-i may or may not be having one of those periodic mental breakdowns where i eat everything, cry for hours, get drunk and then lament
-my parents
-my lack of friends
-the fact im living with my parents
-the fact i am a failure
-the fact i don’t have a job in my field
-the fact my job only pays 12.5$/hr and i can’t move out of my house
-the fact that i haven’t had sex in 10 months
-i havent had the companionship of a dog in a year, something i have always had.
-I havent had a smoke in a year. Normally this would be a good thing to celebrate. In this case, IT ISNT.
-the fact that because i live in the valley, it takes me 1 hour to get to anything my friends are doing, which fuels my FOMO and paranoia that everyone just tolerates me and actually wants me dead.
-Im a fat bastard and this job is just making it worse
-Im never going to be able to save any money to travel to europe and im just deluding myself
-I will forever limp through life dissapointing my parents and constantly wishing that they had aborted me rather than had me. I can feel it sometimes. They hate me. They wished they’d used a condom and never had me. They wish i was dead so they didnt have to deal with the constant failure that I am.