mom's dying.
for the two people who my post may reach and who may not know, my mom was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in january 2021 (actually, the same day as the capitol riot). she's been on a slew of different medications that have made her tremendously ill--she lost a ton of weight, and her gastrointestinal system has never recovered.
toward the end of 2023, she also began experiencing cognitive issues--she couldn't walk on one of her feet, she was clumsy and forgetful and prone to repeating herself or recalling conversations we'd never had. an mri was taken of her brain in february (i think?) and it was revealed that she has over *thirty-two* hemorrhagic brain metastases.
she and my father made the decision to stop her treatment over a month ago, and she's been at home on hospice ever since. i'd say it's a steady decline snf i think we may be reaching the end--she's sleeping a lot more and she's losing more and more interest in eating.
i recently re-entered therapy and psychiatric intervention to help me deal with all of this, and it's definitely making a difference (medication is definitely helping to regulate my emotions). i'm not as outwardly tearful as i once was, and i've had a lot of time to prepare myself for her passing, but i feel so hopeless and empty inside.
