Star Wars Blog I Guess

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Thank you, lady 🤗

The Nigerian accent. God. She reminds me of home…

Always grateful when this makes the rounds

drinkin' Jedi-style with some ~cerveza cristal~

Casually waiting to slice someone's arm off...

A companion piece to this post

Image description below the cut!

I think being a shapeshifter would fix me

Thinking about Predator Species Obi-wan.

The 501st and 212th are chilling on a planet after a campaign. Everyone setting up little campfires and cooking stations.

Rex is watching his General eat bugs, trying to be polite and not gag at the crunch of the beetle as he bites into it. "Sir we went hunting..." When that does not get a response, he adds "There are rations."

Anakin waves him away with the hand not full of bugs, squirming and wriggling. "Naw im fine." He grabs one of the thick round worms from his hand and slurps it up. Rex feels himself die a little inside.

Rex turns to Ahsoka to complain and finds her biting into a raw rabbit-like creature with a look of glee on her face, at least she has the excuse of biology. He keeps turning until he finds Cody. "I'll trade. Your jedi isnt feral."

Cody gives him a flat unamused look, shifting out of the way revealing Obi-wan gnawing on the bones of something, his fingers and the skin around his mouth are a little bloody still. The men are thanking him for catching whatever it had been for them to cook up. "Are you sure about that vod?"

Rex stares for a moment as he comes to terms with this revelation. "Does he also get 'the zoomies' and hunt the mouse droids?"

Cody snorts. "When something triggers his hunting instinct his eyes get all big and round. So far he hasnt hunted anything, droids or otherwise but I can tell when he has to talk himself out of it."

"And the zoomies?" Rex asks because he absolutely needs to know if the imagery in his head of Kenobi bouncing around the halls is true or not.

"Sometimes." His brother shrugs. "Mostly he climbs things." Cody says simply.

"Climbs things. Like?"

"Everything." Cody answers.

Yes that makes sense. It explains why the man is always climbing up into trees or scaling cliffs or perching on boulders or the walkers when they're brought out. "People?"

"Everything." Cody repeats. "He likes to 'have the high ground'."

"Are you the high ground?" Rex asks because he cannot help being a little shit.

Cody's flat bored gaze turns scathing, promising violence. "I will tell Skywalker you want to try those worms. Watch your mouth."

Threat noted and understood. Rex hears another crunch from Anakin's beetles. Ahsoka makes a happy whistle-click as a trooper hands her another little rabbit thing to tear into and he hears a snap a moment later from Obi-wan breaking the bone hes been chewing on, in between bites of the cooked meat Pudding hands him, to get to the marrow. Both Ahsoka and Obi-wan eating like they've been starving.

"Are they doing okay with just the rations?" Rex asks. His amusement and mild disgust turning into concern.

"Obi-wan says they're fine." From the tone of his voice he obviously doesn't trust that assessment. "Vacc is looking into it. Not much we can do though."

Rex nods. That's just the way of things. "I'll have Kix look into it too. He's already asked Kenobi if Skywalker was missing certain nutrients in his diet that he gets from insects." Rex says. His eyes shifting to stare at the man. "He said no. Skywalker just finds the taste enjoyable."

“Ready to go, little warrior?” “I’m not that  little.” “Yes you are, Jan’ika.” “You’ll see, Jaster, I’ll have another growth spurt soon.”

narrator voice: he did not, in fact, have another growth spurt

My friend sent me a pic of this baby cow, and it made me think of what baby banthas might look like. 🥺 Hence this drawing. I bet he had some baby bantha friends on Tatooine.

You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

Literally my favourite thing about Rogue One is that it makes the opening of New Hope so funny. Like, Vader has followed Leia from a planet he just blew up seconds ago and pursued her across the galaxy and then she’s just like: ‘I’m on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan’

Vader: You’re a rebel. I just had a fight with your entire rebel fleet and followed you here. Straight from the rebels. Of which you are a part

Leia: *dramatic gasp* rebel? Me???  I was just passing through. Diplomatically. Thought it was a five-space-ship pile-up or something going on there… 

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission? it’s more likely than you think

ok but this is like legitimate Canon Improvement because I’d always wondered why Vader was so wildly furious at the start of the movie like “rahhhhh bring me the passengers I WANT THEM ALIVE!!!!” and now I’m like

ohh yeah okay they literally JUST blew up Vader’s base, stole his sh!t, and took off while giving him the finger from the window

IT GOT BETTER

It is the best thing ever because it establishes that he knows she’s a Rebel and she knows he knows she’s a Rebel and he knows she knows he knows she’s a Rebel and—here’s the kicker—every moment she stalls him is another moment Artoo has to get the plans off the ship and head for Kenobi, and so she’s standing there all “Rebellion? What Rebellion? Me? *kicks dead Stormtrooper underneath carpet* I don’t know about any plans, have you checked behind the sofa?” and making Darth Vader’s blood pressure rise, and, oh, the best part of it is that she’s his daughter so guess where she got that sass from, like every fucking dead blue Force Ghost Jedi who got killed at the birth of the Empire is whooping and cheering from the Blue Force Ghost Afterlife seeing Anakin Skywalker get inflicted with everything they had to deal with from him.

You just know that enough people’s dying thoughts were, “I hope you have one just like you,” for the force to go, “this bitch deserves twins.”

It got better.

i don't think you guys get it, the thing about anakin and ahsoka. imagine you're ahsoka and you're thirteen and you're in a warzone and you've been not-so-randomly assigned a new jedi master. he gives you a stupid nickname and jokes around with you and loves you; he's the only person who believes in your innocence when it's questioned, he's that one person that believes in you more than anything. he finds it agonizing to let people go but he lets you go because he trusts you more than anyone. you were special to him and you knew it and there's a pride in that, because not many people were. imagine you're thirteen and it's war and there's explosions and fire and blood and death, and then someone takes your shoulder in his hand and is like, hey, relax. let's play a game. whoever slaughters the most droids wins. and it's easier to breathe because it's less pressure if you squeeze your eyes shut and think you're playing a game with your jedi master, and it will all be okay. you have such vibrant memories of being loved by this man and then, away from you, without you knowing, he turns around and murders a few thousand people all at once in one hideous bloodsoaked night. the hands that cradled your face and tilted it upwards to kiss your forehead are soaked in unfathomable quantities of blood. the person who made you feel that safe is the same guy who is so violent, so removed from any human compassion, that people whisper that he's a droid instead. the only person who believed in your innocence is a living nightmare. like actually what the fuck

why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen

WHERE was the finn as moses parallel in the rest of the sequels!! there was so much of it in tfa!!! WHERE was his Red Sea moment!!! where was his arc where he comes back to his people to free them!!!!! WHERE ABRAMS AND JOHNSON WHERE

disturbingly average customer service experience

One of my headcanon for the dyad AU is that sometimes Obi-wan and Anakin’s emotions and memories blend together, making it impossible to untangle their sense of self and it results in a lot of shenanigans, like:

Anakin and Obi-Wan do the sibling thing where Anakin will pull Obi-Wan's hair when he walks past. Then Obi-Wan will elbow Anakin the next time he's near him. Then Anakin stands on Obi-Wan's foot.

It progresses until Ahsoka, Rex, and Cody walk into find Obi-Wan hanging from a bar on the ceiling and choking Anakin out with his legs while Anakin tries to lean forward and bite his shins.