Our fandom forbearers did NOT suffer through Anne Rice, strikethrough, and other bullshit for fucking ACOTAR and Harry Potter fans to fucking ruin it for all of us by selling fanfiction. I am not losing novel length yaoi epics because some of you don't know how to act in fannish spaces and yes I do blame the booktokification of fanfic but I also blame those of you that treat fandom like content to consume and not a community to engage with.

Seriously people, learn fandom etiquette. It exists, it exists for extremely good reasons, and it's been decades in the making.

TIL In 1926 the famous pianist Fats Waller (then 21) was kidnapped by Al Capone’s gang to play piano for his birthday. He basically went missing for 3 days and was returned unharmed but drunk.

via reddit.com

What this headline leaves out is that they kidnapped him by doing the standard mob thing of driving a car up, pointing a gun at him, and saying “get in”. Fats thought he was gonna be killed until Al told him he was a huge fan

Unharmed, heavily intoxicated, and I believe something like $1,500 wealthier.

Nonono we don’t get to ignore what was just said prior. What the fuck DO YOU MEAN THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR MOTHER SELLING YOU TO ONE DIRECTION????!

so easily we forget the lore of our forefathers.

It bears noting that Fats being $1500 wealthier in 1926 dollars is the equivalent of being about $25,000 wealthier in 2022 dollars

back when criminals had a respect for the arts

ID: screenshot of a tumblr tag that says “this is like the opposite of your mom selling you to One Direction.” End ID

“imagine caring so much about fiction” imagine being so lame that you scoff at the timeless human practice of falling in love with art and stories

website

StopNCII.org is operated by the Revenge Porn Helpline which is part of SWGfL, a charity that believes that everyone should benefit from technology, free from harm. Founded in 2000, SWGfL works with a number of partners and stakeholders around the world to protect everyone online

Sounds legit

… i admit it. I danced. src

the OG  (and if you don’t get it)

newbie fic authors, shooting themselves in the foot: This fic is bad haha I suck at writing lol I am being mean to myself in the hopes that you will be nice to me but actually am dissuading anyone from even clicking on my fic because all I have done to advertise it is tell you why you shouldn't read it

me: I am King Big Dick of Fanfic Mountain and I have arrived in your fandom with the Express Intention of writing my Very Favorite Fics, which I will generously allow you to read. You're welcome.

destiel and johnlock fans to buddie fans right now:

Fanfiction Writing Asks

is this orange or yellow.

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

hey op, what does this say?

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

Am I tripping?

Is that not 71?

You’re slightly colorblind, that is 74 and the color of the car is orange.

world heritage post

It’s orange

it’s literally 71

Bestie it’s 74

Y’all it clearly fucking says 21

where are you getting that from?

Babes it’s 81 what r yall seeing

its 74 bestie you might be colorblind

That 81 person can see shrimp colors

I took exactly the same image, increased the saturation, and shifted it to a part of the spectrum most people can see better.

For all your no-YOU-have-the-weird-color-vision argument-solving needs.

Also, the car is orange.

Posting this in case anyone is color blind and doesn’t know it lmao

@cartoondog

@identifying-cars-in-posts sorry if you’ve been tagged in this already but I have to know if this is a PriusC or not

I want to see a work of fiction that reverses the "vampires are snobby upper class, werewolves are brutish lower class" stereotypes

Consider a vampire's reliance on blood as a metaphor for living paycheck-to-paycheck and depending on the kindness of others to get by, and the desparation that can make one slip into taking.

@tiredspacedragon's tags.

So…Wolfgang von Uberwald?

love triangles can’t exist without at least 1 lgbt person. cishets just don’t know how shapes work

I’ve created this helpful info graphic

Most of the characters that people call a love triangle is really just a love corner. And the woman is usually backed into it.

yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you greedy fucks

good.

"We keep making our service worse, cancelling shows before their time, hiking up the prices, and generally ruining what once was a decent product--piracy keeps wining somehow. 🤷"

This wins the internet for 2024!! 😂😂

Brilliant 😂😂

Sweet tongues duel

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

Really, our only complaint, nationally, is that she should've called the cop a cunt.

How remiss of us not to include any pictures of the legend herself

I have no trouble understanding why she's the most popular among Western fans