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writings

@white-little-liess-blog

I write. If you use anything, please give credit.
Instagram: @white.little.lies
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In books, you read about the girl who couldn't be bothered with love. The young woman who is in love with her work or education that the thought of falling for someone never crosses her mind. Instead of going on dates, she goes to museums by herself and observes the wonders of art and history. She loses herself in novels during the first hours of the morning while others are laying by someone else's side, getting lost in each other's eyes. Her weekends consist of going on long walks, with just her and her thoughts of the world. Love is the one topic of conversation she would never contribute to. Then, there was you. The boy who bothered with love. After you approach her with this abstract concept, the thought of falling in love begins to creep into her mind. Soon she invites you to accompany her to the museums where you both debate about what the Mona Lisa is really about or why Van Gogh actually killed himself. The nights she used to spend reading alone are intermittently spent reading beside you, occasionally looking into your eyes to get lost for only a moment before reabsorbing back into her novel. And during the weekends, she sometimes goes on walks with you, talking about anything from the concept of infinity to the cardiovascular system. The concept of love is a conversation she can add to now. And while she has found a new kind of love with you, she will always love her work or education more. For that is a love that can never be separated by any force on earth. And if you truly are in love with her, you'll also fall in love with her work. You'll fall in love with the way her eyes intensify at the mention of her work, and how she could talk about it for hours on end if you gave her the chance. So please, cherish a woman who is in love with you as well as her work. She will love you deeply, so please don't break her.

I fell in love when I didn't know what love was

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I have always liked my people a bit damaged. A bit rough around the edges. A bit difficult to stereotype. A bit stranger than the normal crowd. I like people whose eyes tell stories and whose smiles have fought through wars. If you’re perfect, chances are, we aren’t going to get on. If you’re one of the cool kids, chances are, you won’t like me. You see, what I want is authentic. What I want to see is your purity, I want to see the way you wear your scars, I want to see how brave you are with your vulnerability, how emotionally naked do you let the world see you. Your damage may not be beautiful, but it has made you exquisite. It makes you original, different - and one of my kind of people because people like you are the most incredible things about this world.

Nikita Gill (via meanwhilepoetry)

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Maybe, meeting you—it was like a first kiss. A kiss like how they described it in books and how they’ve shown it in movies. Something like music without its lyrics, only those beautiful melodies. Something that will make you think of your wonderful dreams. Something that made your feet move up from the ground, that it feels like you’re flying. It’s like magic happening in reality. Meeting you—it feels like being excited about something that’s going happen. It’s like something that gives you mixed feelings, yet in the end, no matter how much it made you nervous, you’re still glad that it happened.

ma.c.a // It Was More Than Nice (via vomitingwords)

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It is never truly wrong to crave love from someone. No one ever said that it was a mistake to fall in love with someone you know who won’t feel the same way towards you. They call it unconditional love when you don’t expect anything in return. Selfless. Brave. When you accept that feelings sometimes will not be mutual. Yet I hope that you should be willing to give the same kind of love to yourself. That even if you did a lot of mistakes, you resist the urge to hate yourself. Instead, I hope that you forgive yourself and learn from lessons you will meet along the way. Because that needs a lot of patience, kindness and courage my dear. Loving yourself even if the world tells you not to. Forgiving yourself even if other people say you don’t need to. Being kind to yourself even if you sometimes think you can’t. Darling, this is what you should always remember, especially when you feel like everything around you seems to kill every little piece of you. Do not ever forget that you deserve love, more especially from yourself. Do not let your light fade away. Stars are there with a purpose. And so are you. Shine brighter. Live.

ma.c.a // Self love (via vomitingwords)

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wnq-writers
It’s never too late to start over. Leave the toxic relationship, leave the dissatisfying job, leave the city plagued with bad memories and importantly, leave the people you once loved. Embracing change and breaking past your comfort zone will be no doubt a very difficult decision. However you will be inspired; the greatest challenges you will face and overcome will force you to grow substantially on a personal level. Inevitably leading to a discovery of where you fit in this world; finally achieving happiness.
Source: wnq-writers
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I have a lot of bad days. Days when getting out of bed seemed near impossible. Days when having a shower was the biggest accomplishment of that week. Days when I forgot how to love myself. And days where the idea of dying was less frightening than the idea of living. Or in my case: surviving. I’ve been suffering with depression and anxiety now for the last five+ years. I dropped out of high school because of it. I quit my part time job because of it. I ceased doing the things I enjoyed doing because of it. And I almost took my own life because of it. The combination of depression and anxiety is life-threatening. After seeing over three different therapists, after attempting countless different medications, and spending a week in a psych ward– it’s safe to say I feel stuck. In my body. In my mind. Depression has planted a seed in my brain that has been sucking out every desire, every dream, every ounce of passion I once had, and leaving me with nothing but fear and self-loathing. At this point I’m desperate. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be writing this. My dad has found a residential recovery center called Emergo Recovery which is based in Ontario, Canada and is only a 90 minute drive away from me. They take on a holistic approach, which is extremely different from the previous approaches I had been taking. Their treatment requires you to stay there for at LEAST four weeks, though the average amount of time past patients have stayed has been six weeks.   This is not an inexpensive place. It costs almost six thousand dollars every week you are there, and only goes up in price after the four week mark. This is a plea, in every way imaginable. And if by some miracle, I were to raise any extra money– all of it would be donated to a charity that specializes in people who have been living with mental illness, and don’t have the means to get the help they so desperately need. Everyone deserves a dose of sunshine in their life. Some just need a bigger dose than others. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Whether you donate or not, it means the world to me. 

