We need to talk about Oliver Riedel.

We

sure 

as fuck

same lady same

do.

LIKE HONESTLY HE’S SO SLEPT ON IN THIS FANDOM SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY HE’S LITERALLY THE MOST HANDSOME PERSON IN THIS BAND 

Seriously guys. Look at this angel of the oceans, the pure soul of the waves, how Poseidon has crafted him into perfection, how his eyes twinkle with glowing stardust, how his nose forms an adorable slope, how his mouth curves into such a sweet, sweet smile!

This boy loves sports more than his own fucking life and I’m like yes yes yes yes I love an outdoorsy boy who does water sports and LOOK AT THAT BOD LOOK AT THOSE LEGS THOSE LEGS ARE LONGER THAN MY LIFESPAN

N OAGHHHHHH HE’S SO PRETTY 

He’s pretty quiet compared to the rest of the band which takes the attention away from him most of the time, but honestly when he talks his voice is so adorable and deep but he keeps it leveled because he’s afraid it’d sound intimidating and adsfsddgfhdfsdasdsfdgfads

Also he does this thing where he likes to stare into the camera when he talks, and then gets shy and his eyes move away, and it’s like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck doesn’t he know how cute that is?

Or he does and he’s using that to murder us all.

And I’m okay with that.

His basslines are also strong and simple yet so well-placed - sometimes the bass gets swallowed in songs in many bands but you can bet your ass that’s not happening to Oliver Riedel you will know that those deep strums will be there, solid, in every song.

Also he goes in deep eheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheI’ll stop now. 

He’s so tall, too. We don’t talk about Ollie if we don’t talk about his elf-like stature - how tall and slender yet well-built he is! He looks so imposing yet elegant, intimidating yet alluring with that height and build compared with his angelic face. I’d believe him if he said he was raised by faefolks in the deep forests as a child, and I’d believe him. He looks so ethereal up there onstage. It’s so impressive.

Everything looks smaller in his hands and I’m just giggling here like a mad bitch aw man he’s a treasure.

I know we all usually think he’s the most serious one in the band but let’s face it, he’s in Rammstein, a band that plays with literal hellfire because they want to this man is a boy inside.

Told you.

There’s a whole adorable side to Ollie Ollie Bo Bollie that you have to look a little closely to see, but when you do you totally understand why Ollie stans will kill and murder for him. He’s worth it. He’s worth every single ounce of love they give him and more.

In conclusion if this youngest member of Rammstein came over to my bedside and told me he’s taking my soul to the underworld because it’s time for me to go to Hell now I’d say yes and ask him for a hug and please hold me as you take me because you’re honestly so pretty and cool and strong and kind and badass and yes yes yes y e s Y E S

Thank you for paying attention to my presentation so uh yeah have a good day *LICKS PHOTOS OF OLLIE ONSCREEN*