listen, dick winters may go down in history as peepaw petty when it comes to herbert sobel; and george luz may have successfully bamboozled him with his major horton impression during maneuvers in aldbourne

but NOBODY comes fucking close to ralph spina, easy medic of all time, and ssg al mampre (senior medic) putting herbert sobel under REAL anesthesia during a routine manuever (where he was simulated casualty) and performing a fake appendectomy on him just to throughly fuck him up in the head when he woke up

iconic and unhinged behavior. 1000/10 no notes. never get on a medic's bad side.

This needs to be slipped into more fics. I need to write him way more unhinged than I currently do. 😂

"I don't see how anyone can like stranger things after (insert thing from show)" baby I am in love with a version of stranger things that is so gay, so horny, and so far detached from canon that you wouldn't even be able to comprehend it.

not that joe keery isn’t a very attractive man but i absolutely love the mythos the fandom has constructed around steve’s beauty like he’s somehow simultaneously the most beautiful creature you’ll ever encounter in your life and just some guy. fic writers become divinely possessed by the muses when describing this guy’s moles. i’ve never felt more secure about my own brown eyes than when i read what people write about steve harrington’s otherworldly beautiful brown eyes. he’s both unobtainable handsome and your boy next door.

you can pry happy endings from my cold-dead hands. It can be the most heart stopping, gut wrenching fic that has every existed and I will read every drop of it if I get my happy ending. I have had enough painful endings in real life, give me happy in my fantasy world. It can be at the last second, it can be a single sentence, even a single word. Give me all the angst and hurt in the world for 500,000 words, but please give me the comfort I need in the ending. please and thank you.

[very clearly enamored AND elated] He fucking bit me.

i'm founding a new school of media criticism which i've decided to call Bitism. the Bitist school of literary analysis asks a simple question: is this work committed to the bit?

you see, any work of fiction is either committed to the bit or it's not. the worst thing a piece of media can be is ashamed of its own premise, of the genre it in habits, of the tropes and aesthetics we expect from it. to be committed to the bit does not inherently make it good, but it makes it more worthy of respect than those which are not.

also, that's not to say that a story cannot parody or criticize the genre it inhabits or mimics. we can discuss the bit, we can deconstruct the bit, we can ask ourselves whether or not it's a good bit, but to commit to it first will strengthen these discussions, not detract from them. commitment to the bit is, after all, the first step to genuine sincerity. and sincerity will exalt and elevate parody such that it can stand on its own feet.

commitment to the bit turns melodrama into camp, elevates parody to biting commentary, and allows cringe to open up into a resonant, if unpolished, expression of true emotion.

fully expect bitism to take the literary world by storm sometime in the next few years.

all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

imagine, if you will, modern au David Kenyon Webster discovering fandom and fanfiction because his boyfriend, certified Fandom Old(TM) Joe David Liebgott, so happened to randomly mention it one night, while David is ranting about a show or book series gone wrong-- or, better yet, gone terribly, terribly right. And just like every story that was ever loved, he mourns its loss, and wonders, out loud, if there was a way to stay in this narrative, in this specific world, and with its characters?

Joe doesn't think when he replies; "Fanfiction, Web."

"What?"

"Fanfiction?"

"What's that?"

"... You've never--? Fanfiction! It's like. Fanart. But with stories."

And suddenly, this whole new world opens up.

anyway, this is just my long winded way of presenting to you the very funny scenario of Lieb trying to explain the mechanics of the alpha/beta/omega universe to Web.

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

OP this is EXCELLENT

Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.

A much more readable version that works with screen readers is here, though I have yet to figure out how to download it.

having a crush as an adult is so embarrassing i’m literally too old for this. i should be busy with my blacksmith apprenticeship or something

Non-sexual dominance is so cute-

"Come here, baby"

"Let me help you"

"Be careful"

"Come lay here, Princess"

"Sit on my lap, kitten"

"Come cuddle"

"Hold my hand while we're out"

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

How fucking old are you people?

normal amount

people get specific as they age

:O