Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.

kafka was so right i literally could have built the pyramids with the effort it has taken me to cling onto life and reason

you heard of "I love you" "it'll pass" and "I'll go" "and I'll stay", now get ready for "how come no one found me?" "I found you"

all of us strangers (2023), adam & harry / portrait of a boy with grief, wale ayinla / sonnet of the wreath of roses, federico garcia lorca / an oresteia, anne carson / dancing with ghosts, hania rani & patrick wilson / every poem is a child of love, marina tsvetaeva / meditation: my grief, the sun, sanna wani

Bianca Stone, from What Is Otherwise Infinite: Poems; “Artichokes”

Savannah Brown, from Closer Baby Closer; “Notes on your dramatic exit from the house party”

Louise Glück, Poems 1962-2012 / Cynthia Ozick / Adonis, tr. by Khaled Mattawa, from ‘Celebrating Childhood’, Selected Poems / Gregory Orr, from “Origin of the Marble Forest” / Rainer Maria Rilke, tr. by. C.F. MacIntyre, Sonnets to Orpheus / John Boyne, The Absolutist

Margot Armbruster, from "Wormwood"

how does one even recover from this?

seven // peter

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." I want this on my tombstone.

maybe my friends can be the great loves of my life

seven - Taylor Swift // Dead Poets Society (dir. Peter Weir) // A Little Life - Hanya Yanigahara // Lady Bird (dir. Greta Gerwig // The Orange - Wendy Cope // Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (dir. John Hughes) // The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky // dedication on a bench // The Miseducation of Cameron Post (dir. Desiree Akhavan) // dorothea - Taylor Swift // Close (dir. Lukas Dhont) // Frances Ha (written by Noah Baumbach, Greta Gerwig) // The Perks of Being a Wallflower (dir. Stephen Chbosky) // The Long and Short of It - Richard Siken // The Goldfinch (dir. John Crowley) // Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

glyndebourne opera by charlotte boulton • your heart is the sea by nikita gill • the british museum • the laughing heart by charles bukowski • games with grandfather by alexander hohenlohe burr • dance with my father by luther vandross • grandfather and grandson by nikolaos gyzis

thinking about keanu reeves in this 90’s cover of the modern review

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’. / Wilhelm Sasnal  -  Untitled   (oil on canvas, 2017) / Amy Hempel, Cloudland / Malcolm T. Liepke (b.1953) American. / Lucille Clifton, from The Book of Light; “Climbing” / Lee Song, Four Meditations (2020), Oil on Canvas / Elena Ferrante, from Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay (translated from the Italian by Ann Goldstein)