what she wants, which is, like, journalism or something

Like it doesn’t help the plot in the same way but within context Mrs B’s motivations can be boiled down to “make sure all my daughters are taken care of and going to be comfortable in their lives” which, back in the day, meant marrying well, but nowadays would look more like a full ride to an Ivy League, and rather than being disinterested in their romantic endeavors Mr Bennet should be completely blase about Lydia and Kitty giving each other stick-n-poke tattoos and failing Spanish and getting arrested. Elizabeth tries and fails to talk him out of letting Lydia go to “leadership camp,” a lie she told her mother to cover up the fact that she’s definitely tagging along with some college kids to Mexico for spring break. Jane is in med school and Mrs B prays every night that she comes to her senses and decides to be a neurosurgeon instead of doing doctors without borders. Lizzie tells her mother she’s majoring in women’s studies over text message and ignores 16 furious voicemails in response, partially cause she doesn’t want to hear it and partially because she’s arguing with Darcy, whose first name she refuses to know because he’s too rich to deserve one, in her opinion. So, yeah, soccer mom Mrs Bennet.

Play idea: perform MacBeth, but when the witches are doing their prophecy thing, they segue into telling the story of Hamlet. Hamlet is chatting with the ghost when it starts telling a Midsummer Night’s Dream. The audience becomes slowly aware that the programs and advertisements did not publish a runtime for the performance. Ushers start handing out new programs, with new actors’ names on them in previously unmentioned roles. Every single known Shakespeare play is nested inside the performance. The theatre doors are locked. 

At intermission they play one (1) It’s Not Unusual