Get Back in the Fucking Box

Item: hair apple

NO. BAD FORKY. BAD.

CURSED

the best scp is the one where the inter-dimensional eldritch horror was described as “actively hostile towards humanity” but it wasn’t killing anyone it was just really racist

i think of “SKIN NICE AND FLEXIBLE? INSIDES FULL OF FLUIDS?” every goddamned day

ODR-SCP860 is a tense SCP horror game about a little blue key (SCP-860) that takes you to a freaky forest!

Read More & Play The Prototype, Free (Windows)

i want my house to be made of old soviet control boards

*wakes up at 6am full of joy* ohhhhohohohoh.. hhohhhhyes

YEAHH *my bare feet hurriedly slap along the tile floors * YEAHHHHHH

YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *STARTS SLAPPING BUTTONS RANDOMPLY* YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*LOUD ALARM STARTS BLARING* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this post contains such high concentrations of joy that i one day hope to feel

It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible soviet.

had to explain to new housemate that:

containment procedures

Item Number: SCP-BJ-J “Banana Jim”

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-BJ-J is to be kept on top of the microwave in the Site-19 break room. Any bananas found on top of the microwave are to be removed and placed in the fruit bowl nearby. All personnel onsite are to rotate SCP-BJ-J to face away from the wall after every use of the microwave. SCP-BJ-J is not to be removed from its place on top of the microwave, unless it os being used to perform tests. If SCP-BJ-J is found to be completely facing the wall, on-site security is to be notified, and SCP-BJ-J is to be moved to a new building temporarily.

Description: SCP-BJ-J is a small wooden figure of a cat, recovered from a house in █████. When placed on top of a standard microwave oven, it will rotate slightly every time the microwave is operated, turning slowly to face the wall behind the microwave. If it is allowed to rotate this far, the building it is in will begin to experience SCP-BJ-J’s anomalous effect, in which foods inside of the affected building (now designated SCP-BJ-J-1) will spoil remarkably quickly, at roughly the same speed as a common banana, regardless of ingredients or chemical composure. If SCP-BJ-J is allowed to face the wall for approximately two consecutive days, the effect on SCP-BJ-J-1 will begin to worsen, with the accelerated deterioration beginning to apply to non-edible objects, including parts of the building itself. If SCP-BJ-J is not placed on top of a microwave for a period exceeding twenty-four hours, its anomalous effect will immediately activate on the building or container it is in. Additionally, if SCP-BJ-J is successfully kept from facing the wall, it will seem to spontaneously generate perfectly ripe bananas on top of the microwave with it when it is not being observed.

Addendum 1: Why bananas? Why does a little wooden cat care about bananas so much? -Dr. ████

I think about banana jim every day

I’m sorry, Grimalkin (pictured below) broke Banana Jim in the early morning for reasons unknown. shortly afterward the microwave stopped working

now we have Nameless Adam, on microwave 2. he is hopelessly bleak

Source: [x]

Click HERE for more facts!

The Anomaly displays a complex array of visual communication that we still don’t fully understand. Its speed increases whenever hosts are nearby.

got bored tonite so i taught myself how to lockpick

I read spc lore as scp lore and just casually accepted that you are an unexplainable anomaly that the internet has become fans of lmao

honestly half the fun of that tag on information bout myself is the folks who accidentally read it and assume im some kinda writing cryptid 

Well you kind of are. -Roth

thanks scp wiki official when can i expect my issue number in the mail 

Eh. Don’t worry about mail. We’re sending a team directly to your location to bag n tag you.

-Roth

Make sure u bring at least 4 D Class to have muscle to bring my archives they’re heavy 

coming out of my cage and they're shouting oh fuck it's loose call for backup i repeat call for backup subject has breached containment

Early witnesses described the anomaly as having a glowing form before the arrival. Containment within the church has been successful.

Members of the church reported seeing “the Face of Christ” within the anomaly (which our cctv cameras have captured as well). We are unsure if this is a form of communication or mimicry from its surroundings.

Direct contact with the anomaly results in contamination.

Victims of the anomaly are kept in a quarantined medical bay where they receive careful treatment. All four victims (two staff, two church) have survived direct exposure to the anomaly.

Rooftop cameras have picked up footage of an entity (several?) trying to enter the church. We assume that they are drawn to the anomaly. 

Measures have been taken to keep the entities from breaching the containment area.

Red, platonic means non-sexual

oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

This is a corpse. That blinks.

That’s not creepy in the slightest.