the best things in life are free :)

checking over the work email five times to make sure i typed 'thanks for your quick response' and not the full lyrics to closer by nine inch nails

my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to

my friend liz had her spotify account hacked and literally didn’t realize for a year until I was talking about my decade in review playlist and she looked at hers and it was all brazilian music and she was like oh this explains why I would go to sleep listening to classical music and wake up and it’s playing trap. and also why there are like 30 playlists on my account that I didn’t make. she just thought spotify was like that

hand to god at some point my friend liz managed to fuck up her install of Portal so bad that it was displaying minecraft textures

like she’s bringing me dead mice

can you guys take my uquiz

(via @some-loser-called-jab )

never forget what they took from us.

Stop! Releasing 2 minute songs!! Idc about TikTok!!! If it's a banger it needs to be at least 3:30.

6:50*

UGH! NO I HATE ANY AND EVERY SONG LONGET THAN 4:00 BY DEFAULT!!!

You’re not a music lover you’re a music tolerator. this is a conversation for music lovers only, which you are not. Remember that

truly no video game moment will ever surpass the part in portal 2 where glados says "well, this is the part where he kills us" and wheatley says "hello, this is the part where i kill you" and you unlock the achievement titled "the part where he kills you" (description: this is that part) and the chapter title appears on the screen and reads: chapter nine: the part where he kills you

and then he doesn't

what are you even supposed to do when youre angry.  cant scream at anyone cos im not a dick. cant break anything cos i paid money for that. cant rip my hair out cos i need it on my head. literally what now

🚫 ca-dmv-bot Follow

Customer: FOREVER NOW AND KEEP YOURSELF SAFE

DMV: FUCK NASTY AND KILL YOURSELF

VERDICT: ACCEPTED

Stuffed animals will see a crack between the bed and the wall and go “is anyone gonna fall into that?” And not wait for an answer

someone watch him

In theory smoking is like unbelievably attractive. Damn shame about, like. The smell. And the cancer. Ah well, there's tattoos

Onion’s August crimes