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Shalom Y'all

@aintnochallahfaxgoy-blog / aintnochallahfaxgoy-blog.tumblr.com

It's your local Irish-Israeli-Canadian. 23. Alcoholic. Aspiring Architect. Failure. Bi.
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-i may or may not be having one of those periodic mental breakdowns where i eat everything, cry for hours, get drunk and then lament

-my parents

-my lack of friends

-the fact im living with my parents

-the fact i am a failure

-the fact i don’t have a job in my field

-the fact my job only pays 12.5$/hr and i can’t move out of my house

-the fact that i haven’t had sex in 10 months

-i havent had the companionship of a dog in a year, something i have always had.

-I havent had a smoke in a year. Normally this would be a good thing to celebrate. In this case, IT ISNT.

-the fact that because i live in the valley, it takes me 1 hour to get to anything my friends are doing, which fuels my FOMO and paranoia that everyone just tolerates me and actually wants me dead.

-Im a fat bastard and this job is just making it worse

-Im never going to be able to save any money to travel to europe and im just deluding myself

-I will forever limp through life dissapointing my parents and constantly wishing that they had aborted me rather than had me. I can feel it sometimes. They hate me. They wished they’d used a condom and never had me. They wish i was dead so they didnt have to deal with the constant failure that I am.

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hey guys

what happens if the

*lil wayne voice* call that

image

this entire post should not be a thing

Hey guys I just wanted to pop in and say that you’re all a bunch of disgusting demons from hell

Country Boys make do

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The North has been put through so much shit like can they just rule themselves?

House Stark deserves to keep the North out of the Seven Kingdoms, here for Northern autonomy

Honestly I’ve read every book, seen every episode, and could not agree with a fictional political idea more

While y’all discussing fictional nations can y’all give Scotland and Ireland some autonomy as well.

Or any of the other actual nations/states/people that have been colonized and had their autonomy taken by larger nation-states. 

Honestly, do we need pop culture metaphors for everything?

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Its been a milestone!

I have gone a year without smoking

Hallelujah!

I have also gone a year without a dog....

This is also the first year in...... 18 years that september does not mean returning to school.

Oh god what do I do with myself.

Oh god my life is in shambles

Oh god someone save me.

GIVE ME STRUCTURE

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i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

Not 19 shots but during my time at uni the local starbucks learned that i needed at least 7 shots of espresso, if not more.

I averaged 5 starbucks runs a day.

Do the math. I should be dead due to caffeine poisoning.

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me driving on the freeway: *going 50 mph*

marina playing: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT AND WHO I WANT TO BE. I KNOW EXACTLY WHY I WALK AND TALK LIKE A MACHINE

me: *speeds up to 160 mph towards a cliff*

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dicksplit

Chubby gay culture is having to send an additional message reminding the person you’re chatting with that you’re chubby so if they’re going to reject you they can do it sooner

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spacetushy

THIS THIS THIS

I have my height, weight, and the fact that I have a bear-type body listed in my profiles on various apps, and people are still consistently surprised when they see that I, in fact, have a bear-type body. Like the other day I sent some shirtless photos to a guy I’d been chatting with and he said, “wow.. didn’t realize u were so big” and did not speak to me again, as if it were some kind of treacherous surprise that a 6'1" 260lb man would be anything besides pure muscle

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