Avatar

Jug and Betts Detective Agency

@jugandbettsdetectiveagency / jugandbettsdetectiveagency.tumblr.com

my hobbies include compiling factually incorrect snake metaphors | prompts are: schrodinger’s prompts | “it’s fiction and I am an adult”

as the colder months approach: i wish you all a healthy, calm end of the year. i wish you tasty cups of tea, comfortable clothes, warm beds, nutritious meals in safe homes, good music, new friends and unwavering health. you deserve good things now.

when I was 5 and in school we were given numbers and mine was 22 and I came into the year believing that the luckiness I’d attached to that number because I was 5 and lucky numbers were a thing one should have would prove itself to be a fallacy once again.

and now it’s nearing the end of ‘22 and I have never felt so lucky, so happy, so secure, so loved. I am loved and in love with for the first time in my long short life and I can’t help but stop and laugh like I do so often these days, that 5 year old me knew something 25 year old me didn’t, and that 22 was just waiting for me to catch up all along.

Happy Birthday!!! I hope you get to relax and enjoy it! Sending much love to you ❤️

Avatar

Thank you, winter 🥰 the UK is currently having an unprecedented heatwave so it’s been very sweaty, but still an enjoyable birthday nonetheless

today is @jugandbettsdetectiveagency’s birthday and i have been using it as excuse to frivolously indulge bc really anna is the other half of my brain, the person who listens to me endlessly drone on about life and celebrates even my smallest wins with me, one of the kindest and most generous people i have ever known. and of all the places in the world,that this person i met on the internet, who i have come to know and adore more than words can freakin say, could have lived… a freakin HOUR AWAY!!!!! feels like a reason to celebrate.

happy birthday bitch !!!!!!! i already texted u and u know i sent a birthday card but let’s do a little pda too. LOVE YOU !!!!!!

(srsly. an hour away.)

see you soon, can’t wait for our summer of fun.

my sun and stars etc ad infinitum, love you lots!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

For my non uk followers wondering wtf is going on:

- prime minister is a cunt. Had like a bajillion scandals

- latest one was apparently one two many. Two extremely important cabinet members resigned within minutes of each other

- within the next 24 hours about a third of the government resigned

- one resigned live on tv. Five resigned with the same letter to save time

- previous record for government resignations within 24 hours was 6 and it it was in the 1930s. We are, as I’m writing this, on 45 resignations

- Michael Gove, another cunt who is hated by all, was going to resign but was sacked instead in what appears to be the prime minister going “you can’t quit you’re fired!”

- government meetings are being cancelled because there is literally nobody in those departments anymore

- despite literally everyone begging him at this point to leave, including his most loyal little evil henchman, prime minister is refusing to resign in disgrace as is traditional for British prime ministers

- prime minister genuinely seems to be in complete denial anything serious is happening

- people are calling for Larry the Cat, no. 10’s chief mouser to be the next prime minister. When asked for comment, he licked his arse on live television

The terror that he’d felt, knowing what Nancy was willing to sacrifice, to trade, in exchange for his life, was overwhelming. He’d never experienced a feeling like it. He didn’t know what to do with it. 

 

It was a delicate thing, paper-thin glass placed in his palms and told to take care of. Ace knew how to worry in secret about those you were closest to. In his experience, if you drove them to frustration on the surface, kept them away from your problems, before they realised how much they were willing to risk for you, the bet never felt too high in your favour. 

 

He didn’t want high stakes with Nancy and the crew. He’d had enough for a lifetime with his dad, and then Laura, and then Grant. He wanted one thing that stuck. One thing without jeopardy. 
You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.