And if you could reblog this, that would be incredible. 

I will be reblogging this on here more than once. I will be tagging it with ‘signal boost’ and ‘gofundme’ if you would like to hide it from your dash. 

I just wanted to reiterate that I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. This was a scary step for me to take, and I’m reblogging it here because I’ve reached a following of over 40,000 people and even a 1 dollar donation could make all the difference in the world to me. 

But even if you can’t donate, I just want to thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you can, sharing this as well. 

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perrfectly
There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.

Emery Allen  (via perrfectly)

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She wanted you. She wanted you, but you didn’t want her back. And then suddenly, suddenly, you did, and she was everywhere. You couldn’t stop picturing her smile, and all you wanted was to hear her laugh. She moved into your thoughts and didn’t leave. You wanted her more than anything. But you hated yourself, didn’t you? You hated yourself because you were too late. You hated yourself because you lost her, you blew it, she’s gone.

she’s gone. (via storyiwillneverwrite)

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1. i’ve forgotten how your lips taste. i’ll never forget you. 2. i didn’t love you, and you deserved more than me. 3. maybe if you weren’t a homophobe, it could’ve worked out. 4. people said you were gay, and i cared too much. 5. you made me laugh more than cry. i cried lots. 6. thank you for reminding me to love myself; i’d forgotten. 7. i thought you were my soulmate. i guess people change. 8. you were wild. i wasn’t. something kept me coming back. 9. you used to love me. you didn’t when we kissed. 10. i could kiss you for the rest of my life.

ten words for the ten boys i’ve kissed - c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)

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One day someone is going to ask me about my first love. And I won’t say your name but your smile will still flash in my mind, I’ll still feel your warm touch against my skin, and your laugh will still ring in my ears. But I won’t tell them that. No, I won’t tell them of the boy who still haunts my dreams. I won’t tell them that I loved him so much that I carved myself hollow just so I could fill every inch of myself with him. They’ll never know the way my lips burned for his kiss or the way my mind was consumed with thoughts of him. No, I won’t tell them that. I’ll tell them about the boy that I thought I loved. That I was sixteen and foolish, but aren’t we all. I’ll say how I should have known better, how it wasn’t really love. I’ll say all the right things so that nobody knows just how much it hurts. No, they won’t know how much I regret it. Three years later and my heart still hurts like it was yesterday. I won’t tell them how much I miss you, but I will.
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and you’ll think you’re doing fine until you hear their name brought up in conversation and you have to stitch a smile on your face while your stomach plummets out of your body and through the floor. until you have a dream about them and they still love you and you wake up crying and you hit yourself because you were fine, you were surviving and you were getting through it. until an old friend you haven’t seen in a few months spots you at the store and the first thing they ask is, “how are you two?” and you have to tell them that it’s not two anymore and laugh it off like it’s perfectly okay, like you’re over it, but you’re clenching your fist in your pocket so hard your palm bleeds. you’ll think you’re not hurting anymore until you’re cleaning out your nightstand and you find an old photo of the two of you and the next thing you know you’re crying and you want to call them so fucking badly but you know they’ve changed their number because you’ve tried before. until you’re walking down the street and suddenly you smell something that reminds you of their hair or their clothes and then you can remember everything, from the way their eyes lit up when they talked about their favorite music to the taste of their skin and their tongue and you’ll think you’re doing fine until you can’t go anywhere without thinking you see them around every corner, in every store. until you can’t sleep without your dreams turning to nightmares of better times. until you realize you’re not fine at all, until you realize you’ve never been fine, you’ve never been over it. until you realize you still miss them more than anything. until you realize you still love them.

c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)

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“to do list (after the breakup): 1. take refuge in your bed. 2. cry. till the tears stop (this will take a few days). 3. don’t listen to slow songs 4. delete their number from your phone even though it is memorized on your finger tips. 5. don’t look at old photos. 6. find the closest ice cream shop and treat yourself to two scoops of mint chocolate chip. the mint will calm your heart. you deserve the chocolate. 7. buy new bed sheets. 8. collect all the gifts, t-shirts, and everything with their smell on it and drop it off at a donation center. 9. plan a trip 10. perfect the art of smiling and nodding when someone bring their name up in a conversation. 11. start a new project 12. whatever you do. do not call. 13. do not beg for what does not want to stay 14. stop crying at some point. 15. allow yourself to feel foolish for believing. you could’ve built the rest of your life in someone else’s stomach 16. breathe”

rupi kaur (milk and honey)

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It’s strange how your childhood sort of feels like forever. Then suddenly you’re sixteen and the world becomes an hourglass and you’re watching the sand pile up at the wrong end. And you’re thinking of how when you were just a kid, your heartbeat was like a kick drum at a rock show, and now it’s just a time bomb ticking out. And it’s sad. And you want to forget about dying. But mostly you just want to forget about saying goodbye.
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